Beautiful Scars
by GleekForHemo
Summary: Brittany is a shy 24 year old waitress. A serious accident left part of her body covered in burn scars. She hasn't been with anyone ever since, what happens when she meets a beautiful brunette at work? AU. Brittana! Pucktany, Tintany & Quinntana friendships.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: _Hi guys. Happy new year! I've been working on this story ever since I deleted it and finally decided to upload it again today. This time I know exactly where I want to take it so updates will be regularly. I apologize to those who are waiting for an update on my other story. Ideas just aren't coming to me right now so I might take a break from it and focus on this story for a while. Here's the first chapter! Enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

**Beautiful Scars**

_Summary: Brittany is a shy 24 year old waitress. A serious accident left part of her body covered in burn scars. She hasn't been with anyone ever since, what happens when she meets a beautiful brunette at work? AU._

**Chapter 1.**

Brittany woke up with a gasp, covered in a cold sweat. She sat upright and tried to get her breathing down to a normal level. The nightmare was still fresh in her mind and her hands unconsciously traveled to her stomach, rubbing the scars that marked the skin. She clenched her eyes shut, trying to block out the memories. The flames, the blood but most of all the screams.

Once her heart-rate had finally slowed down, she threw the covers off herself and climbed out of bed. Her bare feet padded against the floor as she made her way into the bathroom. She hurriedly undressed herself and turned away from the mirror to avoid seeing the reflection of her naked body. She stepped into the shower and turned on the water. Relaxation immediately took over, allowing her mind to go blank.

She quickly changed into her work clothes and rushed around her apartment to gather her things. She was already running late so she decided to skip breakfast, knowing she would regret it later during the day.

The streets of the early morning were quiet as Brittany made her way towards the bus stop. She pulled her coat closer around her body to shield herself from the cold wind.

The bus screeched to a halt and Brittany hurriedly climbed aboard. She took a seat in the back and glanced at her watch. She was definitely late and her boss would not appreciate it. Having a job as a waitress wasn't ideal, she had to work long shifts and the payment was minimal. It was barely enough to keep a roof over her head. That was also the reason why she used public transportation; she couldn't afford a car right now.

When she arrived at Joey's, she was instantly greeted by her co-worker and best friend Tina. The girl appeared to be shy but was actually very outgoing and fun once you got to know her. Her expression at the moment was anything but happy though. ''Britt, you're late. Hurry up.''

Brittany placed her bag behind the counter and shot her an apologetic smile. ''I'm sorry.''

Tina's eyes softened and she tilted her head, as if she was trying to find the right words. ''It's okay. Did you have another nightmare?''

Brittany simply nodded and tied an apron around her waist. Only a few people knew about the things that haunted her at night and she planned on keeping it that way. The concerned expression on her best friend's face unsettled her and she quickly averted her gaze elsewhere.

She clocked herself in and grabbed a notepad off the counter. She moved mechanically through the first part of the day, taking orders from rude customers and cleaning the mess they left behind. When it was finally time for her lunch break, her stomach was rumbling painfully. She normally tried to stay away from the junk food that was sold at Joey's but she didn't have much choice now that she hadn't brought anything from home.

Tina was already sitting at a table in the back of the diner and she looked up when Brittany joined her. Brittany shot her a smile. ''How was your date?''

Tina had been crushing on a guy named Mike for months now and he finally asked her out last week. Brittany hadn't been on a date in forever but her jealously disappeared as quickly as it came when she saw the happiness in her best friend's eyes. ''It was amazing. He brought me to this fancy restaurant and the whole evening was like a dream.''

She threw her head back to emphasize her words and Brittany couldn't help but smile. ''He sounds like a keeper.''

Tina nodded her head enthusiastically and continued to inform her on every detail of the date. Lunch break ended way too quickly and before Brittany knew it, she was on her feet again. The diner was overloaded with customers and she quickly rushed to a table that hadn't ordered yet. She flashed them a bright smile. ''Hi, can I take your order?''

A girl with blonde hair and hazel-green eyes looked up from her menu and returned the smile. ''Yeah I'd like to have the chicken parmesan please.''

Brittany nodded and wrote it down in her usual sloppy handwriting. Her eyes then landed on the brunette that was busy typing away on her phone. The blonde girl slapped her arm to get her attention. ''S!''

The brunette, whose name apparently started with an S, finally looked up and Brittany's eyes met a deep shade of brown. Her breath caught in her throat and for a moment everything went silent around her. The girl was beyond beautiful, there was no doubt about that. She was snapped back to reality when the brunette arched an eyebrow at her. Brittany realized that she had missed her order and her cheeks tinted red in embarrassment. ''I'm sorry?''

Her voice came out unusually high-pitched and her cheeks became even redder than before. The brunette gave her a lopsided grin. ''I'll have the same.''

Brittany shot them a small smile and decided to remain silent, not trusting her voice. She dropped the orders off in the kitchen and helped another customer. Her feet hurt and she was beyond exhausted but she wasn't even halfway through her shift yet. She couldn't remember the last time she had a good night rest and it was beginning to wear her down.

She could feel someone's eyes on her and she turned around to see the brunette from before smiling at her. Brittany blushed a little, for some reason she felt the need to talk to her but she decided against it.

Brittany continued to help customers as the time dragged on agonizingly slow. The table that was previously occupied by the two girls was now empty and she couldn't deny the disappointment that coursed through her veins.

Her shift came to an end eventually and she barely managed to keep her eyes open on the bus ride home. She rested her head against the cool glass of the window, watching the cars that passed by.

When Brittany arrived at her apartment, she threw her bag on the couch and made a beeline to her bedroom. She changed out of her work clothes and sat down on the edge of her bed. She sighed as she examined the scars, an uneasy feeling settling in her chest. She opened a drawer of the bedside table and grabbed the tube of ointment. She squeezed some of the minty smelling cream onto her fingers and started to rub it across her ribcage, on her flat stomach, across her lower back, over her hips and on her upper legs. She hated the sight of the scars but the cream made the tissue less sensitive.

Exhaustion began to overwhelm her and she pushed herself off the bed to put on some sleeping clothes. She walked into the bathroom and brushed her teeth, looking at her appearance in the mirror. There were dark circles under her dull blue eyes and her skin was even paler than usual. Brittany blinked a few times but nothing changed.

She crawled into bed and pulled the covers over her body. Luckily she had a late shift tomorrow so she could sleep in. She closed her eyes and could only hope for a night without nightmares.

* * *

Santana stared at the blank page of her laptop. She knew exactly what she wanted to write, she just couldn't decide on how to write it. It was almost midnight and she had to submit an article on American pop culture to Schuester's Magazine in less than a week. Her fingers hovered over the keyboard before she sighed in defeat.

''Fuck this.'' She muttered, grabbing her coat off the back of her chair. Fresh air was the best way to cure writer's block.

She left her apartment and began to make her way down the dark streets. It was cold outside and Santana's breath left her mouth in small, white puffs. She shoved her hands into her pockets and dropped her gaze to the dark concrete beneath her feet. Her mind was still completely blank and frustration was beginning to build up inside of her.

Her eyes landed on an illuminated sign in pink and blue that read; Joey's. Santana remembered having lunch there with her best friend Quinn a few days ago. She licked her lips at the thought of a fresh cup of coffee and hurriedly crossed the street.

The diner was quiet with only a few people gathered at the tables. Santana slid onto a stool at the counter and the waitress that was standing behind it looked up. Bright blue eyes met warm brown ones and Santana finally remembered why she had enjoyed eating at this diner so much. It was because of the gorgeous girl that worked there. She gave the blonde a small smile. ''Can I have a cup of coffee please?''

The waitress blinked a few times and then nodded her head. She returned with a pot of coffee less than a minute later and leaned over the counter to pour Santana a cup. ''There you go.''

Her voice was soft, almost angelic and Santana was determined to hear more of it. She tried to think of a way to start a conversation but couldn't come up with anything. She raised the cup of coffee to her lips, blowing on the hot liquid before carefully taking a sip. Her eyes followed the blonde who was cleaning some glasses. Her features were relaxed but Santana hadn't missed the hint of sadness in her eyes earlier.

Santana had almost finished her cup of coffee when the waitress finally looked up. Her eyes scanned the diner before they finally landed on Santana. Her eyebrows pinched together and Santana hoped that she was going to say something. A few seconds of silence passed before her wish came true. ''So what brings you here this late at night?''

Her voice was unsure, as if she was afraid of crossing a line by asking the question. Santana shot her an assuring smile. ''I'm trying to find some inspiration for work.''

The waitress nodded and stuffed the dish towel that she had been using in the pocket of her apron. ''What do you do?''

Santana was happy that the conversation wasn't over yet. ''I write articles for Schuester's magazine.''

A small smile formed on the blonde's lips. ''So you're into music?''

''I sure am.'' Santana replied enthusiastically. She wanted to ask for the blonde's name but she didn't know if she could. She settled for the following instead. ''Are you?'' The girl's face scrunched up in confusion and it was the most adorable thing Santana had ever seen. She chuckled and added, ''Into music.''

Realization washed over the blonde's features. She shrugged. ''I guess. I used to dance.''

The hint of sadness in her eyes was now also evident in her voice. It became clear to Santana that this subject was off limits. She wanted to take another sip of her coffee but realized that her cup was empty. The waitress gestured towards the pot and Santana nodded gratefully. The waitress gave her a small smile and refilled her cup. ''Thanks.''

The blonde nodded and unsuccessfully tried to stifle a yawn. Santana smiled. ''How late does your shift end?'' As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized what an odd question it was. ''Not that it's any of my business. I mean, you look tired and...''

She trailed off before she could humiliate herself any further. The blonde smiled a smile that actually reached her eyes this time. ''It's okay. I get off at two.''

''Do you often work late shifts?'' Santana asked, subtly trying to get an idea of her schedule.

''Only on Mondays and Thursdays.'' The blonde answered with a shrug.

Santana nodded. ''There must be a lot of weird people around at this time.''

''Kind of. I'm talking to one right now.'' The waitress replied with a smirk.

Santana put her hand over her heart, feigning heartbreak. ''I'm not weird.'' For the first time that night, the girl laughed and Santana was certain that it was the most beautiful sound in the world. She decided to test her luck. ''What's your name?''

The blonde tilted her head and studied Santana's face for a few seconds. She seemed so guarded and for some reason Santana felt the need to break through those walls. After what seemed like forever, she finally received an answer. ''It's Brittany.''

Santana couldn't help but smile, the name fit her. ''I'm Santana, it's nice to meet you.''

* * *

It was finally Sunday which meant that it was Brittany's day off. She dragged herself out of bed and walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower. She was so tired, it felt like she was just going through the motions without feeling anything. It had been that way for two years and she didn't think it was ever going to change.

She got dressed, she ate breakfast and went to the store to do some grocery shopping. All on autopilot. Her gaze remained lowered, avoiding eye contact at all costs. She knew that her clothing covered her scars but sometimes it felt like there was a big neon sign over her head that read; broken. Brittany kept to herself for the most part, there were only two people in her life that she considered her real friends.

One of them was Tina and the other one came barging into her apartment later that night. Brittany was just lounging on the couch, reading a book when Noah Puckerman disturbed her quiet. She'd been friends with him since high school and he was like a brother to her. While all her other friends had disappeared from her life after the accident, Noah had always been there for her and their bond had only become stronger.

''I brought you some food.'' Noah said, dropping a bag of what appeared to be Chinese take-out on the table. He took off his jacket and plopped down on the couch next to Brittany.

''Thanks but I'm not really hungry.'' Brittany mumbled. She closed her book and put it down before drawing her knees to her chest and wrapping her arms around them protectively.

Noah sighed sadly. ''You have to eat something, baby girl. You're getting way too skinny.''

While Noah claimed to be 'a badass ladies' man', he was actually really kind and caring. He had grown up a lot since high school, he had gotten rid of the nickname 'Puck' and made a decent living as a prison guard. Brittany hated the concerned look in his eyes so she stood up and grabbed two plates from the kitchen. She handed one to Noah and returned to her spot on the couch. Her friend seemed satisfied and immediately began to eat.

''So how are you?'' Noah asked after a while. ''Be honest with me.''

''I'm fine.'' Brittany replied, setting her plate down on the table. ''I've been really busy with work.''

''You know that's not what I meant.'' His voice was stern but gentle. He scooted closer until their shoulders were touching. Brittany knew that this was his way of showing that he was there for her. ''Are you still having nightmares?''

Brittany knew that there was no point in lying because he would see right through her. She dropped her gaze to her lap and slowly nodded her head. Noah set down his plate as well and placed a comforting hand on her lower back. ''Don't take this the wrong way but maybe it's time to seek professional help.''

Brittany's head shot up at this and she shrugged off his hand. ''I don't need a shrink, Noah. I'm fine.''

Her voice came out a little harsher than intended and Noah raised his hands in defense. ''Okay, I'm sorry.''

An awkward silence settled over the room and Brittany immediately felt guilty for snapping at her friend. She knew that he was just trying to help. She opened her mouth to apologize when Noah's ringtone sounded. He shot her a small smile and took his phone out of his pocket to answer it.

Brittany took this as her cue to stand up. She brought the plates to the kitchen and washed them off. She returned to her spot on the couch just as Noah finished his call. He turned to face her. ''We're going out for drinks with Sam and Mercedes. They're picking us up in half an hour.''

Sam worked with Noah and Mercedes was his girlfriend. Brittany had seen the couple a few times but she wouldn't consider them her friends. She sighed. ''I'm not really in the mood for drinks.''

Noah didn't seem surprised by her words. He'd been trying to convince her to go out for drinks for two years now and her answer was always the same. ''Come on Britt, you can't lock yourself up in your apartment forever. I know that you work late shifts on Mondays.''

Brittany raised her hands to briefly massage her temples. She knew that he was right but her fears dominated her mind. Noah seemed aware of her inner conflict because he sent her an assuring smile. ''It'll be fun. I promise.''

Brittany studied his face for a few seconds and then finally gave in. ''I don't know what to wear.''

Her friend smiled like he had just won the lottery. He stood up from the couch and gestured for her to follow. He led her into the bedroom and started to rummage through her closet. Brittany sat down on the bed and just watched him. ''You're not seriously giving me fashion advice, are you?''

''Just trust me.'' Noah said, glancing over his shoulder. Brittany sighed and waited patiently until he finally found what he was looking for. He handed her a black knee-length dress and a pair of heels. ''I'll wait for you outside.''

Brittany nodded and took the items from him. Noah smiled and disappeared from the room. Once she had changed, she finished her outfit with some accessories and walked into the bathroom to curl her hair. She gave herself a once over in the mirror and took a deep breath before re-entering the living room.

Noah was sitting on the couch and he looked up when Brittany walked in. A huge smile formed on his face. ''You look amazing.''

Brittany nervously bit her lip and looked down at herself. ''Can you see anything?''

Noah's eyes turned sympathetic and he got to his feet. He placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder and spoke in a gentle voice. ''You look beautiful, just trust me for once. The girls will be fighting over you.'' Brittany's lips twitched into a small smile and Noah recognized that look. He smirked. ''You met someone, didn't you?''

Brittany's thoughts wandered to Santana. The brunette had stopped by the diner almost every day this week. She was funny and it was easy to talk to her. Brittany felt comfortable around her. She looked at Noah who was still waiting for an answer. ''Maybe.''

He grinned. ''Tell me everything. I'm still your lezbro!''

''Shut up, Puckerman.'' Brittany lightly slapped his arm. ''Her name is Santana. I met her at work.''

''Is she hot?''

''That word doesn't do her justice.'' Brittany replied, giving him a disapproving look. ''She's absolutely gorgeous.''

''You've got it bad, baby girl!'' Noah laughed, earning a glare from Brittany. ''Why don't you ask her out on a date?''

Brittany averted her gaze to the floor, the familiar uneasy feeling twisting her stomach. ''Someone as beautiful as her would never be interested in me.'' She lifted her head to meet Noah's sad eyes. He opened his mouth to protest but Brittany didn't give him the chance. ''Let's go before I change my mind.''

Noah sighed but didn't say anything. He put on his jacket and linked their arms together as they left the apartment. Sam's car was already parked outside and they climbed in the backseat. They all greeted each other before Sam started the engine and pulled out of the parking space.

''I'm so glad that you decided to join us!'' Mercedes told Brittany. She was wearing a beautiful red dress and her hair fell over her shoulders in waves. Brittany had always been jealous of how confident she was. ''We haven't seen you in forever.''

''We hear plenty of things about you from Noah though.'' Sam said, looking at her in the rearview mirror.

Brittany arched an eyebrow at Noah, silently asking for an explanation. He laughed. ''What? You're practically my little sister.''

Brittany rolled her eyes and gave him a small smile. She focused her attention on Mercedes again. ''How's your album getting along?''

Mercedes was an amazing singer and had recently signed a record deal with a small label. ''Things are going great. We've just finished writing all the songs so we'll probably start with the recording process soon.''

''That's awesome.'' Brittany replied genuinely. ''I can't wait to hear the result.''

''You won't be disappointed.'' Sam said from the driver's seat. He shot his girlfriend a proud smile and Brittany couldn't help but be a little jealous of their connection. They were obviously very in love and it reminded Brittany of how lonely her own life was. She sighed and rested her forehead against the car window.

When they arrived at Mojo's it was very busy but they were allowed to cut the line because Noah apparently knew the owner. Brittany had to admit that it was a little unfair but she didn't mind. The bouncer let them through and they walked into the club.

They ordered some drinks and a guy in a black suit guided them to the private booth Noah had managed to get them. They slid into a seat and Brittany took a moment to scan her surroundings. The dance floor was packed with people moving to the music and a familiar urge bubbled up inside of Brittany. She quickly tore her eyes away and focused them on Sam who was telling a story.

After they had finished their first drink, Noah leaned in to speak in Brittany's ear. ''Come dance with me.'' Brittany went to shake her head but he continued. ''Just allow yourself to have fun for once.''

Brittany pulled back a little to look at him. Panic built up inside of her and she nervously began to fiddle with her bracelet. ''I'm not sure.''

''Please, for me.'' He clasped his hands together and put on the biggest puppy dog eyes. Brittany sighed and gave him a small nod in response. He grinned and took her hand to lead her onto the dance floor.

Brittany swallowed thickly and tried to push the negative thoughts in her mind away. Her steps were hesitant at first but they grew more confident as she allowed the music to carry her away. There was suddenly a tap on Brittany's shoulder and she turned around to face a semi-attractive redhead. The girl started to grind against her and Brittany stood frozen for a few seconds before she copied the movements. She threw a quick glance at Noah and saw that he was dancing with two girls at the same time. She shook her head in amusement and focused her attention on the redhead again.

The girl encircled Brittany's neck with her arms, pulling their bodies closer together. Brittany shook off the uncomfortable feeling that she got and repeated Noah's words in her head, _just allow yourself to have fun for once_. The girl suddenly pressed her lips against Brittany's, taking her by surprise. It took a few seconds before she started to kiss back, slightly parting her lips to grant the girl access. She tried to relax but everything about this felt wrong. The girl, the dancing…

The kiss quickly became heated and Brittany was snapped back to reality when the girl's hands began to wander up and down her sides. She broke the kiss and pulled away. The girl looked at her with a confused expression but Brittany just shook her head and went to find Noah.

She tapped his shoulder to get his attention and leaned in to speak in his ear. ''I'm going home.''

His eyes filled with concern and he placed a hand on her lower back to guide her towards a quiet corner of the club. ''Are you okay?''

''I can't do this, Noah.'' Brittany replied, her throat constricting. ''I just can't.''

''Brittany.'' Noah said gently, rubbing his hand up and down her arm in a comforting manner. ''I know that it's hard but you've got to pick up your life at some point.''

Brittany lowered her head in embarrassment and blinked away the tears that were burning behind her eyes. ''I know but I'm just not ready yet.'' She slowly lifted her head to meet Noah's eyes. ''Can you tell Sam and Mercedes that I'm sorry? I really am.''

Her bottom lip quivered as she tried to keep her tears at bay. Noah frowned, his eyes holding nothing but sadness. ''It's okay, baby girl. I know that you are. Do you want me to take you home?''

Brittany shook her head. ''I'll take a cab.'' She pinched the bridge of her nose. ''I'm really sorry.''

''Stop apologizing. It's fine. You tried and I'm proud of you for that.'' Noah told her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a tight hug. Brittany buried her face in his shoulder, she always felt safe in his embrace. ''Be careful, okay?''

They pulled back and Brittany nodded. ''I will. Enjoy the rest of your night.'' She shot him a small smile and started to make her way through the crowd.

When she got outside, she waved over a cab and gave the driver her address. The man gave her a curious look, one that had probably something to do with the tears that were now streaming down her face. She ignored him and leaned back in her seat. She was frustrated with herself, it felt like she would never be able to overcome her fears, no matter how hard she tried. How could anyone ever love her if she couldn't even look at her own body without wanting to curl up into a corner and hide from the world?


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: _Hi, thanks to those who read/reviewed! :) This chapter is kinda fillery so I'll have the next one up in a few days.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 2.**

"I'll be right there!" Santana yelled, hoping to put an end to the knocking on her door. She was just about to email the final version of the article to her boss. It had turned out pretty good, if she said so herself. She pressed the send button and closed her laptop. The knocking had started again at full force and Santana let out an annoyed groan as she stood up to open the door. "Christ Quinn, what is your problem?"

Quinn ignored the question and walked straight passed her. "You need an intervention."

Santana closed the door and followed the blonde into the living room. She crossed her arms over her chest. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"You've cancelled our plans twice this week because you'd rather spend your time at Joey's!" Quinn explained in a dramatic voice.

"I go there to write. I've come to the conclusion that it's best not to stay cramped up in my apartment all day." Santana replied calmly. "You're starting to sound like a possessive girlfriend, I thought that you didn't play for my team."

Quinn rolled her eyes, ignoring the comment. "We both know that you only go there to perve on that waitress."

Santana raised her eyebrows. "You're making me sound like some creepy old man."

"So you're not denying it!" Quinn pointed a finger at her. Santana threw her a glare but didn't say anything. Quinn smirked in victory. "What's her name again? Brandi, Brody, Bruce…"

"Really Quinn? Bruce?" Santana interrupted her. "You can be so annoying. It's Brittany."

A self-satisfied grin spread across Quinn's features. She clasped her hands together. "I'm here to save you from your sad dating life." Santana opened her mouth to protest but Quinn quickly continued. "We are going to eat dinner at Joey's and then you're going to ask Brittany out."

Santana sighed in defeat. "I don't even know if she's into girls."

Brittany hadn't shared much personal information during their conversations so Santana didn't know much about her. Every time Santana tried to get her to open up, it was like her walls only became thicker. There was something about her though and Santana was determined to get to know her. Because even with the exhaustion written across her delicate features and the ever present sadness in her blue eyes, Brittany was the most beautiful girl that Santana had ever seen.

"Earth to Santana." Quinn waved a hand in her face. She grabbed Santana's coat and handed it to her. "I repeat, there's only one way to find out."

"Wait!" Santana stopped her. She glanced at the clock on the wall. "It's Monday so her shift doesn't start for another twenty minutes."

Quinn shook her head. "It's worse than I thought." She sighed and sat down on the couch, obviously annoyed about having to wait. "Did you submit the article?"

Santana sat down next to her, relieved that she'd been able to buy herself some time. "I just did. Have you been informed on next month's edition yet?"

Quinn worked at Schuester's Magazine as a graphic designer. The two instantly got along when they were introduced to each other on Santana's first day. Quinn nodded. "Latin music. I like it."

"Will put me in charge of the main article." Santana mumbled, huffing angrily. "That racist bastard."

"He's just satisfied with your work." Quinn said, giving her a light pat on the back. "Lighten up, S. This is a huge deal given your age."

Santana had initially started out as an intern but the internship had turned into a fulltime job in less than a year. At the age of 25, she was one of the youngest fulltime writers at Schuester's Magazine.

"I guess." Santana mumbled absentmindedly. A few moments passed before an idea suddenly hit her. "Hey, we should go see that movie you've been bugging me about for weeks."

Quinn sighed and replied with a simple, "No." She glanced at the clock and a small smile graced her lips. "We're going to get your girl, right about now."

She stood up from the couch and started to make her way towards the door. Santana grabbed her coat and quickly followed the blonde.

"What if she says no?" Santana asked, her usual confidence suddenly disappearing. "That would seriously damage my ego."

"Good." Quinn said, smirking at the expression on her friend's face. "I'm kidding. She won't say no." Santana eyed her skeptically but decided not to say anything. "I've already seen that movie with Rachel by the way."

"You've been hanging out with that midget?" Santana asked, scrunching up her nose in fake disgust. Rachel had been Will's assistant for about two months now. She talked too much but Santana didn't actually dislike her.

"She's nice." Quinn answered her with a shrug. They left the apartment and Santana realized that there was no way out of this.

* * *

The bus was pretty packed but Brittany had somehow still managed to find a seat near the back. She stared out of the window as her mind wandered back to last night. She had always thought that things would get easier with time but she was really starting to doubt that. After the accident, the hospital had offered her counseling but she had always refused. The thought of talking about what happened with a stranger made her feel really uncomfortable and she couldn't even talk about it without choking up.

Her parents had stayed by Brittany's bedside the entire time she was in the hospital. When she was finally released after a few months, it had been hard to adjust to being back at home and her parents had tried their best to help her through that. They had to go back to Ohio eventually though and couldn't distract Brittany from reality anymore. After weeks of moping around, Noah had managed to convince her to find a job and that's how she had ended up at Joey's. Anything was better than being alone with her own thoughts for too long.

When Brittany arrived at work, she was ten minutes early. Mondays were always exhausting because her shift started just before the dinner rush. Luckily, she would be working with Tina and Marley today and it was always fun to be around them.

"Hey Brittany!" Marley greeted her enthusiastically. She had only been working at Joey's for a few months but Brittany really liked her. It was like the girl had a permanent smile on her face and it was contagious.

"How are you?" Brittany asked in response. She placed her bag behind the counter and took off her coat. Marley sighed heavily and sent her a look that said it all. Brittany let out a soft chuckle. "Trouble in paradise?"

"I guess you could say that." Marley answered. She had been fighting with her boyfriend Zach a lot more often since the two had moved in together. "He never cleans up after himself and it's so frustrating!"

Brittany smiled and tied an apron around her waist. "That's why I don't date men."

"Speaking of dating," Marley began with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "when are you finally going to ask that girl out?" Brittany raised her eyebrows in surprise and Marley laughed. "You know, the sexy Latina that comes in here every day."

"Her name is Santana." Tina's voice suddenly piped up. She dropped an order off at the kitchen and turned around to face them. "I've been wondering the exact same thing, Britt. She's definitely into you."

Brittany started to fold some napkins to busy herself. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Have you seen the way she looks at you?" Tina asked.

Marley made a noise of agreement. "Don't tell me that she only comes here for the food because it's not _that_ great."

"I'm going to let that comment slide." Joey suddenly appeared out of nowhere. The guy was a little strange but he did truly care about his employees. He had a huge collection of glasses and wore a different color every day, green being today's choice. "Get to work ladies."

Brittany was happy that the conversation was over and immediately did as she was told. It was quite busy already so she quickly grabbed a notepad and began taking orders. As much as she appreciated her friends' help, she highly doubted that Santana was actually interested in her. The brunette simply came to the diner to write and she was probably just being nice by talking to Brittany. She couldn't help but feel disappointed though because she did really like Santana.

Thoughts of the brunette consumed Brittany's mind and even without looking up, Brittany knew that it was her who walked into the diner about ten minutes into her shift. Brittany smiled at the elderly couple who she had been talking to and walked away from their table. Her eyes scanned the diner until they connected with warm brown ones.

Santana was seated at a table in the corner. Brittany instantly noticed that she was with the same girl as on the first day they met. Her stomach lurched in an unpleasant manner but she shrugged it off; she didn't have the right to be jealous.

Santana smiled at her and gave her a small wave. Brittany blushed a little and shyly returned the gesture. She unconsciously lifted her hand to fix her hair and slowly approached the table. She greeted the two girls with a soft, "Hey."

Santana's smile grew about an inch. "Hey Britt." The shortening of her name made Brittany's heart speed up in a good way. Santana nodded her head at the girl in front of her. "This is my best friend Quinn."

Brittany smiled at the blonde. "It's nice to meet you, I'm Brittany."

"Oh I know." Quinn replied with a smirk. Brittany looked at her with a confused expression but didn't get the chance to say anything.

"How are you?" Santana quickly regained her attention.

"I'm good." Brittany said with a small nod. "Did everything work out with the article?"

Santana smiled widely, as if she was happy that Brittany still remembered. "It did, thanks for asking."

Brittany felt someone's eyes on her and she turned her head to meet Joey's gaze. He arched an eyebrow at her and gestured for her to hurry up. She nodded and focused her attention on the two girls again. "Well, it looks like I have to move along." A look of what seemed to be disappointment flashed across Santana's face but Brittany figured that she was just imagining it.

Once Brittany had scribbled down their orders, she dropped the note off at the kitchen and continued to help other customers. The diner was unusually crowded for a Monday night and it felt like Brittany's feet were going to fall off from the amount of walking she had to do.

After about an hour, things finally quieted down a little and Brittany took a moment to breathe. She got herself a glass of water from behind the counter and drained it greedily.

Her back was aching and she closed her eyes for a brief moment. When she opened them again, she was surprised to meet Santana's brown orbs. Brittany threw a quick glance at Quinn who was watching them in a not very subtle way before meeting Santana's eyes again. "Hi."

Santana sent her a small smile in return and slid onto a stool at the counter. She seemed to be nervous which was strange considering her usual confidence. "So..."

Brittany waited patiently for her to continue but after a few seconds it became clear that she wasn't going to. A small chuckle escaped Brittany's lips. "So?"

Santana sighed and clasped her together in front of her. "I was wondering if," She paused for a few seconds and then rushed out the rest of the sentence. "you'd like to go on a date? With me?"

Brittany would've smiled at how cute Santana was being if she hadn't been so surprised by her words. A feeling of happiness momentarily rushed through her until reality set in. After the accident, Brittany had sworn that she would never date again. She couldn't even look at her own body without feeling disgusted and she didn't want to grow attached to Santana only to get dumped later on.

Hesitation must've been noticeable on her face because Santana's smile slowly faded and she nervously shifted in her seat. "Brittany?"

The sound of Santana's voice pulled Brittany from her thoughts. The uncertainty on Santana's face made her look so vulnerable and Brittany instantly felt guilty when the following words left her mouth, "I can't."

Santana's face fell. "Oh." She awkwardly cleared her throat. "You have a boyfriend, don't you? Of course you do, I'm such an idiot." It seemed like the words were more directed to herself than to Brittany.

Brittany wanted to correct her but in the end she simply mumbled, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." Santana said quietly. She hopped off the stool. "I guess I'll see you around."

With that, Santana walked away from Brittany and back to Quinn. She exchanged a few words with her friend and Brittany's eyes followed them as they left the diner.

Brittany stood frozen in place until Tina slapped her arm. "Brittany Susan Pierce, what the hell was that?"

Brittany flinched at the use of her full name. "Excuse me?"

Tina placed her hands on her hips and shook her head in disapproval. "She finally asked you out and you said no! Why would you do that?"

"Because!" Brittany threw her hands up in frustration. Tina's eyes widened at the harsh tone of her voice and she instantly felt bad. "I'm sorry." She quickly apologized. "I said no because how could anyone ever like this?" She gestured down to her body.

Tina's eyes softened and she placed a hand on Brittany's arm. "You should let Santana decide that for herself. She obviously likes you a lot, give her a chance."

Brittany sighed and ran a hand through her hair. "I don't know, Tina."

"You're beautiful, Britt, and your scars don't change that. I understand that you're afraid of getting hurt but Santana seems like a good person." Tina told her gently, giving her arm a soft squeeze. "Besides, it's not like you're agreeing to marry her. It's just a date."

Brittany's lips quirked up into a small smile. It disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared though. "It's too late now. She's probably never coming back."

"You know where she works right?" Tina asked. Brittany nodded. "I'm sure that you can find her there."

Brittany bit her lip and took a moment to think about it. She felt weak for letting her fears get the best of her, again. After a few seconds she finally gave in. "Okay, I'll go during my lunch break tomorrow."

Tina smiled widely. "Good girl." She cheered, giving Brittany's arm another squeeze before retracting her hand. "Remember, you're not leaving that building without success."

Brittany rolled her eyes, playfully. "Yes, Ma'am."

* * *

The next day, Brittany was standing on the sidewalk in front of a small silver toned building. She had looked up the directions to Schuester's Magazine the night before and it hadn't been a long walk from Joey's. Her stomach twisted in nerves and this suddenly didn't seem like such a good idea after all. For the first time in her life, Brittany was determined not to run away though. She looked into the reflection of the window and quickly fixed her hair. She took a few deep breaths and pushed the door open.

She slowly made her way through the small lobby towards the front desk. The receptionist was talking on the phone and she held up a finger, gesturing for Brittany to wait. Brittany took this as an opportunity to look around. The walls were lined with vinyl records and posters. There was a huge staircase that led to the second floor where the offices were located. The atmosphere seemed relaxing and pleasant.

"Can I help you?" The woman behind the desk asked. Brittany's nerves returned in full force and she briefly considered making a run for it. There was always the chance that Santana didn't want to go on a date anymore after Brittany had rejected her. It would be beyond embarrassing if that were the case. "Miss?"

Brittany realized that she had been silent for too long. She awkwardly shifted from foot to foot. "Uh, I'm looking for Santana."

"I'm afraid she's not here right now." The woman answered, sending her an apologetic smile. "She usually works from home."

Brittany nodded and nervously scratched the back of her neck. Tina's voice echoed through her mind, _you're not leaving that building without success_. Brittany sighed. "Can you maybe give me her address?"

"I'm afraid that I can't give you that information." The woman replied. "I have to respect the privacy of our employees."

"I understand." Brittany mumbled, dropping her shoulders in defeat. "Thanks for your help."

Brittany turned around and began to make her way towards the door. She had never felt this stupid in her entire life. Santana would probably never return to the diner again and Brittany would never see her again, all because she let her fears dominate her life. Tina was right, she should've given Santana a chance but it was too late now.

Her hand just reached out for the door handle when her name was called. Brittany turned around and came face to face with Quinn. The shorter blonde wore a confused, slightly defensive expression on her face. "What are you doing here?"

"I was looking for Santana." Brittany explained.

Quinn narrowed her eyes. "Why?"

Brittany dropped her gaze to the floor. She knew that Quinn was just looking out for her friend but she could be strangely intimidating. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday."

"I see." Quinn said. Brittany instantly noted that her voice had softened considerably and she hesitantly lifted her head. Quinn smiled at her. "I knew you'd come around."

Brittany gave her a small nod in reply. "Can you give me her address? I'd really like to talk to her in person." Quinn nodded so Brittany rummaged through her bag and pulled out a pen and a piece of paper.

"There you go. It's about a 5 minute walk from here." Quinn said once she'd scribbled down the address. She gave Brittany some directions and handed her the piece of paper. "Don't mess it up this time."

"I won't." Brittany said, trying to sound as confident as possible. "Thanks Quinn."

She gave the blonde a small wave and rushed out the door, determined to talk to Santana before her lunch break ended. Her eyes scanned the address a few times and with Quinn's directions, it wasn't too hard to find the right place. Santana lived on the third floor of the apartment building. Brittany didn't even bother waiting for the elevator and took the stairs instead.

Brittany reached the right door slightly out of breath. She hadn't had the time to think this through in her rush to get here and all her doubts resurfaced. A million things ran through her mind and with every passing second she became less and less confident. Brittany closed her eyes for a moment. Like Tina had already said, it was just a date so what's the worst that could happen? Brittany took a deep breath and raised her hand to knock on the door, only to let it fall down her side again. She mentally cursed herself for being such a nervous wreck. The clock kept ticking on and Brittany knew that it was now or never if she wanted to make it back to work on time. She raised her hand again and finally brought up the courage to go through with the action.

After a few minutes, Brittany heard the door being unlocked and she took a step backwards. Santana appeared and her face scrunched up in confusion. "Brittany?" The blonde just stared at her, unable to form any words. Santana's hair was tied into a messy bun but she still looked so beautiful. "What are you doing here?"

Brittany wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans. "I-I…" She stammered, her cheeks turning red. Her inability to speak caused Santana to raise her eyebrows at her. Brittany lowered her head in embarrassment. "I shouldn't have come here."

She wanted to walk away but Santana's voice stopped her. "Britt, wait." Brittany swallowed thickly and hesitantly lifted her head to meet Santana's eyes. The warmth she saw in them made her heart flutter in her chest. "Please tell me."

Santana's voice was so sweet and it instantly made some of Brittany's nerves disappear. She sighed. "Quinn gave me your address. I wanted to apologize for yesterday and maybe," She took a deep breath and squeaked out the next words. "you'll consider going on a date with me after all?"

The brunette's face remained blank and Brittany felt like she was going to throw up. Finally, Santana cleared her throat and spoke in an even voice. "What about your boyfriend?"

"Huh?" Brittany blurted out in confusion.

"When I asked you if you had a boyfriend yesterday, you didn't deny it." Santana explained. Brittany thought back of their conversation and realization washed over her.

She gave Santana a small smile. "I don't have a boyfriend." Santana nodded but didn't say anything. A few seconds of silence passed before Brittany finally found the courage to ask the following, "So, do you still want to go on this date? I understand if you don't want to. I acted like an idiot yesterday and I'm really sorry and…"

"Brittany." Santana silenced her rambling, tilting her head in amusement. "I'd love to go on a date with you." Relief washed over Brittany's features and it was like she finally remembered how to breathe again. Santana let out a soft chuckle. "How about Friday night?"

Brittany quickly nodded her head. "Friday's good. I mean awesome. Cool." She mentally slapped herself as soon as the words left her mouth. It seemed like she had lost all her dating skills over the last few years.

Santana smiled. "Let me give you my number so we can exchange the details."

Brittany nodded in agreement. When she realized that she had forgotten her phone at work, she grabbed a pen out of her bag and handed it to Santana. She wanted to look for a piece of paper as well but Santana curled her fingers around her wrist and wrote the digits down on her hand. Brittany's skin tingled from the touch and she felt a blush creep onto her face.

"There you go." Santana said as she handed the pen back to Brittany. "Text me." She smiled warmly and Brittany couldn't help but smile back.

"I will."


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: _Enjoy! :)

* * *

**Chapter 3.**

The next couple of days passed very slowly. Santana had a hard time focusing on her work because her mind was filled with thoughts of a certain blue eyed blonde. She just wanted their date to be perfect. That was all. The problem, however, was that planning a date wasn't one of her strongest points and she had no idea where to take Brittany. That's how she found herself at Joey's that afternoon. She knew, how creepy as it was, that Brittany's shift wouldn't start until a few hours so that gave her plenty of time to ask Tina for advice.

"Hey, Santana." Tina greeted her with a smile. "Brittany won't be here until later."

"I know." Santana said without thinking. Her cheeks turned red with embarrassment at the weird look she received from Tina. She awkwardly cleared her throat. "I'm here for you actually."

"Oh?"

Santana took a seat at the counter before she explained herself. "As you probably already know, Brittany and I are going on a date tomorrow." She waited for a nod of confirmation before continuing. "I was wondering if you could give me any advice on where to take her. What are some things that she enjoys doing?"

Tina smiled. "Well, simplicity is key. I wouldn't bother trying to impress her by taking her to a fancy restaurant or something like that."

"Okay, so nothing too expensive. What else?"

"Oh, don't take her to a place that's majorly overcrowded. She doesn't like that." Tina added quickly. Santana looked at her curiously but didn't ask anything. "Don't worry too much Santana, I'm sure it'll be fine."

Santana sighed. She couldn't remember the last time she had put this much thought into something. "I just want to get to know her better."

"Then that's what the date should be about." Tina told her. "I'm sure you'll think of something. Brittany probably won't care anyway, she'll be happy with whatever you come up with as long as it's nothing weird."

Santana smiled. "I'll keep that in mind."

Tina was silent for a second as her expression changed into a serious one. "I like you Santana but I have to say this. Brittany's my best friend, she's been through a lot and I'm very protective of her. I can tell that you're a good person and as cliché as it sounds, just don't hurt her." She narrowed her eyes and lowered her voice as she added, "I have eyes everywhere so I will find out if you do and I'll make your life a living hell."

Santana gulped nervously, surprised by how intimidating Tina could be, and quickly shook her head. "I would never hurt her. I promise."

"Great." Tina cheered, her usual smile suddenly back in place. "I'm glad that we have an understanding."

"We sure do." Santana agreed as she quickly got to her feet. "Thanks for your help, Tina. I should really get going now."

"Okay, I'll see you later." Tina said. Santana shot her a smile and hurried out the door, glad she made it out of there in one piece. She wasn't easily impressed but who would've thought that Tina could be scary.

* * *

"What the hell happened in here?" Noah asked, looking at the clothes that were spread out across the floor of Brittany's bedroom. Brittany jumped in surprise and covered her heart with her hand.

"Jesus Noah, you scared me." She said once her heart-rate had slowed down again. She continued to rummage through her closet and tossed a few t-shirts over her shoulder. "I gave you a key to my apartment for emergencies only."

"This looks like an emergency to me." Noah mumbled, looking around the room once more. "Britt, what are you doing?"

Brittany sighed and let her arms fall down her sides in frustration. "I have a date with Santana in less than an hour and I have no idea what to wear."

"You have a date?" Noah raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. I guess I was so nervous that I forgot." Brittany explained, shooting him an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry."

"No worries." Noah assured her as he bent down to pick up some clothes from the floor before taking a few steps closer to Brittany. "Is she picking you up?"

Brittany nodded. "Yeah."

"Well, did she tell you what she's got planned?" Noah asked.

"No." Brittany said softly, feeling nerves bubbling up inside of her again. She groaned and buried her face in her hands. "She just told me to dress casually. What does that even mean?"

Noah let out a soft chuckle and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Calm down. Everything's going to be just fine now that I'm here to help you."

Brittany eyed him skeptically. "Are you going to give me fashion advice again?"

"I sure am." Noah replied with a smirk. He stepped in front of Brittany and started to look through her closet. Brittany sighed in defeat and just waited. After a while, Noah handed her a pair of black skinny jeans, a simple white t-shirt and a leather jacket. "Casual and hot at the same time. Her jaw will hit the floor once she sees you. Don't forget to thank me."

Brittany rolled her eyes, playfully. "I won't."

"In all seriousness," Noah began, his expression matching the tone of his voice. "I'm really proud of you for doing this. I know that it's not easy for you."

"Thanks, Noah." Brittany smiled, giving him a one-armed hug. "You're a really good friend."

Noah brushed his hand through his hair with a smug look on his face. "I know."

Brittany laughed and shoved him playfully. "Now please leave."

"Yes Ma'am." Noah smiled, already making his way to the door. He glanced over his shoulder. "Text me afterwards to let me know how it went."

Brittany nodded and waited until she heard the door slam shut before changing into the clothes that Noah had picked out for her. She took a few deep breaths and managed to calm herself down enough to fix her hair and make-up.

If possible, her nerves had increased even more by now. She knew that Santana would be there soon. She sighed, frustrated with herself, and continued to pace up and down her room, glancing at her watch every five seconds.

Finally, a round of knocks sounded and Brittany's heart leaped into her throat. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to gather her thoughts. A shudder of anxiety rippled through her body and for a split second she felt like she was going to be sick. Doubts and insecurities began creeping into her mind and she let out a shaky breath. All this made her want to call the whole thing off but she quickly realized that it was too late for that now.

Santana, the most beautiful girl she had ever seen, was already waiting for her and backing out now would be ridiculous. Brittany opened her eyes and slowly made her way to the door. She placed her hand on the doorknob and hesitated for another second before turning it.

Her breath caught in her throat like it always did whenever she came face to face with Santana. The brunette looked stunning, long hair flowing over her shoulders, a smile gracing her full lips. Brittany suddenly felt really self-conscious but she forced her fears to go away. She cleared her throat and sent Santana a shy smile, "Hi."

"Hi." Santana echoed. She let her eyes scan up and down Brittany's body and Brittany felt her cheeks heat up at the attention. "You look beautiful."

Brittany's cheek turned even redder than before, blushing furiously. "Oh, uh, thank you. So do you." She stuttered out nervously.

Santana narrowed her eyes. "Are you feeling alright?" She asked, taking in Brittany's flustered demeanor.

"Huh?" Brittany blurted out, tilting her head to the side. She mentally cursed herself for acting like an idiot, again. "I'm fine, just a little nervous."

Santana's features softened. "You don't have to be nervous, Britt. It'll be fun, I promise."

Brittany felt her heart flutter in her chest at the sweet tone of Santana's voice. Her nerves were instantly put at ease a little. She wondered how the brunette could be this relaxed for a date but she didn't ask. Instead, she stepped outside and locked the door behind her. She smiled at Santana. "Alright, let's go."

Santana returned the smile and placed a hand on the small of Brittany's back, guiding her out of the building and to her car. Santana's touch was light and Brittany could barely feel it but it still sent jolts of electricity through her body. They talked about nothing in particular on their way. Brittany kept asking Santana where they were headed but she refused to say anything. Finally, she gave up and asked her about work instead. She admired how happy and content Santana seemed as she spoke about what she loved doing most.

"Santana, are you lost?" Brittany asked after a while, looking at the trees that were lining each side of the narrow dirt path they were following. "You're not planning on killing me and dumping my body in the woods, are you?"

"How did you guess?" Santana shot her a serious look. Brittany's eyes widened slightly and Santana chuckled in amusement. "I'm kidding. Of course I won't leave your body as food for the wolves, that's just cruel."

"You suck." Brittany pouted. Santana just smiled and stopped the car. They both got out and Brittany looked around. Her curiosity grew when Santana opened the trunk and grabbed a backpack. "What are we doing here?"

"Patience." Santana reminded her.

She slammed the trunk shut and they started walking. Santana guided them around the trees, carefully dodging the branches that whipped at them, and up a hill. Brittany concentrated on her steps as they followed a trail deeper into the woods. It was dark in this area and she had a difficult time seeing where they were going. She was so focused on her feet that she failed to notice that Santana had stopped walking and bumped into her, causing her to lose her balance. Santana reacted quickly and grabbed her arm to support her.

"Are you okay?" She asked softly.

Brittany nodded, a little embarrassed. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Santana looked at her for another moment before letting go of her arm. "It's just a little further."

They continued walking and finally came to a stop at a small clearing that overlooked part of the city. The sun was beginning to set, creating a beautiful pattern of color across the sky. Brittany couldn't stop the wide smile appearing on her face. "It's beautiful."

"I brought food." Santana stated, taking off her backpack. "I thought we could just talk and get to know each other better while we eat." She swallowed and nervously rubbed the back of her neck. "I hope that's okay."

Brittany smiled softly at how adorable she was being. "That sounds perfect."

Santana breathed out a sigh of relief. She spread a rug on the ground and they both sat down on it, cross-legged. She then pulled two still warm containers of food out of her backpack along with a set of plates, cutlery and drinks. "I hope you like pasta."

"I love pasta." Brittany told her. "I can't believe you did all this."

"Well the sunset wasn't my doing." Santana joked, earning another smile from Brittany. "But yeah, my dad once took me here when I was younger and I still come back every now and then. It's a great place to clear your mind."

She fixed two plates of food and handed one to Brittany who thanked her. The blonde took a bite and let out an appreciative hum. "This is delicious." She said, covering her mouth with her hand.

"I'm glad you think so." Santana smiled.

A few moments passed in which they ate in a comfortable silence before Brittany suddenly blurted out, "What's your favorite movie?" Santana shot her a surprised look but answered the question anyway.

"The notebook."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't tell anyone but it makes me bawl every time."

"I would be worried if it didn't." Brittany said, looking slightly amused. "I tend to avoid sad movies because of the mood they leave me in. I prefer light-hearted stuff that makes me laugh."

"That makes sense." Santana said with a nod of the head. "So, what's your favorite Christmas movie?"

"How the Grinch stole Christmas." Brittany answered without any hesitation. "What's yours?"

"Elf."

"What's your favorite color?"

Santana couldn't help but smile. Brittany seemed a lot less nervous than before so she didn't mind being bombarded with questions. "Blue." She said confidently, her eyes never leaving Brittany's. Brittany blushed and shyly ducked her head. Santana grinned and continued. "What's your favorite book?"

"All the Harry Potter books. Do you have an irrational fear?"

"I'm afraid of killing spiders." Santana said seriously.

Brittany's brow furrowed in confusion. "Why?"

"Their family might come after me because they saw me do it." Santana explained, shuddering at the thought. Brittany momentarily stared at her with a blank expression on her face and then started laughing. Santana's lips formed into a pout. "It's not funny."

"I'm sorry." Brittany apologized after she had composed herself. "But that's adorable."

Santana smiled shyly and looked down at her hands. "It's not."

"It is." Brittany insisted. She tapped her finger against her chin as she tried to think of her next question. "What's your full name?"

"Santana Marie Lopez. And yours?"

"That's pretty." Brittany commented. "Mine is Brittany S. Pierce. Not to be mistaken with Britney Spears."

Santana tilted her head in amusement. "What does the 'S' stand for?"

"Susan. After my mom."

During the rest of the meal, they avoided serious topics and just learned small things about each other that they didn't know before. Santana learned that Brittany was an only child. Her Dutch parents moved to America thirty years ago and they lived in a small town in Ohio where Brittany grew up. Brittany learned that Santana was also an only child. She had been living in the city her whole life and her parents lived there as well.

"Are you close with your parents?" Brittany asked.

Santana sighed and pushed her food around on her plate, distractedly. "Not really. They refuse to accept that I'm gay so they kind of ignore that part of me and it always leads to an argument."

Brittany could tell that this was a sensitive subject for her. She shuffled a little closer and placed a comforting hand on the brunette's arm. "I'm sorry to hear that, Santana."

Santana flashed her a small, appreciative smile. "Thanks, Britt."

Once they had finished eating, Santana gathered everything and shoved it back into her backpack. "Do you want to walk around for a bit?" She asked, not quite wanting the date to end yet. "I know a longer path back to the car."

Brittany nodded and they both stood up. They started to walk through the woods, following a path that snaked around the trees. Their hands brushed against each other every now and then and the touch made Santana feel light-headed. Hit by a sudden wave of boldness, she finally slipped her hand into Brittany's warm one. She sighed in relief when Brittany gave her hand a soft squeeze and didn't pull away.

"Can I ask you a question?" Santana asked, breaking the peaceful silence around them. Brittany nodded. "When we first met, you said that you used to dance. Why don't you anymore?"

Brittany let out a sad sigh, her eyes dropping to her feet. Santana heard it and immediately assumed that she had done something wrong. She was just about to apologize when Brittany spoke up. "Some things happened and I decided to give it up." She sighed again. "It's complicated."

Santana nodded, not wanting to push the matter. "Do you like your job at the diner?"

"It's not that bad." Brittany shrugged. "Some days are really boring and some are absolutely exhausting. I work with great people though so I don't really mind. I just do what I got to do to stay above water."

"But it doesn't make you happy." Santana concluded. Brittany didn't say anything so she continued. "What _does_ make you happy?"

Brittany took a moment to think this over. She hadn't danced seriously since the accident and she had sworn to never do so again. The truth was, however, that dance was the only thing she had ever been passionate about, even with the painful memories that it brought her now. She chewed on her bottom lip and then softly said, "Dance."

"Then why isn't that what you're doing?" Santana asked carefully. "I know that it's a hard industry but you can make it if you really fight for it. You're an amazing person and you deserve to be happy. If dance is-…"

"Stop it." Brittany interrupted her harshly. She abruptly stopped walking and ripped her hand out of the brunette's grasp. "You don't know anything about me."

Santana looked at her with shock written all over her features. Blue eyes were filled with an emotion she had never seen before and she didn't know what to think. She was silent for a few seconds before she found her voice again. "You're right. But I want to get to know you, Brittany. Isn't that what this is all about?"

Brittany stared at her for a second and her demeanor slowly softened. She inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry, Santana. I shouldn't have snapped at you like that."

"You're right, you shouldn't have." Santana told her. Guilt flickered in Brittany's eyes and she lowered her gaze to where her hands were nervously tugging at her shirt. A small frown settled on Santana's forehead, she didn't understand how Brittany could go from acting defensive to looking vulnerable in a matter of seconds. She was a complete mystery at times but Santana wasn't going to let that stop her. "It's okay though. Let's just forget about it."

Brittany's eyes hesitantly met hers. "I hope I haven't ruined our date."

"You haven't." Santana reassured her with a small smile. She offered her hand and Brittany took it. They resumed their walk and Brittany was relieved that there was no awkward tension between them. When they reached the car, Santana quickly ran to the passenger's side to hold the door open for Brittany. "There you go."

"Thank you." Brittany smiled as she got inside.

The drive back passed way too quickly for Brittany's liking and before she knew it, Santana pulled up in front of her apartment. She fiddled with her fingers in her lap as she thought of what to do next. She hated how inexperienced she was when it came to dating but somehow Santana made her feel comfortable without really doing much. It made her feel somewhat confident.

"Thanks for tonight." She said softly. "I had a great time."

"I'm glad you agreed to go out with me." Santana replied, turning in her seat to face her.

"Me too." Brittany swallowed thickly. Her hands were starting to feel clammy again. "Can I- Do you maybe want to go out for coffee sometime soon?"

The beaming smile that Santana sent her was all the reassurance she needed. "Yeah, sure."

"Cool. I'll text you." Brittany said somewhat awkwardly. She unbuckled her seatbelt and opened the door. She sent Santana one last smile as she climbed out of the car. "Okay, bye."

"Wait." Santana called as she quickly got out of the car as well. "Let me at least walk you to the door."

Brittany stopped walking and waited until Santana had caught up with her. They walked to the door in silence and Brittany couldn't help but feel nervous. They came to a halt and Brittany had no idea what to do next. Luckily, she didn't have to think about it for too long because Santana leaned in and planted a soft kiss on her cheek. "Good night, Brittany."

Brittany's whole face flushed and butterflies erupted in her stomach. Her eyes fluttered shut and she reached up to touch the spot that Santana had just kissed. By the time she returned to Earth, Santana was already out of sight. She sighed happily and made her way inside her apartment.

She kicked off her shoes and walked into her bedroom. She sent Noah a text informing him that the date had gone well. It took him less than three seconds to reply, telling her that he was glad to hear that. She put her phone away and decided to take a quick shower before bed.

When she emerged from the bathroom ten minutes later, she quickly changed into a sleep shirt and a pair of sweatpants and sat down on the edge of her bed. She jumped a little when her phone suddenly rang. Her mom's name flashed across the screen and she answered it. "Hi mom."

"Hoi, lieverd _(Hi, sweetie)_." Her mom greeted her in Dutch. "We haven't spoken in a while so I thought I'd call you. Is this a bad time?"

"No, it's fine." Brittany told her. It had indeed been a while since she had last contacted her parents. She loved them to death but they could be a little too protective at times, especially after the accident, and she hated being told how to live her life. "What's up?"

"I just called to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine. You know, the usual. I've been busy with work mostly."

"Your dad and I miss you, Britt." Came the sad reply. "Do you think you'll be able to make it home anytime soon?"

Brittany hated how her mom could make her feel guilty so easily. She sighed. "I don't know, mom. I doubt that I'll be able to get out of work for longer than a weekend and the long bus ride isn't really worth that."

"It's only a couple of hours by plane." Susan said in a hopeful tone. "Your dad and I can pay for your ticket."

A wave of panic washed over Brittany at the suggestion. She nervously rubbed her hand up and down her thigh where her scars were hidden underneath her clothing. "I-I can't- You know that I can't." She replied shakily.

Her mom sighed. "Maybe it would be good for you, Britt."

"I don't want to!" Brittany snapped. "I can't believe you'd even suggest that after…" She trailed off and closed her eyes, willing the images to leave her mind. Her stomach clenched painfully and her breathing sped up. "I can't." She whispered again.

"Okay, it's alright." Susan soothed, sensing that her daughter was getting herself worked up. Brittany let out a shuddering breath and listened as her mom exchanged a few words with whom she assumed was her dad. Finally, the older woman spoke into the phone again. "I'm sorry, honey. I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's okay." Brittany said quietly. "I know you were just trying to help."

"Maybe your dad and I can fly out to see you when we have time. We can stay at a hotel or something. We'll discuss it another time, okay?"

"Yeah, sure." Brittany mumbled tiredly.

"So what else has been keeping you busy?" Her mom tried to steer the conversation in a lighter direction.

Brittany perked up at the thought of Santana. She wasn't sure if she should tell her mom about her, considering how nosy she could be, but her excitement won. "I just came home from a date." She blurted out.

"Oh how exciting! What's her name?"

A dopey smile spread across Brittany's face. "Santana. I met her when she was eating at Joey's."

"That's lovely." Susan said, smiling at how happy her daughter sounded. "When can we meet her?"

"Mom!" Brittany's eyes widened in horror. "We've only been on one date."

"I was just kidding, honey." Her mom laughed. She was silent for a moment and then continued in a more serious tone. "I'm happy to hear that you're dating again but please be careful."

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"I just don't want you to get hurt. Don't you think that you should be focusing on yourself right now? I spoke with Noah the other day and maybe you should reconsider talking to a professional."

Brittany frowned. "Noah called you?"

A pause. "Yes and before you get mad, know that he was just looking out for you. He's worried about you, Brittany. So are your dad and I."

Brittany clenched her jaw and exhaled sharply through her nose. "Don't be." She said as calmly as possible. "I promise that I'm fine. I can take care of myself." Her mom tried to say something but Brittany cut her off. "I should really go now. I have an early shift tomorrow."

"Britt-" Susan tried again but was once again interrupted by Brittany.

"Good night, mom."

With that, she ended the call and slammed her phone down on the bed. She rubbed a shaky hand over her face and let out a heavy sigh. Her heart was still hammering against her ribcage and she just sat there for a while, eyes squeezed shut, trying to clear her mind.

She opened her eyes again and grabbed the tube of ointment that was waiting for her in the drawer. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to throw it across the room but she knew it wouldn't make a difference. She would still wake up in the morning covered in horrible scars that made her feel disgusting.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: _Thanks for the reviews guys! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. This chapter get a little intense towards to middle.

To the guest who asked me if I'm planning on writing a Quinntana story, sorry but no. I'm not a big fan of that pairing. I don't really ship Brittany and Santana with anyone but each other. I'm glad you like my work though so thank you.

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't owe Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 4.**

Brittany was walking down the street after a long day of work. It was Tuesday and she would be meeting up with Santana for coffee as promised. There was a cold breeze blowing, making her shiver and turning her hair into a tangled mess. It was a rainy day and clouds hung over the sky. She glanced at her watch and grimaced when she realized that she was running late.

She arrived at the small coffee shop and looked around for Santana. Dark hair instantly caught her eye and a small smile crept onto her face. She took a deep breath and slowly walked up to Santana. Her palms were getting sweaty as nerves bubbled up inside of her like always.

"Hi, San." She said softly, the nickname easily falling from her lips.

Santana looked up and smiled widely, causing her dimples to show. Brittany's knees felt weak at the sight. Santana stood up to give Brittany a warm hug and Brittany couldn't help but inhale her sweet scent, feeling the resulting tingles travel all the way down her spine.

"I'm sorry for being late." The blonde apologized once they were both seated.

"Don't worry about it." Santana assured her. She pushed a cup of coffee that Brittany hadn't noticed before in her direction. "I hope you don't mind but I ordered already."

"That's sweet of you but I wanted to pay." Brittany pouted.

"You can pay the next time." Santana said, shooting her a playful wink.

Brittany nodded and took a sip from her coffee. "Vanilla caramel latte. My favorite. How did you know?"

"A lucky guess." Santana shrugged. She leaned back in her chair while holding her own cup between her hands, a calm smile gracing her features. "How was work?"

"It was alright. There was this one annoying guy who kept sending his food back because it wasn't satisfactory. Joey's is a diner, not a fancy restaurant."

"Do you often get rude customers?"

"Every now and then." Brittany told her. "Sometimes it's hard to stay friendly but counting to ten in your head helps."

"I admire your patience. I would probably punch someone in the face on my first day." Santana said, causing Brittany to laugh.

And just like that, she had made all Brittany's nerves disappear. They chatted for hours about all kinds of things. It felt like almost no time had passed but when Santana looked down at her watch, she was sad to see that it was getting late. It was only then that she noticed that there weren't many people around them anymore.

"Can I maybe give you a ride home?" She asked as they gathered their things.

"That would be great." Brittany said gratefully.

She followed Santana to her car and got into the passenger's seat as Santana climbed into the driver's seat. They chatted and laughed as Santana drove. They pulled up in front of Brittany's apartment complex a few minutes later and Brittany smiled shyly. "Thanks for the ride. Can we meet up again soon?"

Santana nodded and leaned over to give her a hug that probably lasted a little longer than usual hugs. They parted and she smiled, "Text me later."

"I will." Brittany said as she got out of the car. Santana followed her with her eyes and waited until she was safely inside before driving away.

* * *

The next couple of weeks flew by. They spent as much time together as possible, had gone on a few other dates and texted each other almost non-stop.

It was a Thursday night now and Santana was sitting at her desk, furiously typing away on her laptop. The article that she was working on had been going pretty well so far but she was stuck on one paragraph. She sighed in frustration and didn't even hesitate before getting up and grabbing her coat. She knew what the cure to writer's block was by now.

It was raining outside and she shamelessly cursed under her breath as she hurriedly made her way down the streets. Luckily, Joey's wasn't far from her apartment so she arrived there in no time. She walked through the door and smiled at Tina who was standing behind the counter. She was slowly becoming friends with the girl now that she was dating Brittany.

She unconsciously stopped walking when she realized what she was thinking. Were her and Brittany dating? She liked to think that they were but they hadn't discussed it yet. To be honest, she was a little nervous to ask Brittany about it. She had never liked anyone as much as she liked Brittany and she just wanted to do things right.

"Santana, why are you just standing there?" Tina's voice caught her attention.

She blinked a few times and shot Tina a sheepish smile as she resumed her walk. She shrugged off her coat and sat down on her usual stool. "It's quiet in here."

"Yeah, probably because of the weather." Tina said. She held up a pot of coffee and Santana nodded gratefully. "Are you having writer's block again?"

Santana took a sip from her coffee before answering. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"You never come in here to write when Brittany isn't present unless you have writer's block." Tina replied as if it was obvious. Santana looked a little embarrassed and she chuckled. "It's okay. It's cute."

"Yeah, whatever." Santana rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "Her shift starts in an hour, right?"

"Brittany's?"

"No, my mom's." She muttered sarcastically.

"Your mom works here? What's her name?"

Santana set her cup down and narrowed her eyes. "You're not funny, Tina."

"I totally am." Tina said, earning a glare from Santana. She sighed dramatically. "Fine. Yes, her shift starts in an hour."

"Thank you so much." Santana said in an exaggeratingly sweet voice. She reached down to pull her laptop out of her bag and got to work. Most people found it hard to concentrate with a lot of background noises but it actually helped Santana. She had no idea why.

Half an hour later, a guy suddenly sat down next to her. He was tall and had dark hair. It turned out that Tina knew him because she greeted him enthusiastically. "Hey, Noah. I haven't seen you in forever."

"I know. Did you miss me?"

"Always."

Noah smiled and took off his leather jacket. "Where's Brittany?"

"Girl's popular tonight. Her shift is supposed to be starting in thirty minutes so she should be here soon." Tina informed him. She caught Santana's questioning glance. "Oh, Santana this is Noah. Brittany's other best friend."

Santana nodded in understanding. "Hi."

"It's nice to finally meet the famous Santana." Noah said with a smirk. Santana arched a questioning eyebrow at him and he chuckled. "Brittany has told me all about you. Don't worry, all good things."

Santana couldn't help but smile at this piece of information. "Well, the feelings are mutual."

"So, what are you doing here?" Tina asked.

"I was walking home and it started pouring so I came inside to warm up." Noah explained. "Besides, I'm hungry. Can I have a burger and fries?"

"Of course." Tina scribbled the order down and walked to the kitchen to drop it off. She returned less than a minute later and gestured to the pot of coffee. "Do you want some?"

Noah nodded. "Sure."

They fell into a comfortable silence after that. Noah sipped his coffee as he waited for his food while Santana typed away on her laptop. Another fifteen minutes passed and there was still no sign of Brittany. Santana figured that she must be running late. A sudden roar of thunder startled her and she jumped in her seat, clutching her heart. "Jesus."

"Chicks call me that sometimes." Noah smirked but there was a glint of something else in his eyes. Another loud clap of thunder sounded and his features slowly twisted into a concerned expression. He looked at Tina who seemed equally as worried. "Have you heard from Brittany?"

Tina slowly shook her head. "No, nothing."

"Shit." Noah muttered under his breath. He fished his phone out of his pocket and tried calling her but she didn't pick up. He sighed and brushed his hand through his hair as he tried to gather his thoughts. "What should we do?"

Tina looked conflicted. "I don't know." A deafening roll of thunder echoed throughout the diner and Tina suddenly looked determined. "She shouldn't be alone, that's for sure."

Santana watched the exchange with a furrowed brow, utterly confused. "What the hell is going on?" She demanded.

Noah ignored her. "Can you leave for a bit?" His voice sounded urgent.

Tina bit her lip and quickly walked up to another waitress. She exchanged a few words with her before returning to them. "Let's go." She said as she threw off her apron.

Noah was already halfway out the door and Tina quickly caught up with him. Santana hurriedly shoved her laptop in her bag and followed them into the rain. "Hey!" She snapped angrily. "Will someone tell me what's happening?"

"Go home, Santana." Noah said as Tina unlocked the door of her car. "She'll call you when she can."

"Don't tell me what to do, asshole." Santana growled in a low voice. She cut off his path by stepping in front of him and shoved a finger into his chest. "I have the right to know what's going on with my almost-girlfriend."

Noah looked annoyed but finally gave in. "Fine. Get in the car."

Santana didn't need to be told twice. She barely had time to close the door behind her when Tina sped off towards Brittany's apartment. The drive was completely silent. The looks on Noah and Tina's faces unsettled Santana and she couldn't stop fidgeting in her seat. The car abruptly came to a stop and they all jumped out. The thunder was still rolling and it was pitch black outside except for the occasional flashes of lightning.

Santana followed Tina and Noah as they ran into Brittany's apartment building and down the corridor. She watched impatiently as Noah fumbled with the keys before Tina took them from his shaking hands and unlocked the door.

"Britt?" Noah called out as they walked inside. "Are you here?"

It was then that Santana realized that this was the first time that she was in Brittany's home. She quickly scanned the place. Brittany's bag was lying on the couch, there was a plate of half-eaten dinner standing on the coffee table and the TV was still on. She watched with curious eyes as Noah and Tina immediately walked towards what she assumed was the bedroom and quickly followed them. She hated not knowing what was going on. It made her feel like some random bystander.

Noah frantically looked around the dark room. "Brittany?"

A small whimper sounded and Santana's breath hitched in her throat at the sight that met her gaze. Brittany was curled up into a tiny ball on the floor next to the bed, shaking uncontrollably. Santana tried to inch closer but Tina stopped her and spoke in a stern but gentle voice. "I know that you're worried, Santana. But she really needs Noah right now."

Santana swallowed thickly and nodded. The brunette followed Noah with her eyes as he knelt down in front of Brittany. She had her hands over her ears, her eyes were squeezed shut and the sound of her rapid breathing could be heard over Noah's words of comfort.

"Brittany." He spoke softly. Brittany didn't respond and curled further into herself, rocking back and forth. Noah reached out and lightly rested his hand on her shoulder but Brittany flinched and scrambled backwards.

"You're okay, baby girl." Noah tried a second time. He carefully reached out again and covered one of Brittany's hands with his own. He gave it a gentle squeeze when she struggled against his grip. "It's okay."

Santana's heart clenched in her chest when she caught sight of the tear streaks on Brittany's cheeks. It pained her that she wasn't able to do anything. She knew that it was better to let Noah handle the situation since he had a better understanding of what was happening. Her eyes met Tina's and she could see the sadness in them.

Brittany breathed out sharply through her nose and shook her head, burying her face deeper into her knees. Noah finally managed to pry her hands loose, receiving a weak whimper in response. He gently ran his hand through her hair, letting it come to a rest at the nape of her neck. "Britt, listen to me. You're safe. Everything's okay."

He could feel the trembling of Brittany's limbs as she began rocking more violently. He gently ran his hand up and down her back, urging himself to stay calm for her sake. "You need to breathe, baby girl." He ducked his head down to whisper into her ear. "In and out."

Brittany coughed and slightly lifted her head, struggling against Noah's hold. "I-I… c-can't…" She wheezed out a reply. Another loud clap of thunder shook the room and she whimpered, scooting closer to the wall and banging her head against it with a painful thud. "M-make it s-stop."

"No, no, Britt." Noah pleaded, tightening his hold on her. "You need to breathe. Focus on your breathing." He brushed the hair away from her face and pressed his lips to the shell of her ear as he spoke in a low, gentle voice. "Follow my lead, okay?" He grabbed her hand and placed it on his chest, exaggerating his breaths. "Just like that. Can you do that for me?"

Tears threatened to escape Santana's eyes as Brittany continued to struggle. She had no idea what was happening and she was terrified. Tina seemed to sense this because she grabbed her hand and gave it a soft squeeze, trying to calm her.

After a few agonizing moments, Brittany finally inhaled, sucking in a trembling lungful of air. She blinked heavily at the painful feeling that came with it, tears still freely sliding down her cheeks. Noah sighed in relief and pulled her head to his chest. "That's it, baby girl." He cooed, holding her close as she trembled violently from exertion. "It's okay."

Brittany fisted her hands in his shirt and pressed her face into his shoulder. "Noah?"

"I'm right here." He whispered into her hair. "You're okay."

Brittany slowly breathed in and out. "I'm scared." She whispered shakily. "Make it stop, please."

Noah felt his heart break at how broken and lost her voice sounded. "Try to think of something else." He said softly, rubbing soothing circles on her back. "You're safe, Britt. I swear." He pulled back a little and gently ran the back of his hand over the clammy skin of her forehead. "Is it okay if I move you now?"

Brittany gave him a small nod in reply. She was seemingly unaware of Santana's presence who was watching her with wide eyes. Noah lifted her up in his arms and put her down on the bed. He sat down behind her and locked his arms around her trembling frame. It was still thundering outside but it was becoming quieter and less frequent. "It's almost over." He whispered.

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat and took a hesitant step forwards. "Britt?"

Brittany's scared eyes snapped up to meet hers and they widened considerably, her whole face flushing red. Her stomach churned uncomfortably and she felt cold sweat begin to trickle down her back. It felt like heart was going to explode in her chest as panic began to rise within her. She stared at Santana in shock for a moment and then turned her head, burying it in Noah's chest.

"It's okay, Britt." Santana said, trying to keep her voice steady but failing miserably. She took another step forwards but Brittany frantically shook her head, refusing to meet her eyes. "Brittany…"

"Maybe you should go." Tina said softly from behind her. "She's really shaken up right now and she needs to rest."

"But I- She-…" Santana stammered. She paused and took a deep breath. "What just happened?"

Noah gently rocked Brittany from side to side when he felt her tense up. She pressed her lips tightly together and whined softly, shaking her head again. Noah looked at Santana, his eyes filled with a storm of emotions. "I'm sorry Santana but it's not our place to tell you. Tina is right, maybe you should go."

"Let Brittany decide that for herself." Santana said firmly. Noah contemplated this for a moment but then nodded his head in approval. She returned the nod and focused her attention on Brittany again, trying to make eye-contact to no avail. "Britt, do you want me to stay?"

Her brow creased in a painful frown when Brittany remained silent. She stood there for a long time, waiting for some kind of response, and then finally let her shoulders droop in defeat. "Fine." She mumbled as she turned around to leave the room. She glanced over her shoulder once more and eyed Brittany worriedly. "I'll call you tomorrow, Britt."

Brittany vaguely heard the front door slam shut. She felt the bed dip next to her with additional weight and a hand gently smooth back her hair. "I'll call Joey." Tina said softly, the words more directed to Noah than to Brittany.

Brittany didn't hear Noah's response. Her eyes were beginning to droop as the earlier events caught up with her. She tried to fight it but it wasn't long before sleep overcame her.

* * *

Santana shivered as she walked through the cold night air. The image of Brittany's tear stained face was burned into her mind and she didn't think she'd be able to get any sleep tonight. Seeing Brittany so scared had been heartbreaking and she had wanted nothing more than to push Noah aside and hold her in her arms. Being shut out hurt a lot more than she liked to admit.

Without really thinking about it, she ended up outside of Quinn's apartment. She paused to wipe away the moisture that had gathered under her eyes and then raised a shaking hand to knock on the door. Quinn appeared a few minutes later.

"Santana?" She asked in surprise. "What are you doing here? Do you realize how late it is?"

Santana had lost track of time so she had no idea. She opened and closed her mouth a few times but no words came out. Quinn's eyebrows pinched together in concern and she held the door open wider, gesturing for Santana to come inside. Santana walked past her and into the living room where she dropped her bag and slouched down on the couch.

"I need a drink." She mumbled, finally finding her voice again.

Quinn just nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. She returned with two glasses of wine and handed one to Santana. "What in the world happened?" She asked as she joined her on the couch.

"Honestly? I don't know." Santana answered the question truthfully.

Quinn carefully studied her friend's face. It was obvious by the redness of her eyes that she had been crying. Realization suddenly hit her. "Did something happen with Brittany?"

Santana sniffled and slowly nodded her head. Quinn waited patiently for her to start explaining. Santana was silent for a long time, having no idea where to start. Finally, she began to tell Quinn about everything that had happened. Starting with how she had gone to Joey's as a result of writer's block and ending with how she had gone to Brittany's apartment with Tina and Noah.

"It looked like she was having a panic attack." Santana said, feeling a shiver run down her spine. "It was so scary."

Quinn took a moment to process everything she had just been told. "Do you know what caused it?" She asked.

"Tina and Noah began freaking out when the thunder started." Santana replied, taking a sip from her wine. She let out a shuddering breath. "Brittany kept asking Noah to make it stop."

Quinn pursed her lips in thought. "Maybe she's just really afraid of thunderstorms."

"Obviously." Santana said, trying to sound sarcastic but not quite succeeding as her voice was barely above a whisper. "There is more to it though. I know it." She sighed and looked down at her hands. "She didn't want me to stay."

"She wasn't thinking clearly so don't feel too bad." Quinn said, placing a comforting hand on her arm. "And besides that, she was probably embarrassed. This is something that she obviously didn't want you to know yet."

Santana knew that Quinn was just trying to make her feel better but it wasn't working at all. She drained her glass of wine and remained silent. She suddenly pulled her phone out of pocket and Quinn shot her a questioning look. "What are you doing?"

"Calling Britt." Santana said.

Quinn sighed and curled her fingers around Santana's wrist, gently prying the phone away from her with her other hand. "I don't think that's a good idea right now, honey."

"But I need to talk to her!" Santana protested. "I need to make sure that she's alright."

"Noah and Tina are with her." Quinn told her calmly. "She's probably asleep right now."

Santana stared at her for a second and then slumped further into her seat. "You're right."

"Why don't you stay here tonight? You can sleep in the guestroom." Quinn suggested. "I don't want you to walk home this late when you're so upset." Santana thought about it for a moment and then nodded her head once. Quinn smiled. "Try to get some rest. You look exhausted."

"Okay." Santana mumbled, slowly pulling herself upright. She leaned in to give Quinn a hug. "Thanks, Q."

"Anytime, S."

* * *

The first thing Brittany registered when she woke up was the pounding in her head. She blearily cracked her eyes open and blinked a few times, trying to make the blurriness go away. She licked her dry lips and slowly pulled herself into a seated position. Memories of last night started flooding her mind and her heart began to pound in her chest.

She slowly got to her feet and began to make her way towards the living room. Hushed voices could be heard and she stopped walking, carefully poking her head around the door. Noah and Tina were standing there, appearing to be in a discussion. Brittany frowned when she caught the last part of Noah's sentence.

"…Can't go on like this."

"What are you saying?" Tina asked in a sharp whisper. "We can't force her to do something that she doesn't want to do, Noah."

Noah sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. "Well, talking to her won't work. I already tried that. She claims that she doesn't need help."

Brittany clenched her jaw once she realized what they were talking about. She decided to make her presence known and stepped into the room. She cleared her throat. "You can stop talking about me behind my back now."

Their eyes snapped in her direction and a flicker of guilt washed over Tina's face. "We are just worried about you, Britt. Can you blame us after what happened last night?"

Brittany lowered her head in shame and shifted from foot to foot. "I'm fine." She said, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I promise."

"What would've happened if we hadn't shown up?" Noah asked in frustration. "You couldn't breathe, Brittany!"

Brittany lifted her head to meet his dark eyes. "Don't you think I know that?" She yelled angrily. Noah looked at her in shock and she instantly felt bad. She paused to take a deep breath and continued in a softer tone. "I'm sorry."

Noah sighed and took a step in her direction. "Look, Brittany, I understand that it's hard but you can't keep everything bottled up inside. Talk to me, to your parents, to _someone_… That's what _she_ would've wanted."

"Don't." Brittany growled, shooting him a warning look.

"We just want to help you." Noah went on. "You scared us last night. Santana most of all."

Brittany's mouth went dry and her palms became sweaty at the mention of Santana's name. "You shouldn't have brought her here." She said in a low voice. "You… you ruined everything!"

Noah's brow furrowed. "You're going to have to tell her at some point, Brittany."

"No, I don't." Brittany mumbled. She closed her eyes and raised her hands to massage her temples. She could practically feel the veins throb as they drummed against her skull. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I have a headache and you're making it worse."

"Fine." Noah reluctantly agreed. "You should eat something."

Brittany sighed in relief and dragged herself into the kitchen. Tina followed her and guided her to a stool, sitting her down. "I'll make you something." She said before she turned around to grab some things. A glass of water was placed in front of Brittany a few seconds later and some Tylenol was handed to her. "For your headache."

"Thanks." Brittany said, giving her a small smile.

"I have to be at work in an hour so I should go." Noah announced. He came up behind Brittany and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Will you be alright?"

"I'll be fine." Brittany assured him.

Noah hesitated for a moment but then nodded and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll call you later. Take care of yourself." He turned to walk away but Brittany stopped him by grabbing his arm. He shot her a confused look. "What is it?"

Brittany noticed the dark circles under his eyes and her heart twisted in guilt. She bit her lip. "Thanks for last night."

Noah just nodded sadly. He said goodbye to Tina and with that he was out the door. Brittany sighed heavily and buried her face in her hands, wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep and hide from reality for as long as she could.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: _Thanks for all the reviews. :)

* * *

**Chapter 5.**

Brittany was so embarrassed about what happened that she did everything within her power to avoid Santana in the following days. She ignored her phone calls and hid in the back whenever Santana showed up at Joey's, making Tina tell her that she wasn't there. It made her feel guilty but she was convinced that Santana wouldn't want to be around her anymore once she knew everything and she wasn't ready to lose her yet.

"Can't you see that ignoring her is what will drive her away?" Tina asked her about an hour into her shift that day.

Brittany turned away from her and started to rinse out some glasses, trying to distract herself. "She probably has questions. This way I don't have to tell her anything and she won't want to stop seeing me." She said in a calm voice.

Deep down she knew that what she was doing made no sense at all.

"Who says that'll happen?" Tina asked in frustration. She walked closer to Brittany and placed a hand on her shoulder, urging her to look up. Brittany hesitantly did so, meeting sad, brown eyes. "What will it take for you to see that you're beautiful?"

Brittany swallowed the lump in her throat and blinked away the tears there were pricking in her eyes. She didn't want to cry in front of Tina. She turned her head away once again and stonily stared ahead. "Just leave me alone." She said, her voice wavering slightly.

Tina sighed sadly and dropped her hand. Brittany could feel her eyes burn holes into the side of her head but she ignored it. She knew from the beginning that she was going to have to tell Santana about her accident at some point but she didn't know that it would be this soon. She wasn't ready yet.

The rest of the day passed in a blur. Brittany's shift ended at the same time as Tina's. A wave of jealousy crashed through her when Mike came to pick Tina up. They looked so happy together and she couldn't help but want that too. Her thoughts wandered off to Santana for the millionth time that day and her jealousy was replaced with sadness. She didn't think that she had the right to feel that way though, not when _she_ was the one distancing herself from the person who had finally brought some happiness into her life again.

When she arrived home, she changed into some comfortable clothes and immediately crawled into bed. She didn't have the energy to do anything besides sleeping. Especially since she had to work another shift in the morning. She figured that maybe things would be better by then. Who was she kidding though.

* * *

Santana wasn't in a good state. She hadn't heard from Brittany in days and it was slowly driving her crazy. All her calls went straight to voicemail and every text she sent remained unanswered. She didn't know why Brittany was avoiding her. It obviously had something to do with what happened during the thunderstorm and she wished that Brittany would just talk to her about it.

She groaned when she faintly heard a knock on the door and buried her face further into her pillow. A few seconds passed before the sound repeated itself and Santana sighed in frustration. She threw the covers off herself and climbed out of bed.

"Damn, you look like shit." Quinn said after Santana had opened the door. Santana shot her a glare and wordlessly moved into the living room. Quinn closed the door and followed her. "I'm assuming you still haven't heard anything from Brittany?"

Santana plopped down on the couch, grabbed the remote control of the TV and started to flip through the channels. "No, she's still ignoring me." She mumbled in frustration, brushing a hand through her messy hair in an attempt to smooth it down.

"I'm sorry, S." Quinn said softly as she sat down in the armchair.

Santana decided that the sound of the TV irritated her so she turned it off. "I just don't know what I did wrong." She said, crossing her arms over her chest. "How am I supposed to fix things when she won't even talk to me?"

"I can't believe this." Quinn frowned in disapproval. "What a bitch."

Santana whipped her head around in Quinn's direction and narrowed her eyes. "Don't call her that." She snapped angrily. "You know nothing about her, Fabray. She's the sweetest person I've ever known so shut your mouth."

"Whoa, calm down." Quinn raised her hands in defense. "All I know is that she's the reason behind the depressing look on your face right now. You're my best friend and it's my duty to protect you from getting hurt." She paused and then added. "Do you want me to kick her ass?"

Santana rolled her eyes, a small smile tugging at the corners of her lips. "I can take care of myself just fine, thank you."

"Alright then." Quinn muttered. She rubbed her hands together and tilted her head in thought, taking in Santana's rough appearance. "You need to talk to her." Santana shot her another glare so she quickly continued. "Have you tried stopping by at Joey's?"

"Of course I have." Santana told her in an annoyed voice. "I know that she always goes to hide in the back when I walk in. I'm not an idiot." She huffed loudly, pouting as she pointedly stared at her feet. "It's painfully obvious that she's avoiding me."

Quinn sighed and moved to sit next to her. "Since when do you give up this easily?" She asked as she placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "There's got to be another way."

"I miss her." Santana whined pathetically. "I don't know what to do."

Quinn smiled a little and patted her shoulder. "Sure you do. Have you gone to her apartment yet?"

Santana pursed her lips and slowly shook her head. "I don't think she wants me there."

"You two are unbelievable." Quinn exclaimed. "This is all so dramatic and you're not even officially together yet." She shook her head in disbelief. "Get your ass off this couch right now, Santana Lopez, and go talk to your girl."

"Shut up." Santana mumbled. She knew that Quinn was right though. She didn't want to push Brittany into talking since that was obviously the last thing that the blonde wanted but she couldn't just sit around and do nothing. "You know what?"

"What?"

"You're right." Santana said, suddenly jumping to her feet. "I'm not going to stand by and let her ignore me for a minute longer. I really, really like her but how are things ever going to work between us when we're already having trouble communicating now?"

Quinn nodded her head in approval. "That's the Santana that I know."

Santana quickly slipped on her shoes and gathered her things. She rushed out the door but then realized that Quinn was still there. She poked her head back inside and smiled sheepishly. "You can show yourself out, right?"

"Sure." Quinn chuckled.

Santana who was already halfway out the door barely managed to hear her. She felt more determined than she had in days. It had only been a little over a month since she had first met Brittany but it felt a lot longer than that. There was just something about her that drew Santana in and she could never just give up.

* * *

Santana's breathing had sped up considerably by the time she reached Brittany's apartment. She forced herself not to overthink things too much and only hesitated for a second before she knocked on the door. A long time passed and Santana was beginning to think that Brittany wasn't home. She was just about to walk away when she heard some shuffling and the click of the door unlocking.

It cracked open and a tired looking Brittany was revealed. It looked like had just woken up. Santana blamed Quinn for dragging her out of bed this early. Brittany's hair was all tousled, there were dark circles under her eyes and she was dressed in an oversized t-shirt and baggy sweatpants. She sleepily rubbed her eyes. "Santana?"

Santana smiled widely at how cute she looked but her smile disappeared when she remembered why she was there. "Hi, Britt." She said in a calm voice. "Can I come in?"

Brittany instantly looked more alert. She nervously began to chew on her bottom lip as her eyes darted around Santana's face. Finally, she tried to stutter out a reply. "I-I'm not…"

"Please?" Santana added with pleading eyes.

Brittany looked hesitant. She glanced over her shoulder into her apartment and then back at Santana. A soft sigh escaped her lips and she nodded. "Okay."

"Thanks." Santana said as she stepped inside. Brittany closed the door and turned to look at Santana with uncertain eyes, waiting for her to say something. Santana offered her a small smile. "I was wondering if we could talk."

Brittany worried her bottom lip between her teeth and looked down at her hands as they nervously twisted together. "Okay. Do you want to sit down?"

Santana nodded and followed Brittany into the living room. She sat down on the couch and watched as Brittany took a seat on the opposite end, looking awkward and uncomfortable in her own home. Santana took a deep breath in preparation and finally broke the silence. "How have you been?"

"Fine." Brittany answered softly, her eyes flickering up to meet Santana's warm brown ones. "You?"

"Me too." Santana said in an equally soft tone. Silence fell over the room once more and Santana couldn't stand it. It became clear that Brittany wasn't going to say anything so she decided to just ask what had been on her mind for days. "What happened a few nights ago, Britt?"

An almost scared look crossed Brittany's features and she turned her face away, staring down at her hands. Her shoulders slumped forward and it was then that Santana noticed how truly exhausted she really looked. The brunette moved closer to her and carefully reached out to place a hand on her arm. "You can tell me anything. I won't judge you."

Brittany shifted away from her and sucked in a shaky breath, her hands starting to tremble slightly where they were still placed in her lap. "I can't tell you, Santana. I'm sorry." She whispered.

Silently, Santana brushed the hair out of Brittany's face, stroking her cheek with the back of her hand in one fluid movement. "Why not?" She asked gently, dipping her head down to meet Brittany's gaze. "You can trust me."

Brittany's eyes shimmered with tears, her bottom lip quivering. Her face was clouded with pain and sadness and it nearly shattered Santana's heart. Drawing in another shaky breath, Brittany spoke, her voice trembling. "I just can't. Not yet."

Santana stared into Brittany's blue eyes. She didn't think she'd ever seen the girl look so vulnerable and young, so unlike herself. There were a million questions running through her mind but she pushed them away. She wanted to know the truth but she'd never force Brittany into something she wasn't ready for. Patience seemed like the best option right now.

"It's okay." She said, covering one of Brittany's hands with her own. "You don't have to. It can wait."

Brittany's eyebrows scrunched together, as if she couldn't believe what she had just heard. "Really?"

Santana nodded, her expression solemn.

It looked like a huge weight had been lifted off Brittany's shoulders and she breathed out a sigh of relief. "Thank you." She whispered, brushing impatiently at the few tears that had escaped her eyes. "I will tell you someday."

Santana nodded again, hearing that was enough for now. She gave Brittany's hand a soft squeeze. "Just promise me that you won't ever ignore me again. Not knowing where you were and if you were alright killed me."

Brittany sniffled and turned around, pulling her into a hug. "I'm sorry, San."

"It's okay." Santana assured her, wrapping her arms around her waist and pulling her closer. She briefly let her eyes flutter shut, soaking up the warmth of Brittany's slender frame. "Can I ask you something?"

Brittany pulled back and nodded. "Sure."

"Are we- are we dating?" She asked, her heart starting to pound a little faster.

Brittany's eyes brightened considerably and a smile started to form on her lips. "Do you want us to be?"

"Yes." Santana said confidently.

"Then I guess we are." Brittany said, her eyes crinkling at the corners as she smiled widely. She opened her mouth to say something else but then changed her mind at the last second. Santana gave her hand an encouraging squeeze and she ducked her head, blushing furiously before quietly asking, "Can I… can I kiss you?"

Santana's lips twitched into a smile and she reached out to place two fingers under Brittany's chin, tilting her face back in her direction. Slowly, she leaned in and nudged Brittany's nose with her own before closing the remaining distance between them. The kiss started off slow and hesitant, their lips barely touching, but after a few moments Brittany grew more confident, pressing her lips harder against Santana's as her hands came to rest on the brunette's hips. She felt a shiver run down her spine. This was a feeling of intensity that she had never experienced before and she let it wash over her, reveling in the unfamiliar sensation.

They pulled away and shared a shy smile. Santana stared into Brittany's deep blue eyes and whispered, "Wow."

"My sentiments exactly." Brittany said, smiling at the dazed expression on Santana's face. Silence fell over them as Brittany rubbed her thumbs in slow circles over Santana's hips, distractedly. "Are you busy tonight?"

Santana shook her head. "Not really. Why?"

"Do you maybe want to come over tonight and watch a movie or something? We can order pizza if you want to." Brittany asked shyly. "I wish we could hang out now but I have to be at work in less than an hour."

"I'd love to." Santana smiled.

They sat there for a little while longer, chatting about nothing in particular, before Brittany walked Santana to the door. The blonde wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a hug. "I'm glad you came here to talk." She said softly.

"Me too." Santana said as they parted. "Have a good day at work."

"Thank you." Brittany replied. "I'll text you later."

Santana flashed her one last smile and began to walk away. Brittany watched until she was out of sight before closing the door. She just stood there for a while with a huge grin on her face, replaying what had happened in her head. When she finally got herself to move again, she took a quick shower and got ready for work, Santana never once leaving her thoughts.

* * *

The rest of the day flew by and Brittany was currently waiting for Santana who could arrive any moment now. She dropped the warm pizza box on the table in front of the TV and let her eyes scan her apartment. Even now that her and Santana were officially dating, she still wanted things to be perfect. Satisfied, she quickly made her way into the bedroom to change her clothes.

Ten minutes later, there was a knock on the door and Brittany wiped her palms on her jeans as she walked across the room to open it. She sent Santana a warm smile and gestured for her to enter. "Hey, San."

"Hi, Britt." Santana returned the smile as she shrugged off her coat. Brittany took it from her and placed it over the back of a chair. "How was your day?"

"It was good." Brittany said, leading her into the living room. "Would you like to have something to drink? Water, wine, coffee, tea, juice, Dr. Pepper; I have everything." She paused for a split second before continuing on. "I stopped by a pizza place on the way home. I wasn't sure what kind of pizza you wanted so I got us cheese and pepperoni. I hope that's alright. If it's not, we can order something else."

"Whoa, slow down." Santana said with a light chuckle. She gently rubbed her hand up and down the blonde's arm, almost feeling the tension radiate off of her body. "Britt, are you nervous?"

Brittany took a calming breath. "I'm sorry. It's been awhile since I've last done this."

"I understand. It's been a while for me too." Santana said sympathetically. She leaned forward and pressed a light kiss to Brittany's lips, feeling her heart flutter in her chest at the contact. She didn't she'd ever grow tired of kissing Brittany. Pulling back, she smiled softly. "Just relax."

Brittany nodded. "Thanks. I needed that."

Santana squeezed her arm one last time before retracting her hand. "Wine sounds great."

"Okay. I'll be right back." Brittany said as she began to walk towards the kitchen. She glanced over her shoulder and added, "Make yourself at home."

Santana took this as an opportunity to let her eyes scan the place. This was the third time that she was at Brittany's apartment but she hadn't really had the chance to look around. It was small but in a cozy type of way. Everything was decorated in soft, warm earth tones and all the furniture looked comfortable. Santana picked up a silver picture frame from the dresser and examined the photograph. It was of Brittany and a brunette girl. They looked happy; huge smiles plastered on their faces.

"I hope you like red." Brittany's voice startled her. She looked up and nodded in confirmation. An unreadable expression flashed across Brittany's face when she noticed what Santana was looking at. She quickly placed the glasses of wine on the table and moved to stand next to her, taking the picture frame from her and brushing her fingers over the photograph before putting it down. "What movie do you want to watch?"

Santana's brow furrowed slightly. "Is she your friend?"

"Yeah." Brittany said, her voice cracking slightly. She cleared her throat and grabbed some DVD's, holding them up for Santana to see. "You pick."

Santana stared at her for a second and then pointed at a random movie that turned out to be some romantic comedy. She took a seat on the couch as Brittany put the DVD into the player before sitting down next to her. The blonde reached out to open the pizza box and handed Santana a plate with a slice on it. She smiled gratefully. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Brittany replied sweetly as she started the movie.

The two managed to finish off the pizza about twenty minutes later and soon found themselves sitting closer together. About halfway into the movie, their positions changed into more comfortable ones with Brittany's arm around Santana's waist as the brunette rested her head on her shoulder. Santana sighed contentedly, relishing in the warmth and safety she felt being in Brittany's arms.

"That was pretty good." Brittany commented after the movie had ended. When she didn't receive a response, she looked down and saw that Santana had fallen asleep. She smiled a little and brushed some rebellious strands of hair from Santana's face. Santana's eyes squeezed tighter at the touch before they slowly fluttered open. She looked confused for a second as she scanned her surroundings.

"Oh, did I fall asleep?" She asked groggily as she slowly pulled herself upright, stretching her arms over her head. Brittany nodded and she smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry."

"Don't worry about it." Brittany assured her.

"I should probably get going." Santana said somewhat reluctantly. "It's starting to get pretty late."

Brittany felt a wave of disappointment course through her body. Without thinking about it, she blurted out, "You can stay here." Her cheeks flushed red once she realized what she had said and she nervously began to fiddle with the hem of her shirt. "If you want to, of course."

"Okay." Santana agreed, smiling adoringly.

Brittany turned off the TV and they both stood up. They brought the dirty plates and glasses to the kitchen before heading into the bedroom. Brittany rummaged through her closet and grabbed some comfortable clothes for Santana to change into. Santana thanked her quietly and took them from her.

Brittany felt her heart begin to pound in her chest. She obviously hadn't thought this through very well. She couldn't change in front of Santana but Santana didn't seem to share that thought since she had already started to unbutton her jeans. Brittany rubbed her arm nervously as she tried to think of what to do.

"I-I'll just go change…" She trailed off and gestured over her shoulder. Santana nodded and Brittany awkwardly cleared her throat before heading into the bathroom.

Santana followed her with her eyes, wondering if she had done something to make her uncomfortable. She sighed and quickly continued to change. Brittany returned a few minutes later and Santana sent her a smile. "You sleep in sweatpants?"

"I get cold." Brittany mumbled, looking a little self-conscious. "There's a spare toothbrush laid out for you by the sink if you want to use it."

"Thanks." Santana replied.

Five minutes later they had both crawled into bed. Brittany was lying on her back, staring at the ceiling as she tried to keep herself from panicking. As much as she liked having Santana in her home, there was something important that she had forgotten to take into consideration; her nightmares. She had them quite frequently and really didn't want to have one with Santana sleeping next to her. She tried to take deep, calming breaths but her racing thoughts were making it difficult. Her stomach began to churn uncomfortably.

Brittany heard Santana move closer to her and a second later she felt an arm being draped around her waist. A soft kiss was pressed to her cheek and a question was whispered. "Is this okay?"

Brittany swallowed thickly and nodded, unable to find her voice.

Santana laid her head on Brittany's chest, her hand coming to rest on the blonde's clad stomach. Brittany exhaled slowly through her nose and began to comb her fingers through Santana's hair, trying to calm herself down. She was afraid that Santana was able to hear the racing of her heart but Santana didn't say anything.

Thirty minutes passed and Brittany was still staring at the ceiling, trying to fight off sleep. It became more and more difficult to keep her eyes open and she was starting to become really tired. She yawned and finally closed her eyes, listening to Santana's rhythmic breathing before slowly drifting off to sleep as well.

* * *

Brittany groaned as she slowly woke up. She forced her eyelids open and was instantly greeted by warm, brown eyes. She blinked a few times and glanced at the alarm clock on the bedside table, sighing in relief when she realized that she had slept through the night. Meeting Santana's gaze again, she smiled softly. "Hi."

"Hi." Santana echoed, tucking a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear. "I like waking up next to you."

"Me too." Brittany said, gazing deeply into Santana's eyes, almost getting lost in the depths of them. She slid her hand behind the brunette's neck and pulled her down, their lips meeting in a slow kiss. Brittany pulled away, resting her forehead against Santana's, their noses brushing together slightly. "I like waking up next to you _a lot_."

Santana smiled widely and leaned in to capture her lips in another kiss. She trailed her tongue over Brittany's bottom lip and Brittany shuddered from the feeling. The blonde angled her head to the side and deepened the kiss even more, slowly running her hands up and down Santana's back. Words couldn't describe how good it felt to be this close to Santana but there were still so many things holding her back. Santana must've sensed her reluctance because she broke the kiss.

"Is everything okay?"

Brittany smiled and stroked Santana's slightly flushed cheek with her knuckles. "We should probably slow down."

Santana nodded in agreement and pecked her lips one more time before rolling off her.

"Brittany?" Noah's voice suddenly sounded. The bedroom door swung open and his eyes widened in shock and surprise. "Oh shit! I'm sorry."

"Puckerman!" Brittany whined, her cheeks turning red with embarrassment. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I called you a few times but you didn't pick up so I came over to see if you were alright." Noah said sheepishly. He awkwardly looked around the room and then cocked his head to the side. "I'll, uh, wait outside."

He closed the door and Brittany let her head fall back onto the pillow with a sigh, her bottom lip jutting out into a frustrated pout. "I'm sorry, Santana."

"It's not a big deal, Britt." Santana chuckled softly. "I should probably head out anyway."

"Don't you want any breakfast?' Brittany asked shyly.

"No, thank you." Santana said as she climbed out of bed. "I have to be at the office today so I'll grab something on my way over there."

Ten minutes later, they had both finished getting ready and exited the bedroom. Noah was sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter, eating from a bowl of cereal he had helped himself to. He looked up and nodded a hello at Santana. Santana gave him a small smile and returned the nod. She followed Brittany to the door and they stepped outside.

Brittany leaned against the wall, looking at Santana who was standing in front of her. "I'm sorry about Noah just showing up out of nowhere. He does that sometimes." She said.

"I told you it's fine." Santana assured her again. "Luckily we weren't doing anything."

Brittany blushed and averted her gaze away from Santana's face. "Do you want me to walk you out?"

"No, that's alright." Santana smiled, zipping up her hoodie. Rising slightly on her toes, she pressed her lips softly against Brittany's. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Sounds good." Brittany said with a goofy grin. She watched as Santana began to walk away, giving her a small wave before she disappeared out of sight. Brittany stood there for a few moments longer, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in what seemed like forever.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" Noah asked when she walked back inside.

"Not really." Brittany said as she started to prepare herself a cup of coffee. Noah shot her a look so she rolled her eyes, barely able to suppress the wide grin that threatened to break out onto her face. "Fine, Santana and I are officially dating."

"That's awesome, Britt." Noah cheered, looking genuinely happy. "See, I told you that she wouldn't react badly."

Brittany's face fell and she bit her lip, keeping her eyes glued to her hands. "Yeah..."

"You haven't told her yet, have you?" Noah guessed, putting his spoon down. He sighed when Brittany didn't reply. "You're going to have to tell her at some point. You can't keep running away from this forever."

"I know." Brittany mumbled.

Noah was silent for a moment and folded his hands under his chin, looking at Brittany intently. "What are you so afraid of?"

Brittany took a deep breath and slowly turned around to face him. Meeting his sad eyes, she spoke in a soft voice. "That I'll lose her because of the way I look."

"You're a beautiful person, Brittany. Inside and out. If Santana can't see that, she doesn't deserve you." Noah insisted, his eyes boring into Brittany's blue ones. "We don't know for certain what's going to happen but you're starting to grow attached and the longer you wait, the more it'll hurt if she _does_ react badly. Although I highly doubt that she will."

Brittany sighed and ran her hand through her long, blonde locks. "How do you know?"

"Just a feeling." Noah replied with a shrug. He stood up and walked around the counter, placing his bowl in the sink and coming to a stop directly in front of Brittany. "I know it's hard, baby girl, but you're not alone. I'm always here for you."

"Yeah, that's why you've been having contact with my mom behind my back." Brittany said in a low voice, her natural defensive mechanism activating.

Noah shook his head while pinching the bridge of his nose. "Yeah, I've spoken with your mom a couple of times but only because I'm worried about you. I love you like a sister and seeing you so unhappy is torture. What did you expect me to do?"

Brittany narrowed her eyes, crossing her arms over her chest. "Who says that I'm not happy?"

"You don't have to pretend with me, Brittany!" Noah told her in a harsh voice, causing her to flinch a little. "You're _not_ okay. Stop saying that you are because you're not. You don't sleep, you hardly eat, all you do is work, work, work. I know that you're trying to keep yourself busy because it keeps your mind off things and that's why you refuse to take time off work but it's not healthy. Sometimes you get this distant look in your eyes and you don't respond to anything anymore and it's like you're reliving everything again. Your panic attacks might not be as bad as they used to be but you're still anxious all the time. You're _not _okay, Brittany, and it's breaking my heart. You're here, but you're not really here and I- I miss you. So I'm sorry that you're upset with me for caring but I'm not going to just walk out of your life like I know you're expecting me to. I'm not going anywhere, even though you really piss me off sometimes because you're so damn stubborn and I wish you would just let me in already."

His words hit Brittany like a blow to the stomach. Her vision blurred as tears unwillingly sprang to her eyes. She sucked in a trembling breath, blinking hard. "You don't-…" She couldn't get the rest of her words out. There was a lump in her throat. She swallowed and took a step backwards, shaking her head. "I'll tell her, okay? Eventually."

"Britt-…" Noah tried but Brittany cut him off.

"I'm going to take a shower." She mumbled, turning on her heels.

"Don't walk away from me." Noah tried again but it was already too late; Brittany had already left the room. He let out a heavy sigh and slumped against the counter, a look of defeat crossing his face.


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: _Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews. This week has been pretty awesome with all the pictures we've been getting of the 100th episode. I'm slightly optimistic about Brittana's future on the show.

Anyway, here's the next chapter. Enjoy! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 6.**

"Rachel is throwing a small party at her place tomorrow." Quinn announced as she wiped her hands with a napkin. Santana and her had just finished eating lunch at a small restaurant and had a meeting to attend later. The brunette leaned back in her chair with a bored expression on her face, quietly sipping her drink and waiting for her to continue. "She asked me to tell you that you're invited."

"A _small_ party at Berry's place." Santana repeated slowly. "What's the occasion?"

"I don't know." Quinn told her with a shrug. "Does it matter?"

Santana went to take another sip from her drink but realized that her glass was empty. She pouted a little and looked at Quinn again. "Are you going?" She asked. "It sounds boring."

"I think it could be fun." Quinn shrugged again, her eyes flickering down to the table. She was silent for a moment as a thoughtful expression spread across her features. "Maybe you can invite Brittany. It seems like she could use some fun."

Santana gave her a small nod in reply, it sounded like a pretty good idea. "Maybe. I'll ask Smurfette about it later."

"Well, I'm sure that _Rachel_ will be fine with it." Quinn said, a satisfied smile forming on her lips. She tilted her head and looked at Santana curiously. "Speaking of Brittany, how is she doing?"

"She's good." Santana replied, barely able to suppress a grin at the mention of her almost-girlfriend's name. She inwardly rolled her eyes at herself. "We're actually hanging out tonight. She invited me over and offered to cook dinner."

"That's sweet." Quinn commented with an approving nod of the head. "It sounds like you really like her."

"I do." Santana admitted shyly, her fingers playing with the straw in her glass. "It's kind of scary how much. There's just something about her that's so unique, so unforgettable. That's why I can't fuck this up." She paused and shook her head. "Why am I telling you this?"

"Because I'm your best friend." Quinn answered the question. "I'm happy that you're happy, San. Did she ever end up telling you about what happened that night of the thunderstorm?"

"No, she'll tell me when she's ready." Santana said, a sad sigh escaping her lips. "I promised that I wouldn't push her and I won't but she's so closed off sometimes, like she doesn't want to be reached and prefers to be alone instead. I wish she'd trust me a little more."

Quinn nodded sympathetically. "Just be patient with her. Let her work things out at her own pace. It'll be fine." She assured her friend. "I'm sure of it."

Santana shot her a small, appreciative smile. "You're right. Thanks, Q."

"Of course." Quinn said, returning the smile. She hesitated for a moment before carefully asking, "Have you heard from your parents lately?"

Santana's face darkened. "No, I don't want to speak with them." She said bitterly, wringing her hands together in her lap. "They can send me an email or leave me a voicemail if they want to tell me how much of a disappointment I am and how I'm wasting my life. I've heard it all by now."

"I'm sorry, S." Quinn said softly, unsure of what else to say. "I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better but I honestly have no idea what you're going through. It saddens me that they can't see what an amazing person you are."

"Whatever." Santana mumbled. "I don't want to talk about this anymore."

Quinn's eyes searched hers for a moment before she sighed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I said I was fine." Santana snapped, pushing her chair away from the table. "Can we go now? The meeting starts in an hour and I'd like to get there early."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Quinn said in a low voice, already looking around for a waiter. After years of friendship she knew that this was a sensitive subject to Santana and pushing her would just have the opposite effect. "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"It's fine." Santana sighed, sending her friend a tight lipped smile to let her know that it was okay. Her demeanor had softened considerably but her body language was still tense. She dropped some money on the table and slowly stood up. "I'll wait for you outside, okay?"

Quinn nodded. "Sure."

Santana quickly put on her jacket and made her way outside. Leaning against the wall, she dug into her pocket and pulled out a box of cigarettes. She took one out and stuck it into her mouth, lighting the end. She drew in a deep breath before letting out a puff of grey smoke. It was a bad habit, Santana had to admit that, but she didn't do it constantly. Only when she was stressed or agitated.

She didn't like to think about her parents. Knowing that they would never accept her for who she was brought her a pain that she'd rather avoid. She closed her eyes and tried to clear her mind, willing herself not to cry. They weren't worth her tears.

When she opened her eyes again, they locked onto Quinn's who was looking at her with a curious expression on her face. The blonde gave a hateful stare at the cigarette between Santana's lips but didn't comment on it.

"Are you ready to go?" She asked instead.

"Uh-huh." Santana mumbled, tossing her unfinished cigarette on the ground and stepping on it with her foot. She pushed herself off the wall and followed Quinn towards her car. She wished that she could go over to Brittany's apartment already. Being around Brittany always seemed to make everything better.

This was going to be a long day.

* * *

A few agonizingly long hours later, Santana was standing outside of Brittany's apartment. She quickly fixed her hair and knocked on the door, holding the rose that she had bought earlier tightly in her hand. Santana had never been one for romantic gestures but somehow things were different with Brittany.

The door opened and Santana felt her heart flutter in her chest when her eyes met piercing blue ones. Brittany was wearing a similar outfit to hers; dark skinny jeans and a simple t-shirt but unlike Santana, her hair was tied back into a ponytail instead of spread out across the shoulders.

Santana smiled. "Hi, Britt."

"Hi, San." Brittany said in her usual soft tone. She held the door open and Santana stepped inside. "Dinner is almost ready. I'm not a great cook but I'm not terrible either. I followed the recipe exactly so hopefully it'll be alright."

"I'm sure it'll be great." Santana assured her. The smell that invaded her nostrils was mouth-watering and it made her stomach grumble in anticipation. She held up the red flower that was still in her hand and smiled weakly. "I got you a rose."

Brittany's eyes lit up and she leaned in to give Santana a chaste kiss on the lips. "Thank you, Santana. That's really sweet." She said, taking the rose from her. "Have a seat and I'll get the food. Do you want some wine?"

"Sure. Do you need any help?"

"No, thanks. I got it." Brittany said with a smile. "I'll be right back."

Santana walked towards the table that was neatly decorated with a light blue table cloth and took a seat. Brittany returned a few minutes later, carrying in the plates of food and setting them down. She sat down across from Santana and the brunette shot her a warm smile. "It looks delicious."

"Hopefully it'll taste that way too." Brittany said, blushing lightly.

Santana gathered some food onto her fork and brought it up to her mouth, breathing in the scent of the dish before taking a small bite. She hummed in delight. "It does."

Brittany sighed in relief.

A few hours later, they had moved into the living room and were sitting on the couch. Dinner had been amazing. Santana thought that Brittany was way too modest when it came to her cooking skills. The evening had flown by. Brittany always seemed to know what to say and do to make Santana feel relaxed. Any tension from earlier that day had left her body. The blonde seemed genuinely interested as she asked questions about Santana's work and the articles she was working on.

"What do you like to do for fun, Britt?" Santana asked after a while.

Brittany wasn't sure how to answer that question. She had never really had a special hobby that interested her and besides, most things cost money and there wasn't any extra money for her to throw around. With her work hours she hardly had time to relax anyway.

When Brittany didn't respond, Santana continued. "A colleague of mine is throwing a party tomorrow and I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. I know that you're busy with work but you deserve some time to enjoy yourself."

Brittany fiddled with the hem of her shirt and gave Santana a half smile. "A party?"

"It's not really a party, more like a get-together." Santana said, searching Brittany's eyes to try to find out what she was thinking. "We can always leave and do something else if it turns out to be as boring as I'm expecting it to. I would really like you to come but no pressure."

She watched Brittany's face intently, waiting for a reaction. Finally, Brittany exhaled and relaxed her tense shoulders. "Okay, I'll go. What time?"

"Around eight." Santana replied. "I'll pick you up."

They continued to chat for another hour until Santana realized that she had to go soon. She still had lot of work to do but she didn't really want the night to be over yet. As if Brittany could sense her thoughts, she spoke up. "You have to leave soon, don't you?"

"Unfortunately." Santana sighed, leaning over and placing her empty coffee mug on the table. "But I'll see you tomorrow, right?"

"Right."

Brittany reached out and took Santana's hand in her own as they walked to the door, earning an adoring smile. Santana turned to face the blonde and gently tucked a strand of hair that had fallen out of her ponytail behind her ear. "Thanks for dinner."

Brittany squeezed her hand and pulled her closer, cupping a tan cheek with her free hand and leaning in to press a soft kiss to full lips. "You're welcome." She said softly after pulling away. She opened the door and bit her lip in thought before asking, "Do you maybe want to borrow a sweater or something? It's cold outside and your jacket looks thin."

"That would be great." Santana said appreciatively.

Brittany disappeared into her bedroom and returned with a dark purple sweater less than half a minute later. She handed it to Santana who quickly pulled it over her head before putting her jacket over it. The sweater was a little too big on her but Brittany thought that it just made her look ever cuter than usual. She couldn't help but stare.

"Thank you." Santana said softly before pulling her closer and giving her another kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Brittany nodded, a familiar goofy smile in place. "Good night, Santana."

"Good night, Brittany."

Once Santana had left the apartment, Brittany closed the door and leaned against it. Noah's words echoed in her mind but she ignored them completely. She knew that she was going to have to tell Santana at some point but just the thought itself made her temples throb with the promise of an upcoming headache. Santana had become so important to her and she didn't think she'd survive if she lost her.

* * *

"Can I get you more coffee, sir?"

The old man shook his head and placed a twenty dollar bill on the counter. "No, thank you. I should head home. Keep the change."

"Thank you." Brittany said, smiling politely. She watched as he left the diner and glanced at her watch, sighing in relief when she saw that her shift was almost over. Today had been an exceptionally slow day and she was eager to leave. The place was nearly empty so she grabbed a rag and began to clean the counter.

The diner's bell chimed as someone walked inside and Brittany looked up, meeting Noah's eyes. He gave her a hesitant smile and silently found a stool at the end of the counter. He cleared his throat and mumbled a, "Hi."

"Hi." Brittany echoed. They hadn't spoken since their conversation days before and Brittany had never felt so awkward around her best friend. All the words he had said to her were so truthful, like he had momentarily accessed her mind, and it scared her a little. Sighing, she grabbed the coffee pot and a mug before making her way over to him. "Do you want some coffee?"

Noah nodded and looked at her as she poured him a cup. "How have you been?"

"I'm sorry." Brittany suddenly blurted out, ignoring his question.

Noah was silent for a few seconds, his eyebrows pinching together in confusion. "You don't have to apologize, Brittany." He finally said in a soft voice.

"Yes, I do." Brittany insisted. "I know that you were just trying to help and I'm sorry for acting so distant towards you. I realize how lucky I am to have such an amazing friend as you in my life and I appreciate everything you've done for me. Please just try to understand and give me my space when I say that I don't want to talk."

Noah nodded. "I'm sorry for pushing you."

"Want to hug it out?" Brittany asked with a smile. She walked around the counter and waited until Noah was on his feet before enveloping him in a tight hug. They embraced for several moments before pulling away. Brittany looked up at her friend. "Thanks for everything, Noah. I mean it."

"Aw, Britty, don't go all sentimental on me." Noah teased, playfully poking Brittany in the stomach. Brittany rolled her eyes and returned to her previous spot behind the counter as Noah sat down again. "So, do you maybe want to hang out tonight or something?"

"I can't. I have plans." Brittany told him, shooting him an apologetic smile. "Santana invited me to a party."

Noah raised his eyebrows, feeling a little surprised that Santana had convinced Brittany to go out while the blonde always refused whenever he asked. He wasn't jealous but definitely surprised. He took a sip from his coffee before speaking up. "I like her. She's good for you."

"Yeah, she is." Brittany agreed. She glanced at her watch and then back at Noah. "I'm going to head out if you don't mind. I want to have enough time to change for the party."

"I can give you a ride home." Noah suggested.

"Great!" Brittany cheered as she took off her apron. She walked into the backroom to say goodbye to Joey and quickly gathered her things. Once she had everything, she joined Noah who was already waiting by the door. Noah smiled as he held the door open for her.

* * *

Brittany had just finished getting changed when there was a knock on the door. After going through each of her casual outfits, she had finally settled on a pair of tight jeans, black heels and a black shirt with a white blazer over it. Her blonde hair was loose and slightly curled at the tips.

Her hands were shaking slightly when she reached out for the doorknob. She had to admit that she was a little nervous. She didn't know anyone at the party expect for Santana and Quinn. Hopefully, Santana wouldn't leave her alone for long periods of time because meeting strangers wasn't exactly her favorite thing to do in the world.

"Wow." She breathed out, her eyes traveling slowly from Santana's legs up to her gorgeous face. "You look beautiful, Santana."

"Thanks, so do you." Santana said, smiling brightly. "Are you ready to go?"

Brittany nodded, pulled her coat off the coat rack and slipped it on. She closed the door behind her, locked it and followed Santana outside. "Is your friend really okay with a stranger coming to her party?"

"I'm sure that Berry is happy that there are even people coming in the first place." Santana said with a roll of her eyes.

They made small talk during the short drive to Rachel's apartment. When they arrived, they were greeted enthusiastically by the small diva who was standing in the doorway. "Hello and welcome, Santana! I'm glad you could make it to my little gathering." She turned to Brittany and smiled widely. "You must be Brittany. My name is Rachel, it's a pleasure to meet you."

"You too." Brittany said, taking her outstretched hand and shaking it.

"Come on in, there are drinks in the kitchen and snacks too." Rachel gestured for them to come inside before she moved on to greet other people.

They went straight to the kitchen for drinks. They poured themselves a glass of wine and walked into the living room where others were mingling as well. Santana was surprised by how many people there were. There were some of her other co-workers as well. A few people came up to talk to them and everyone seemed to like Brittany. This was the most social interaction Santana had had with her co-workers in a long time. She hardly ever attended staff parties because she thought they were boring.

Once Quinn joined them, Brittany mostly stayed quiet and just listened to their conversation, smiling at the interaction between the two friends. It reminded her of her close friendship with Noah.

"I'm going to get another drink." Brittany said after she had finished the last of her wine. "Can I get you guys a refill?"

Santana shook her head. "No, thanks. I'm driving us home so I'm good."

After Quinn told her that she didn't want anything either, Brittany made her way into the kitchen to get herself another drink. It surprised her how at ease she felt around the group of new people. Maybe it had something to do with Santana who always seemed to have a calming effect on her. She sighed happily and returned to the other two women.

Brittany talked and laughed and before she knew it, it was midnight and the party was still going strong. The amount of people that had gathered in the house was starting to make her feel a little uneasy though. She was also already starting to feel the effect of the alcohol so she decided to go out on the balcony. She closed the door behind her and moved to lean over the railing, the cool air feeling nice as it blew on her warm face.

The door opened behind her and seconds later she felt a presence next to her. Brittany knew that is was Santana without having to look. Her assumption was confirmed when the familiar voice of the brunette sounded. "What are you doing here all by yourself?"

"Just getting some air." Brittany replied, momentarily turning her head to meet brown eyes before looking ahead again.

Santana nodded in understanding. "It's pretty out here, isn't it?"

"Not as pretty as you." Brittany countered.

Santana rolled her eyes at the cheesy comment, a light blush tinting her cheeks. They stood there in silence for a few minutes, just enjoying the view and each other's company. Brittany went to move closer to Santana but accidently stumbled over her own feet, tipping her glass back in the process and spilling her drink all over herself. "Shit." She mumbled, trying to pat her shirt dry with her free hand. "I'm so clumsy sometimes."

"I don't think that's going to work, Britt." Santana said, watching in amusement as Brittany bent her head down and tried to blow on her shirt. "Let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up."

"Okay." Brittany agreed without really thinking.

Santana smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her back inside and towards the bathroom down the hall. She sighed when it was occupied and knocked impatiently on the door. "Hey, are you deaf? The fire alarm just went off, hurry!"

The door flew open and a wide-eyed woman ran past them. Santana smirked in victory and tugged on Brittany's hand, causing her to stumble slightly. "How much did you have to drink, Britt?" Santana asked, closing the door behind them.

"Not that much." Brittany gave a small hiccup. "Maybe a few more than I should have."

Santana just smiled as she looked into slightly dazed blue eyes. She grabbed a towel and placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder. "Sit." She instructed, guiding the blonde down onto the lidded toilet seat. "And tilt your head back."

Brittany complied and Santana stood over her, gently running the towel over her neck and drying off the tips of her hair. Brittany let her eyes fall closed, focusing on the smoothness of Santana's hands as they met her skin. She suddenly felt incredibly sleepy.

"We need to do something about your shirt." Santana said softly, looking at Brittany's black shirt that was pretty much soaked. It didn't seem like Brittany had heard her though, as she still had her eyes closed and showed no signs of acknowledgment. "I guess I could give you my shirt. I'm wearing a tank top underneath it anyway." When Brittany again didn't respond, Santana reached out and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Britt?"

Nothing.

Santana sighed and bit her lip in thought. Brittany was shivering slightly and she didn't want her to be cold. She hesitated for a second and then carefully reached out for the hem of Brittany's shirt. Before she had the chance to tug it up, Brittany's eyes flew open, suddenly looking wide and alarmed, as she moved away from Santana's hands.

"What- what are you doing?" She stammered, panic audible in her voice.

Santana's brow furrowed in confusion at the strange reaction. "I was just trying to help. Your shirt is wet and you looked cold so I offered to give you mine but…" She trailed off, her eyes searching guarded blue ones. "What's wrong?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and breathed sharply through her nose. "You- you can't do that, Santana." She said in a low, unsteady voice. Her heart was pounding so hard in her chest that she could hear it in her ears. She squeezed her eyes shut and unconsciously started to rub her hands over her thighs where her scars were hidden underneath her clothing. It felt like all the air was slowly being sucked out of her lungs. She needed to get out of here. Now.

"Brittany?" Santana tried again.

"I-I need to go."

Brittany opened her eyes, avoiding Santana's concerned gaze as she slowly pulled herself into a standing position, trying not to wobble as she did so. She pushed past Santana and quickly left the bathroom. Ignoring everything around her, she walked through the living room and darted outside. She slumped against the nearest wall and took a few deep breaths, trying to calm herself down.

She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering in the cold wind. She couldn't believe that she had let Santana come so close to discovering her scars. The mere thought made her heart clench and her stomach twist painfully. She kept telling herself that she would tell Santana eventually but she was starting to doubt that she'd ever be ready.

Someone suddenly stepped in front of her and she startled. Santana's eyes darted around, studying Brittany's face, looking for something. She draped the blazer that Brittany had left inside over the blonde's shoulders and spoke in a quiet voice, as if not to disturb the silence around them. "You forgot this."

Brittany wanted to thank her but she couldn't get any words out. She didn't know what to think.

"Do you…" Santana started to speak but her voice cracked. She took a deep breath and tried again. "Do you trust me, Brittany?" Her deep brown eyes bore into Brittany's blue ones as she waited for an answer. Brittany swallowed thickly, shifting uncomfortably as she gave a small, barely visible nod in reply. Santana took another step forwards, her gaze never leaving Brittany's as she did so. "Then stop pushing me away. I know that I told you that it could wait but you need to give me _something_, Brittany, because I'm really confused here."

Brittany exhaled shakily and bowed her head, curling her clammy hands into tight fists to try to keep them from shaking, her short nails digging into her palms painfully. She swallowed the lump in her throat before she spoke softly. "I just- I don't want to lose you before we even had a chance."

"You won't." Santana said without any hesitation. She gently cupped Brittany's cheeks and let her lips brush against Brittany's quivering ones as she whispered, "Please stop running from me."

Brittany shivered and avoided Santana's eyes, unable to take the intensity she saw in them.

"Look at me." Santana whispered but Brittany refused; too nervous, too embarrassed, too overwhelmed. "Brittany, please." The brunette pleaded, the soft pads of her thumbs stroking Brittany's cheeks, frowning at the girl's distressed expression. "Let me in."

Brittany's skin tingled at her touch. Everything in her head was spinning so fast that she couldn't get a grip on her thoughts. She could hear the pain in Santana's voice and knew that she couldn't deny her an explanation any longer. Maybe it was best to get it over with. Her eyes nervously flickered up. "Okay." She whispered, knowing that it was now or never. "I'll tell you."


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: _Thanks everyone for their kind words. You guys are awesome! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee. If I did it would be all Brittana.

* * *

**Chapter 7.**

Brittany's heart was racing so fast that she had to focus on her breathing. She was beyond nervous and it felt she was going to pass out. Her hands were shaking and she dropped her keys a few times before she finally managed to open the door to her apartment. Santana had agreed to go back there so they could speak quietly.

They wordlessly made their way inside and Brittany awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot as they stood in the living room. She didn't know what to do next. "Do you want something to drink?" She finally broke the silence, trying to buy herself some time. Santana shook her head and Brittany bit her lip, contemplating her next action. "Where do you want to talk?"

"Wherever you feel most comfortable." Santana replied, shooting her a small smile, trying to calm her down a little.

"Oh, okay." Brittany mumbled, nervously rubbing the back of her neck. "The bedroom?"

The brunette nodded and followed Brittany as she led the way. Santana took a seat on the edge of the bed and looked at Brittany as she began to pace in front of her. She sighed and reached out, taking Brittany's hand and giving it a small tug, indicating for her to sit down next to her. Brittany reluctantly did so.

"You don't have to be nervous, Britt." Santana said soothingly, placing her hand on the small of Brittany's back, frowning when she felt the blonde jump slightly at the touch. "It's just me."

"That's why I'm nervous." Brittany admitted, clearing her throat as she fiddled with her sweaty hands. "I don't even know where to begin."

"Don't worry." Santana told her patiently. "Just take your time and start wherever you feel you should."

Brittany was silent for a long time. She appeared to be lost in her thoughts, searching for the right words. Finally, she took a deep breath and began to speak in a soft voice. "After high school, my best friend and I decided to move to the city." She paused and looked at Santana, searching for a sign of encouragement. Santana nodded, wondering if she was talking about Noah or someone else. Brittany answered the question for her when she continued. "Jess got into college and I was going to try to pursue a dancing career. Noah got held back a year but he joined us after he graduated. He was always supportive of me when it came to dancing but Jess was my number one fan. She was the one who made me feel confident enough to follow my dreams." She smiled a little at the memory but her face soon became serious again. "One day, I had an audition in LA that was really important and Jess came with me despite her busy schedule because she knew that I'd be nervous. It was so sweet of her but then again, that is the kind of friend she was."

She let out a shuddering breath and looked down at her lap, trying to collect her thoughts. A long time passed and Santana grew worrisome. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." Brittany mumbled, taking a deep breath as she prepared to continue. "The first half of the flight went fine but then the plane suddenly started shaking."

Santana felt her stomach drop. She had an idea of where this was going but she hoped that she was wrong.

"They said that it was just a little turbulence." Brittany continued, lifting her head and making eye-contact for the first time in what felt like hours. "Only it wasn't."

"_What the hell is happening?" Jess asked as people started panicking when the seatbelt sign came on. There was a storm raging outside, lighting illuminating the sky as the thunder roared._

"_Ladies and gentleman." One of the flight attendants called out as the shaking of the airplane increased even more. "Please remain seated and fasten your seatbelt. We seem to be experiencing some turbulence."_

_Brittany gulped and turned her head, looking at Jess with panic-stricken eyes. "Jess…"_

"_It's okay, Britt, stay calm." The brunette told her, not sounding very convincing as her voice wavered. "It's just a little turbulence."_

_Suddenly the plane shook violently. There was a loud thunder clap and people screamed, lighting struck one of the wings and the plane spiraled out of control. Luggage started falling from the overhead cabinets and Brittany gasped, fear taking over her entire body. Children started crying as the plane continued to spin. They were falling. They were falling fast._

"_Brittany." Jess's voice caught her attention. "Close your eyes, Brittany." _

_Brittany did as she was told, squeezing her eyes shut, causing tears to spill over. She clutched the armrests tightly, painfully as the sound of screaming filled her ears. A little boy behind them was calling out for his mother. A woman in front of them was calling out for her husband. Her heart, heavy with dread and fear, pounded furiously in her chest. Seconds later, she heard a deafening crash and then everything became black around her._

"Brittany, you're shaking." Santana commented softly. She reached out for Brittany's hand but the blonde flinched, a startled expression twisting her features. Recognition flickered in her eyes and she shot Santana an apologetic look, accepting her hand. Santana gave her hand a soft squeeze. "Do you want to stop?"

Brittany shook her head. "No, I can do this." She said, determined to get it all out.

Santana nodded and waited patiently for her to start speaking again.

_Brittany opened her eyes and blinked heavily to clear the blurriness from her vision. With a lot of effort, she managed to turn her face and saw the head of a man with his body nowhere to be found. Her eyes widened in horror and her stomach twisted and churned, bile rising in the back of her throat._

_Her eyes landed on what was left of the plane. It was split in half and there were flames everywhere. People were screaming and writhing in agony. Some were running, some were calling out the names of their loved ones, some were trapped and some were on fire. The smell of burning flesh invaded her nostrils and a second wave of nausea crashed over her._

_As the feeling of disorientation wore off, an immense pain suddenly tore through her entire body, taking her by surprise. She let out a scream, one of piercing agony. Tears sprang to her eyes and rolled down her cheeks as she begged no one in particular to make the pain stop. Her lungs burned and the air tasted like smoke and dust. _

_She felt light-headed as her body continued to quiver in pain. A wave of dizziness washed over her and darkness began to creep at the edges of her vision. The image of the lifeless bodies around her was the last thing she saw before she slipped into unconsciousness once more._

"I can't remember what happened next but I woke up in the hospital." Brittany explained, her eyes were empty and focused on anywhere but Santana's face. "My parents were there. They told me that I had been in a coma for over a week." She paused. She didn't want to lose control and start crying, knowing that she might never stop if she did. Sucking in a trembling breath, she added, "Jess didn't make it."

"Brittany," Santana's voice cracked. "I'm so sorry."

Brittany continued to stare ahead and spoke in a monotone voice. "It turned out that I was hurt pretty badly. It was critical at first." She shook her head and furiously wiped at her eyes as tears threatened to escape them. "They should've just let me die."

"What?" Santana gasped, horrified. "Don't say that! Don't _ever_ say that."

"You don't get it." Brittany whispered, frustrated by how hard this was. "I'm disgusting."

"Hey, look at me." Santana said in a hushed voice, placing her hands on Brittany's cheeks and tilting her face up, forcing eye-contact. "What are you talking about? You are beautiful, Brittany, so very beautiful."

"No, you don't get it." Brittany repeated, her eyes darting from object to object in the room, missing Santana's eyes completely. "I'm far from beautiful." She sighed and curled her fingers around Santana's wrists, pulling her hands off her face. "I-I can show you."

Santana just nodded, confused by what was happening.

Brittany shuffled away from the brunette, creating more distance between them. This was the moment that she had been dreading for so long. There was no going back now. Her hands trembled as she reached for the hem of her shirt. She avoided Santana's gaze as she slowly tugged the still damp material upwards, pulling it over her head and dropping it on the bed beside her.

Santana's breath hitched in her throat and she instantly covered her mouth with her hand. Brittany's skin was heavily scarred. The marks covered most of her torso and ran down past her belly button, all the way around to the middle of her back. The scars were puckered and colored an odd shade of pink and white. By what Santana could tell, there were more hidden underneath her clothing. They looked incredibly painful and Santana grimaced, thinking of the kind of pain Brittany must have gone through.

Brittany slowly lifted her head and her heart plummeted at the expression on Santana's face. The tears that she had been holding back began to fall when she realized that her worst nightmare was actually becoming true. Santana was disgusted with her. Without saying a word, she jumped off the bed and quickly grabbed a clean shirt before hurriedly crossing the room.

"Brittany, what…" Before Santana could finish her sentence, she heard the bathroom door slam shut and the sound of the lock turning. She sat there frozen for a second and then got up to run after the blonde. Reaching the bathroom, she tried opening the door even though she already knew that it was locked. "Brittany, please come out."

"Go away Santana!" Brittany yelled back and Santana could hear the tears in her voice.

"I'm not leaving, Britt. Please open the door." Santana pleaded, her own throat closing up with emotion. She rested her forehead against the door and flattened her hand against it. "I just want to talk to you." Her voice cracked and she struggled to keep herself from crying with Brittany. It stayed silent on the other side of the door so she tried again. "Please Britt, don't shut me out again."

The brunette took a step backwards when she heard some shuffling. A long moment passed before the door slowly cracked open, revealing a sight that broke Santana's heart. Brittany's normally clear blue eyes were red-rimmed and puffy, face blotchy from crying. She walked past Santana and returned to her previous spot on the edge of her bed, wrapping her arms around herself protectively.

Santana carefully approached her and took a seat next to her, reaching out to place a hand on her shoulder. Brittany flinched and moved away from her. "Don't." She mumbled, lowering her head in shame. "Please just leave. You don't have to pretend that you want to be around me."

Santana's eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. "I want to be here, Brittany. What are you talking about?"

"I'm disgusting." Brittany whispered, squeezing her eyes shut in embarrassment and willing her tears to go away. "You think so too, don't you?"

Santana's jaw dropped. The shocked expression on her face remained unseen by Brittany whose eyes were now focused solely on her lap. Santana scooted closer and placed her hand on Brittany's thigh to stop the nervous bouncing of her leg. Brittany tried to move away again but Santana didn't let her. "I'm not disgusted with you. In fact, I'm the opposite." She stated in a calm voice. Brittany scoffed in disbelief and turned her face away. Santana bit her lip, trying to figure out what to do. "Show me."

"What?" Brittany asked in a small voice.

"Your scars." Santana explained softly. "Show them to me again."

"I can't." Brittany sniffled and wiped at her eyes. "I don't want you to see them. They're gross." She released a shaky breath, more tears welling up in her eyes. "It's okay if you want to end whatever it is that we have. You deserve someone better than me."

"Brittany," Santana sighed, not knowing what to say to convince the girl that she wasn't going anywhere. She took Brittany's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze. "Show me." When Brittany shook her head once more, Santana took her chin between her fingers and turned her face towards her. "Please, I want to see you."

Brittany hesitated for another long moment and then finally nodded. Her hands were shaking uncontrollably by now and she struggled to remove her shirt. Once it was off, she kept her head down and bit her lip to keep it from quivering. She felt Santana's intense gaze on her and she shifted uncomfortably.

Santana slowly stuck out her hand but stopped just before she reached Brittany's skin. "Can I?"

Brittany squeezed her eyes shut and gave her a small, hesitant nod in reply, inhaling sharply when Santana's fingers made contact with her skin. Santana lightly traced the scars that coated Brittany's back, feeling the bumpy texture of the tissue under the soft pads of her fingertips. Her hand moved slowly and she wished that she could somehow absorb Brittany's pain and take it away forever. She gently brushed Brittany's hair away and pressed a kiss to her shoulder, causing Brittany to shudder. "You're so beautiful, Brittany." She whispered.

Brittany opened her eyes, revealing stormy blue orbs filled with pain and disbelief. "I'm not; I'm ugly. Stop lying to me." She said stubbornly, shrugging Santana's hand off. "I understand if you want to go."

Santana felt frustration build up inside her. "Brittany, listen to me." She demanded, waiting until she was sure that she had the blonde's full attention before continuing. "Don't you dare say those things about yourself. Your scars make you even more beautiful than you already are. They show everyone how strong and brave you are. This doesn't change the way I feel about you so please believe me when I say that I'm not going anywhere. Do you honestly think I'm that shallow?"

Brittany sighed and silently shook her head.

"I want to be with you, Britt." Santana went on, staring into Brittany's eyes and hoping that the blonde could see her sincerity. "I want you to be my girlfriend."

Brittany's tears started flowing again in full force as she slowly processed Santana's words. She opened her mouth to say something but then closed it again. She wanted to believe that this was real but it seemed too good to be true. Her face crumbled as she finally choked out a small, "Really?"

Santana nodded and that was enough for the floodgates to open. A small sob erupted from her chest and in seconds Santana had gathered her in her arms. "Oh Britt," The brunette whispered, feeling tears well up in her own eyes. "Please don't cry." She pressed kisses into silky blonde hair and gently rubbed her hand up and down Brittany's back, feeling the tension radiate off Brittany as she touched her. "It's okay, baby."

Brittany would've smiled at the term of endearment if her emotions weren't running all over the place. Instead, she buried her face further into Santana's shoulder and tightened her arms around her waist. Her body wouldn't stop trembling and Santana pressed a kiss to her temple in silent reassurance. After a while, she felt Santana begin to pull away but she just held her closer. "I don't want to wake up and find out that this was all a dream."

"You won't." Santana cooed. "I promise."

Brittany pulled back slightly to meet Santana's eyes. "Do you really want me to be your girlfriend?" She asked shyly. "Even with the way I look?"

Santana nodded her head. "Yes, I really do."

Brittany's eyes brightened and she leaned in to place a soft kiss on Santana's lips. Santana ran her fingers over Brittany's abdomen and the blonde tensed again, the same nervous look from before spreading across her features. Santana felt her heart ache at the insecurity in Brittany's eyes but she didn't comment on it. "Do your scars ever still hurt?" She asked instead.

"They feel a little tender and sensitive at times." Brittany explained, her eyes shifting between her shirt that was lying next to her and Santana's face. "I have an ointment that helps. I use it when I've had a long day but it's hard to reach the ones on my back."

Santana could see the confliction in Brittany's eyes. She took the blonde's hand before she could grab her shirt and brought it to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it. "Lie down on your stomach." She instructed, not wanting Brittany to hide from her. The look of panic on Brittany's face made her add, "Don't worry, Britt. I won't hurt you."

The sincerity in Santana's voice made Brittany comply without further anxiety. She shifted to the middle of the mattress and lay down on her front, turning her head sideways. Santana quickly found the ointment that Brittany mentioned before in the drawer of the bedside table and gently straddled the blonde, legs on either side of her hips, careful not to scare her.

"What are you doing?" Brittany asked nervously.

"Just relax and let me take care of you." Santana told her gently, leaning down to place a reassuring kiss on her cheek. Brittany exhaled shakily and tried to relax. Once Santana was sure that Brittany was ready, she squeezed a generous amount of ointment onto her fingers and let it warm for a moment, using her free hand to brush Brittany's hair to the side.

Starting high up Brittany's back, the brunette started to rub the ointment into Brittany's scars, making small circular patterns with her fingertips. She massaged Brittany's shoulders for a while and then went to unclip the blonde's bra, stopping her movements to wait for a sign of permission. Brittany burrowed herself further into the mattress, as if trying to hide, and then nodded once.

She still couldn't believe that Santana was willing to touch her.

Santana carefully unclipped Brittany's bra and continued to move her hands in wide strokes up and down the length of Brittany's back, using the fleshy part of her palms. A smile found its way to her lips when she felt the tight muscles underneath Brittany's warm skin begin to loosen, even though her face was still tense. Once the ointment was absorbed into Brittany's scars, Santana fastened her bra and spoke in a soft voice, "Are you okay to turn over onto your back?"

A flash of fear crossed Brittany's features and she swallowed thickly, her fingers nervously gripping the sheet beneath her. Santana sat back on her heels and just waited patiently, not wanting to push her. At Brittany's timid nod, Santana scooted backwards and watched as the blonde turned over, revealing the more aggressive looking scars on her abdomen. Brittany closed her eyes and released a shaky breath, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

"_Hey_," Santana whispered as she gently caressed Brittany's cheek with her hand, wanting to somehow ease her nerves. "Look at me." Brittany clenched her jaw and opened her eyes, revealing blue orbs that were glistening with unshed tears. Santana felt her stomach clench at the sight. She nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose and then placed a kiss there. "Do you want to stop?"

Brittany bit down on her bottom lip and reached for Santana's other hand, holding it tightly in her own. She let out another shaky breath and slowly shook her head. "I trust you."

Santana smiled softly and disentangled their fingers to reach for the tube of ointment. She then gently began to move her hands over Brittany's shoulders and up her neck, feeling the contrast between the rough, bumpy skin and the smooth, unscarred skin. She pressed her palm flat against Brittany's chest and could feel the rapid beating of her heart. She frowned worriedly and her eyes moved back up to meet nervous blue ones.

"It's okay." She soothed, slowly combing her fingers through Brittany's long hair and letting her thumb lightly stroke the skin beneath the blonde's ear. "It's just me."

Brittany's brow furrowed slightly as the tension began to creep back into her body. "I-I'm…" She blinked hard as she collected her thoughts and tried again. "I'm scared, San. You could have any girl in the world but still you're choosing me. I don't want you to change your mind."

"That's not going to happen, Britt." Santana told her, looking deeply into her eyes. "I've never been so sure of anything in my life." Not giving her a chance to rebut, Santana leaned down and kissed her softly, dark hair falling down the sides of her face. Pulling away, she pecked the tip of Brittany's nose and rested their foreheads together. "Why would I want anyone else when my girlfriend is this beautiful?"

Brittany smiled a tiny smile that lit up the entire room. A warm feeling spread through Santana's body and she couldn't stop herself from kissing Brittany's lips once more. "Are you ready to continue?" She asked after they parted, sitting up again.

Brittany's face turned serious at this and she took a deep breath, nodding once. Santana let her hands lightly brush against the material of Brittany's bra before she settled them on Brittany's firm stomach, feeling the muscles jerk and react to her touch. She stilled her movements and gave Brittany a moment to relax. When Brittany showed no signs of reluctance, Santana squeezed some ointment on her hands and rubbed it between her palms.

Santana's gaze never left Brittany's as she began to move her hands over the scars on her stomach, gently kneading the skin. Brittany's eyes were wide but hopeful and watching her intently, following her every move. Santana squeezed her sides in affection and moved up, resting her hands against her ribs and massaging them tenderly. Brittany's breath hitched slightly and she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, a light blush tinting her cheeks.

The brunette moved lower, gently kneading the area around Brittany's belly button and letting her fingers graze the waistband of her jeans. She rested her hand there and brought her other hand up to brush Brittany's hair away from her face. "Do you have more scars on your thighs?"

Brittany sighed and nodded sadly. "Yes."

"Can I see?" Santana asked softly, wanting Brittany to know that she appreciated every part of her no matter what. A shudder rippled through Brittany's thin frame and her eyes darted around Santana's face, scanning every inch. She trusted Santana but the thought of fully showing herself still scared her immensely. Santana immediately picked up on it and withdrew her hand, sending her a smile to show her understanding. "It's okay. It can wait until another time."

"Another time." Brittany nodded, relief evident on her face.

Santana leaned in and lightly brushed her lips against Brittany's before capturing them in a sweet kiss. Brittany's eyes automatically fluttered shut and her hand curled around the back of Santana's neck, running her fingers through the soft hairs she found there. She shivered when Santana ran her tongue across her bottom lip and opened her mouth, deepening the kiss.

Brittany eventually broke the kiss for air, breathing heavily, eyes remaining closed. Santana propped herself up on one elbow and smiled down at the girl who she got to call her girlfriend now. Words couldn't describe how happy that made her. They lay there in silence for a while and Santana was pretty sure that Brittany was starting to doze off. She planted a kiss on the blonde's forehead and then slowly climbed off her and out of bed.

"No, don't leave." Brittany whispered groggily.

"I'm not leaving." Santana assured her. "I'm just going to change my clothes, they're not very comfortable. You should probably do the same."

Brittany's eyes snapped open when she realized that she was still lying there shirtless. Her face flushed in embarrassment and she quickly pulled the covers over herself. Santana sighed sadly but didn't say anything. It was probably going to take some time for Brittany to feel completely comfortable around her and she respected that.

"I'm going to take a quick shower. I still smell like wine a little." Brittany announced.

Santana nodded. "Let me brush my teeth first."

A few minutes later, Santana was lying in bed while Brittany was in the shower. She buried her face in the pillow Brittany had used before and inhaled the familiar scent that was her girlfriend, causing her to sigh happily. It meant a lot to Santana that Brittany had trusted her enough to show her the most vulnerable part of herself and she meant every word she had said to her. She really wasn't going anywhere.

When Brittany joined her in bed, she rolled over and settled behind the blonde, wrapping her arms around her waist protectively. Brittany snuggled into her and covered one of her hands with her own, never wanting to let go. She still couldn't believe that this was real. After her accident she hadn't been expecting to ever feel this happy again.

"Go to sleep, Britt-Britt." Santana whispered, nuzzling her nose into Brittany's hair. "I'll still be here when you wake up."

With those words, Brittany allowed her eyes to fall shut. Santana's warmth made her feel safer than she had felt in a very long time. She felt Santana's breath hit the back of her neck and it calmed her. It didn't take long for her to drift off to sleep.

* * *

Brittany woke up to the sun shining brightly into the room. She slowly opened her eyes and turned her head to Santana who was now snuggled against her chest. Her face was calm and her long, dark hair was fanned out on the pillow. Brittany smiled to herself, wondering how she had gotten so lucky to have someone as beautiful as Santana in her life.

Relief flooded her body when she realized that she had slept through the night. This was the second time that Santana had stayed over and she hadn't woken up once. Telling Santana about her accident had brought up a lot of emotions and she had expected it to trigger a nightmare but luckily that wasn't the case. Maybe Santana was her good luck charm.

Brittany dropped a kiss on Santana's forehead and carefully disentangled herself from the brunette's arms. She got out of bed, made a stop at the bathroom and then walked into the kitchen where she began to prepare breakfast. It was Sunday which luckily meant that she didn't have work today and could spend time with Santana.

She was so caught up in her work that she didn't notice Santana coming up behind her until she felt a pair of arms snake around her waist. A smile slowly spread across her face. "Hey, San. Did you sleep okay?" Instead of responding with words, Santana began planting a trail of kisses down the side of her neck. Brittany turned around and landed a kiss on her lips. "I guess that means yes."

"Hmm." Santana hummed in confirmation. She cupped Brittany's cheek and connected their lips again, this time deepening the kiss. She playfully nibbled on Brittany's lower lip, smirking when the blonde let out a soft moan. Brittany somehow found the will to break the kiss and Santana pouted a little.

"I don't want to burn breakfast." Brittany explained, pecking Santana's lips once more before turning back to the food. "I was going to bring it to you."

"That's sweet." Santana replied as she rested her chin on Brittany's shoulder, tightening her arms around her slim waist. "_You're _sweet." She corrected herself. Brittany's cheeks instantly colored pink and she smiled. "And cute." She kissed Brittany's cheek. "And funny." Another kiss. "And beautiful."

"San!" Brittany whined, blushing furiously at all the compliments.

"I'm sorry but it's true!" Santana chuckled, watching as Brittany flipped a pancake. "Do you need any help?"

"No, they're almost finished." Brittany said. "Thanks though."

Santana slowly released the blonde from her embrace and moved to pour them both a cup of coffee. She placed the mugs on the table and then grabbed some plates just as Brittany turned off the stove. They sat down across from each other and began to eat their pancakes in a comfortable silence.

A tiny sigh caught Santana's attention and she looked up to find Brittany staring down at her plate with a lost expression on her face. The brunette eyed her worriedly. "Are you okay, Britt?"

"Yeah." Brittany said softly, lifting her head just enough to make eye-contact. "I just wanted to thank you for last night." She held Santana's gaze for a moment before adding, "It means a lot to me."

"You don't have to thank me." Santana shot her a warm smile, reaching out to take her hand in her own. "I'll always be here for you."

Brittany felt herself getting emotional again and decided to stay silent, afraid that she would burst into tears if she spoke. She had done enough crying last night. As if sensing her thoughts, Santana quietly got up, walked around the table to where she was sitting and slid onto her lap. Brittany smiled softly and buried her face in the curve of Santana's neck, wrapping her arms around her girlfriend's waist and sighing contentedly when slender fingers began to comb through her hair.

"I'm really happy." Brittany mumbled, her lips vibrating against Santana's skin.

Santana kissed the top of her head softly, nuzzling her hair and breathing in the sweet scent that was so characteristically Brittany. "Me too." She whispered back, smiling when she felt Brittany snuggle even closer. They stayed in that position for a while until Santana pulled back to look into Brittany's eyes. "You know you could've told me sooner, right?"

"I'm sorry." Brittany sighed sadly, hanging her head. "I was just scared."

"Don't ever be scared to talk to me." Santana whispered.

She cupped Brittany's cheek with one hand and tilted her face up to bring their lips together in a passionate kiss. Blue eyes fluttered shut as Brittany melted into the contact, completely forgetting what they were talking about and all her worries momentarily leaving her body. Santana's other hand untangled from Brittany's hair and slowly traveled down, slipping under her shirt and coming to a rest on the small of her back. "It's okay." She murmured against Brittany's lips when she felt the blonde tense slightly. Brittany relaxed and resumed their kiss, flicking her tongue out against Santana's bottom lip before sucking it into her mouth, playfully nibbling it with her teeth.

A groan escaped Santana's throat as things quickly grew heated and she unconsciously grinded her hips into Brittany, searching for more friction. Brittany copied the movement and shivered at the sensation, breaking the kiss to catch her breath and moaning as Santana lowered her head down to suck at the sensitive skin just below her ear. Her eyes rolled into the back of her head when Santana took her earlobe between her teeth, lightly biting down on it before sucking it into her mouth.

"San," Brittany said breathlessly, knowing exactly where this was headed. "We should stop."

Santana slowly pulled away to look at Brittany, her eyes darker than usual. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Brittany said quietly, suddenly feeling incredibly insecure. "I don't… I don't think I'm ready for that right now. I mean… I haven't-…" She sighed, frustrated, as she struggled to find the right words. "I'm sorry. It's just been a whi-…"

"It's okay." Santana cut her off with a peck on the lips. Brittany suddenly looked ashamed, a little scared even, and Santana never wanted her to feel that way. "I understand. We can wait as long as you want, it doesn't matter. Don't feel bad."

Relief washed over Brittany's features and she reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "Thank you."

Santana flashed her a warm smile but didn't say anything.

"Do you have anywhere to be today?" Brittany asked, placing her hands on Santana's hips and looking up at her with hopeful eyes.

Santana smiled wider and shook her head. "Nope, I'm all yours."

Brittany felt her heart flutter in her chest at these words. "I was thinking that we could stay in today, watch a movie or something and maybe…" She felt her cheeks heat up as she quickly rushed out the rest of the sentence, "do some cuddling?"

"Cuddling, huh?" Santana teased, chuckling when Brittany nodded shyly. She pressed a kiss to an adorable flushed cheek before saying, "I'd love to."


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: _As always thanks for all the reviews on the last chapter! Here's the next one. Enjoy :)

* * *

**Chapter 8.**

_There were flames everywhere. Thick, black smoke filled the air and made her lungs feel heavy. Her heart was hammering against her ribcage in fear and panic but she continued to run, even as the prickling heat assaulted her skin. Her eyes were tearing up and she couldn't see anything. She was trapped in the smoke. People were calling out for help, screaming and crying in pain. The hairs on the back of her arms and neck stood up when a familiar voice reached her ears. She gasped and stopped dead in her tracks. It couldn't be.._

"_Brittany?" The voice called out again and Brittany felt tears erupt from her eyes like a waterfall. She frantically looked around but was met with nothing but darkness. Her chest felt tight, her head was spinning and her vision was blurry. She knew that she was seconds away from passing out. "Brittany, where are you?"_

_Brittany's attention instantly perked up again. "Santana!" She called out in a weak voice. A coughing fit followed and she grimaced in pain. There was no response and a feeling of dread surged through her body. "Santana, can you hear me?" She tried again, her eyes darting around in panic even though she couldn't see anything. "Please answer me!"_

_She tripped and fell to the hard ground, whimpering in desperation. Her fingers scratched at the solid surface beneath her as she tried to get to her feet. Santana's voice continued to call out for her and she wanted to reply but her mouth dried up and she couldn't get any words out. She started twitching and groaning when she felt flames burning her skin, trying to escape the fire…_

_Suddenly, she heard ringing. _

_It sounded far away. _

_A phone_.

Her phone.

Her phone was ringing loudly next to her ear. It was vibrating in her hand where she had left it last night before she had fallen asleep. Brittany sucked in a deep breath as she was jerked out of her nightmare and unintentionally pressed the talk button. Not realizing what she had done, she placed a hand on her chest and continued to pant, trying to calm herself down.

"Brittany?" Santana asked worriedly. All she could hear was gasping and Brittany muttering the same words in Dutch, "_het was maar een droom, het was niet echt" _(it was just a dream, it wasn't real), over and over again. It sounded like she was trying to console herself. Santana's brow furrowed and she called out a little louder, "Brittany!"

Brittany jumped, startled, and looked at the phone in her hand. She eyed it for a few moments, as if it was some deadly object, and then pressed it to her ear, speaking in a shaky voice. "Hello?"

"Britt, what's wrong?" Santana asked, concerned by how distressed her girlfriend sounded. "All I heard was gasping and you muttering something in Dutch…" She trailed off. It was now deadly silent on the other end of the line and Santana was becoming a little afraid. "Baby?"

Another few agonizingly long seconds of silence passed before Brittany let out a shuddering breath and asked, "I was speaking Dutch?"

Santana frowned in confusion. "Yeah, how can you not remember?"

"I have no idea." Brittany mumbled. She flung the covers off herself and got out of bed, stumbling her way into the bathroom. She put her phone aside and splashed some cold water on her face in an attempt to cool herself down a little. Her whole body was sweaty. She looked into the mirror and saw that there were dark circles under her eyes which were bloodshot. Sighing, she picked up her phone and pressed it to her ear again. "San?"

"I'm still here." Came the reply. Santana had no idea what was going on but she was relieved that Brittany seemed to have calmed down a little. She decided to let it go for now and ask her about what happened later. "I'm coming to pick you up."

"Where are we going?" Brittany asked curiously as she clumsily tried to strip off her clothes with her free hand.

Santana grinned. "I thought we could go ice-skating."

"Oh, I've never done that before." Brittany said excitedly, struggling to remove her sweat-stained shirt and just giving up altogether. She leaned against the sink and focused her attention fully on her conversation with Santana. "I have to work tonight though."

"Yeah, I know." Santana replied. "Don't worry, I'll drop you off at your apartment well before your shift starts so you'll have enough time to change." She knew that Brittany didn't feel comfortable changing at Joey's with the huge chance of someone walking in. "I'll pick you up in an hour, is that okay?"

"That's fine." Brittany smiled into the phone.

They exchanged a few words of goodbye before hanging up. Brittany sighed heavily and walked back into the bedroom to put her phone away. Her hands were still trembling slightly as a result of her nightmare but talking to Santana had calmed her down considerably. She quickly changed out of her clothes to take a much needed shower.

* * *

"Wait, slow down- Oomph!" Brittany groaned as she fell for what felt like the millionth time. Santana laughed and skated over to the blonde, stopping just in front of her. Brittany looked up at her and smiled sheepishly. "A little help maybe?"

They were skating at an ice-rink just outside the city. Or rather, Santana was skating and Brittany was attempting to. Brittany didn't care though, watching Santana move around and have fun was good enough for her. She looked so beautiful. Brittany could sit back and watch her all day.

Santana reached down to help her girlfriend to her feet, wrapping an arm around her waist to keep her steady. "You weren't kidding when you said that you couldn't skate." She teased, chuckling when Brittany playfully swatted her arm, faking a hurt expression. She kissed the tip of Brittany's nose and let go of her. "Come on, it's nothing that a little practice can't fix."

Brittany shot her a warm smile that made Santana's heart melt. They continued to skate and make slow progress until Brittany asked to take a break. They sat down on a bench on the side and unlaced their skates. Brittany could feel the warmth radiate off Santana's body and she wanted nothing more than to go home, curl up on the couch together and sleep forever.

Santana caught Brittany's gaze and smiled shyly. Her thoughts wondered back to their phone call from earlier. She wanted to ask Brittany what she had neglected to tell her but with the way her lips looked, she couldn't stop herself from leaning in for a kiss. Brittany hummed in approval and kissed back just as eagerly, trailing her tongue along Santana's bottom lip lightly and running her gloved hands up and down Santana's back as Santana placed her hands on Brittany's hips.

Everything was momentarily forgotten around them.

They parted and Brittany was trembling slightly, despite how warm and giddy she felt inside. Santana gently rubbed her hands up and down the blonde's arms in an attempt to warm her up. "Do you want to go back to your apartment? I can fix us something to eat before I drop you off at work." She suggested.

Brittany nodded. "That would be nice."

A while later, they walked into Brittany's apartment and Santana heard Brittany sigh in relief when the warm air hit her. She pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's cheek and told her to take a seat at the table while she prepared them something to eat. While the soup was cooking, Santana grabbed a blanket off the couch in the living room and wrapped it around Brittany's shoulders.

"Thanks." Brittany mumbled, blushing lightly. "You don't have to do all this."

"What? I'm just taking care of my girl." Santana shrugged, making Brittany blush harder.

Smiling, Santana poured the soup into two bowls and handed one to Brittany before sitting down across from her. After eating in silence for a while, Santana found herself looking at the taller girl curiously, trying to find the right way to bring up what she'd been wanting to bring up all day. Feeling Santana's eyes on her, Brittany looked up and met her gaze.

"What?" She asked, feeling a little self-conscious.

"We need to talk about this morning." Santana started. A nervous expression spread across Brittany's features and she looked down into her bowl, shaking her head. Santana sighed and put her spoon down, continuing in a serious yet gentle tone. "Britt, you know I'm not going to let this go."

Brittany bit her lip and put her spoon down as well. She knew.

"What happened?" Santana asked gently, trying to get Brittany to open up.

Fidgeting with her hands, Brittany sighed, "I have these nightmares."

Santana just looked at her patiently, waiting for her to explain.

Brittany looked down again as she began to speak. "I've been having them since my accident. At first they were more like flashbacks, like it was actually happening for a second time." She hesitantly met Santana's eyes and the brunette nodded to show her understanding. "But after a while they started to change." She took a deep breath and gazed into Santana's beautiful brown eyes again, this time not looking away. "I started having dreams of Jess being trapped inside the burning plane, of her calling out my name and me not being able to get to her because my legs wouldn't move. Then they started involving other people who weren't even there, like my parents."

Santana nodded silently. It was hard to hear how upset these nightmares obviously made her but she knew that there was more to come. She wasn't so sure if she wanted to hear it if it would result in Brittany being upset. Nevertheless, she grabbed Brittany's hand and gave it an encouraging squeeze, silently asking her to continue.

"Last night, or this morning… I don't know… I had one that scared me more than anything because… because it involved you." Brittany said shakily, her eyes getting slightly watery. "I-I was trapped in the fire and I heard your voice. I tried to get to you, I really did, but I fell and the flames caught up with me and… " Brittany's breath caught in her throat and she couldn't get the rest of her words out.

"Oh honey," Santana whispered, walking around the table and kneeling in front of her, placing her hands on her thighs. "I'm so sorry that you had to go through that. Why didn't you tell me?" Brittany sniffled and shrugged, looking down at her lap in embarrassment. Santana gently wiped away the single tear that had rolled down Brittany's cheek and tilted her face up, sighing softly when Brittany refused eye-contact. "Brittany, look at me." Sad blue eyes hesitantly met hers and she felt her heart clench in her chest. "You can talk to me about these things. You're my girlfriend and I want to be here for you."

Brittany nodded and Santana got up to wrap her arms around her girlfriend. Brittany snuggled into her embrace and sighed contentedly. She felt foolish but didn't want to move just yet. She felt safe in Santana's arms. Eventually, she drew in another shaky breath and said, "I'm sorry, San. I shouldn't have let such a stupid dream get to me. I'm just-"

"Being way too hard on yourself." Santana finished the sentence, pulling back to look at her. "You have nothing to apologize for, Britt."

"Okay, I'm sorry." Brittany mumbled.

Santana groaned and shook her head. Despite everything, Brittany found herself smiling and leaned in to give Santana a quick peck on the cheek. "I wish I didn't have to go to work." She pouted. "I'd rather spend my night with you."

"You know," Santana began slowly. "We've been together for a while now and you still haven't seen my apartment from the inside. Maybe you can sleep over tonight?" Brittany's eyes widened slightly and it took a moment for Santana to catch onto what she was thinking. "Oh- oh no, that's not what I meant. I know you want to wait until we do _that_."

Relief was evident on Brittany's face. "I'd love to see your apartment, San." She said with a smile.

Santana gave her a chaste kiss on the lips and returned to her seat. They finished eating their soup and Brittany got changed for work while Santana watched some TV. It warmed Brittany's heart to see how much Santana felt at home in her apartment. Having Santana around put her in such a good mood that she didn't think that anyone or anything could ruin it.

* * *

After being dropped off at Joey's and waving as Santana drove away, Brittany began to walk towards the entrance of the diner. She couldn't stop smiling even if she wanted to, which she didn't. A few months ago she never would've imagined feeling this happy but that was before Santana had come into her life. She didn't know how she got this lucky, or why, but she definitely wasn't complaining.

Brittany was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice what was going on in front of her until she had almost reached the door. Loud voices caught her attention and she turned her head to see Marley standing there with her boyfriend. They appeared to be having a heated argument as both of them were gesturing wildly with their hands. Brittany was sure that the people inside the diner could hear them too.

She carefully inched closer and spoke in a low voice. "Hey, can you maybe take this somewhere else?"

Their heads snapped up in her direction and Zach narrowed his eyes at her. "Why don't you mind your own business?"

"Zach, don't be rude." Marley hissed, shooting him an annoyed glare. He scoffed and shook his head, mumbling something under his breath. Marley sighed and closed her eyes for a moment before looking at Brittany apologetically. "I'm sorry, Brittany. Zach was just leaving."

"Fine." Zach snapped angrily as he stormed off.

Brittany frowned at his retreating form and then focused her attention on Marley who looked as if she was about to cry. Brittany placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Are you okay?" She asked and immediately realized what a stupid question it was. "I mean, do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really." Marley said as she wiped at her eyes. "We argue about everything these days. Things aren't the way they used to be and I don't know what to do about it."

Brittany bit her lip in thought. She didn't know Zach that well but the way he treated Marley was unacceptable. "Why don't you just leave him?" She asked softly, searching Marley's eyes. "He treats you like crap and you don't deserve that."

"I wish it was that easy but it's not." Marley replied as they walked into the diner. "I can't just throw away a relationship of four years."

Brittany didn't respond to this and sighed, dejected as they made their way into the back room to put their things away. They emerged a few minutes later and Brittany was relieved to see that only two tables were occupied at the moment. It looked as if it would be an easy night.

In the following hours, not even one customer came through the doors and Brittany was close to falling asleep out of boredom. She took a bathroom break and was pleasantly surprised to see Noah and Sam sitting at the counter when she returned. They were still wearing their uniforms so Brittany assumed that they had just gotten off work.

"Hey guys." She greeted them with a smile. "Grabbing a late dinner?"

"Yeah." Noah mumbled around a mouthful of fries. Brittany scrunched up her nose in disgust. He took a few gulps of soda before speaking again, "It's dead in here."

"I know." Brittany sighed.

"You can go if you want to." Marley said from beside her. "We're closing up in an hour anyway so I'll be fine."

Brittany shook her head. "Thank you but I need the money. You look tired though." She commented, taking in her friend's tired eyes, figuring that her argument with Zach was probably the cause. "It's okay if you want to go home and get some sleep. I'll finish up here."

"Are you sure?" Marley asked and Brittany nodded. "Thanks, Britt."

Brittany just smiled and watched as she disappeared into the back room. She chatted with Noah and Sam while they ate, thankful for the distraction. Time passed a lot faster now that she had something to do, which meant that she was closer to getting to hang out with Santana again.

"How's Mercedes?" She asked after a while.

"She's great." Sam replied, his eyes lighting up. "We should all have dinner together soon and catch up."

"How about this weekend?" Noah suggested.

"That works for me." Sam told him with a shrug. Brittany nodded in agreement and Sam grinned at her. "You should bring your girl. I can't wait to meet her."

Brittany wasn't even surprised that Noah had already updated him on her love life. She shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and was barely able to suppress a wide smile at the mention of Santana. "I'll ask her."

Her eyes met Noah's and he shot her a warm smile. She knew that he was incredibly proud of her for finally telling Santana the truth and his support meant the world to her. Looking back, she realized that she could've saved herself a lot of unnecessary fear but it didn't matter now because opening up to Santana had been a huge step for her and she had surprised herself with it. Sometimes she still found it hard to believe that Santana actually wanted to be with her though and it would probably take a while for to stop expecting this to turn out to be a dream after all.

Noah and Sam ended up staying until closing time. They offered to drop Brittany off at Santana's place but Brittany told them that she could easily walk there since Santana practically lived around the corner. She somehow still remembered the instructions Quinn had given her months ago so it didn't take long before she was knocking on Santana's door.

Santana opened the door and Brittany grinned widely when she saw that her girlfriend was wearing the sweater she had borrowed from her a few weeks ago. She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around Santana's neck, whispering in her ear, "Hi baby."

"I missed you." Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek as she wrapped her arms around her waist. They stood there for several moments before Santana pulled away and took Brittany's hand, guiding her further inside. "How was work?"

"Boring." Brittany said as she looked around the apartment. It wasn't huge but definitely bigger than hers. It was spacious and simply decorated. There was a large bookshelf standing against the wall with a chair in front of it and Brittany couldn't help but smile because it was just so Santana. "You have a nice place, San."

"Thanks." Santana said, watching as Brittany walked around the room. "Do you want something to eat?"

Brittany turned to look at her. "Not really. I think I just want to take a shower and go to bed if that's okay."

"Of course that's okay." Santana smiled, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer. "Now give me a proper kiss." Brittany leaned in but then pulled away at the last second, teasingly. Santana rolled her eyes and cupped the blonde's cheek, pressing her lips against hers and kissing her deeply. Brittany let out a soft moan in contentment, her hand going to the back of Santana's head, fingers tangling in her hair. They parted and Santana gently brushed her thumb over Brittany's lips. "The bathroom is down the hall. I'm just going to finish up some work."

Brittany nodded and gave her one last peck on the lips before walking away. Santana smiled and returned to where her laptop was standing so she could finish up part of the article she was working on.

Fifteen minutes later, Santana closed her laptop and made her way into the bedroom. Brittany had finished showering and was standing next to the bed. She was only wearing sweatpants and was in the middle of putting on a t-shirt. Her head snapped up at the sound of approaching footsteps and her eyes widened in panic as she instantly brought her arms up to cover her exposed chest, dropping the t-shirt in the process. Santana watched as she turned away, her shoulders tense, eyes staring at the floor.

"Brittany," Santana whispered, feeling a tightening in her heart. She slowly stepped closer to Brittany so that she was standing directly behind her. "Don't hide from me." The blonde tensed slightly when Santana wrapped her arms around her waist but soon enough relaxed in her warm embrace. Santana pressed a lingering kiss to her shoulder. "I've already seen you once and you were so stunningly beautiful that night. The way you trusted me… I can't even begin to describe how much it meant to me."

She bent down to pick Brittany's t-shirt up and handed it to her. Brittany quickly slipped it on and finally turned around to face her. The expression on her face was one that Santana recognized as guilt and she mumbled a quiet, "Thank you."

"Hey, don't feel bad." Santana cooed, cupping her cheek.

Brittany sighed and leaned into her touch. "I just don't understand how you can think I'm beautiful."

"How can I not?" Santana asked softly, her thumb slowly stroking Brittany's jaw. She could see the sadness and uncertainty in Brittany's blue orbs. Brittany's mouth started to form words but Santana cut her off. "Please stop doubting yourself, Brittany. It hurts me when you do that. You're perfect in my eyes, whether you believe it or not."

For once, Brittany didn't protest and just nodded slowly.

Santana wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and pressed her lips to her temple. "Let's go to bed."

Brittany nodded again and hugged her back tightly. After they broke apart, Brittany crawled into bed as Santana started her nightly routine to get ready. Once she was finished, she got under the covers and snuggled close to Brittany. She lowered her head to press a kiss to Brittany's forehead but Brittany lifted her face so it landed on her lips instead. Santana was once again amazed by how much passion could be behind such a gentle kiss. The effect of Brittany's lips on hers never failed to make her heart quicken.

Santana cuddled into Brittany's side, resting her head on the blonde's chest and wrapping an arm around her waist securely. Brittany smiled and slowly dragged her fingers down Santana's arm until she reached her hand, intertwining their fingers.

* * *

Brittany groaned at the sound of her phone alarm going off and squeezed her eyes shut tighter. She didn't want to leave the warmth radiating off the body curled up against her. She had to get up and get ready for work though so she forced her eyelids open. Santana was still fast asleep and Brittany couldn't help but smile at how adorable she looked. Brittany slowly slipped out of bed, careful not to wake Santana up, and started to get ready.

She easily found her way around the apartment and walked into the kitchen to prepare herself some coffee. Her phone suddenly vibrated in her pocket and she quickly pulled it out. At first she was a little confused about why her mom was calling her at this time but then she remembered that her mom always woke up early.

"Hello." She answered the call tiredly.

"Hey, lieverd." Brittany winced at how cheery her mom's voice sounded. It was definitely too early for this. "Is this a bad time? It's been so long since you've called."

Brittany briefly contemplated saying 'yes' but she felt bad that it had once again been so long since she had last spoken to her parents. Her mom started rambling about something that Brittany only half-listened to. It wasn't until she mentioned coming home to visit that Brittany's attention perked up again.

She sighed. "Mom, I told you that I can't come home right now."

"Why not?" Susan asked. "I know that you haven't taken a single day off in years so I'm sure that Joey would understand."

"Let me guess, you spoke with Noah." Brittany muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Yes and he also told me that there have been some interesting developments in your life." Susan said, making Brittany sigh. "That was all he said though so feel free to enlighten me."

"Do you remember that time you called me after I had just gotten home from a date with a girl named Santana?" It was an unnecessary question; her mom always remembered these sort of things. Still, she waited for a hum of confirmation before continuing. "Well, she's my girlfriend now."

There was a second of silence before an excited reply came. "Oh lieverd, I'm so happy to hear that! Tell me everything about her. What does she look like?"

Brittany took a sip from her coffee before she spoke with a small smile on her face. "Well, she has dark hair and the most beautiful brown eyes I've ever seen. She's smart, funny and so talented. She writes for Schuester's Magazine. You know the magazine about music?"

"She sounds lovely, honey." Susan commented, feeling her heart warm up at how happy Brittany sounded. She hesitated for a moment, knowing that this was a sensitive subject to Brittany, but then asked, "Does she know about your accident?"

"She does." Brittany confirmed. "I told her everything and she was so understanding. I even showed her my… scars and she wasn't disgusted or anything. She says that it doesn't matter to her."

"I'm so proud of you." Brittany blushed at her mom's compliment. "You should bring her when you come to visit. Your dad and I would love to meet her."

Just like that, Brittany's smile disappeared. "It's not that I don't want to visit, mom, but I just can't right now." Her mom tried to say something but Brittany cut her off. "Please don't offer to pay for my plane ticket again because you know that I'll refuse. If I travel by bus, I'll have to take extra time off and they need me at the diner."

"Have you even discussed it with Joey?" Susan asked. Brittany remained silent so she sighed. "Look Brittany, I know that it's hard for you to allow yourself to relax but I think that it would be good for you. We could always come to you but you would still be working every day."

Brittany pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'll think about it."

"Sure, that's fine." Her mom sounded hopeful. "Take all the time you need."

"Well, I have to go to work soon. I promise that I'll try to call more often."

"Okay, lieverd. I love you."

Brittany smiled a little. "I love you too, mom."

She ended the call and shoved her phone back into her pocket. The sound of someone clearing their throat behind her startled her and she turned around. Santana was standing there with a curious expression on her face and Brittany shot her a small smile. "Hey, what are you doing out of bed this early?"

"I woke up and wanted to see you before you left." Santana said with a shrug. She stepped closer to Brittany and tilted her head questioningly. "I couldn't help but overhear part of your conversation with your mom. Is everything okay?"

Brittany sighed. "She wants us to come visit but I told her that we can't."

"Why is that?" Santana asked, smiling a little when she realized that Brittany had told her mom about them.

"Because of work." Brittany frowned, leaning against the counter. "We can't just take time off."

"Of course we can." Santana said as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Brittany just stared at her with a blank expression on her face so she smiled softly and reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind the blonde's ear. "I'm sure that your boss wouldn't mind if you took a few days off. You've been working your ass of at that place for years."

Brittany bit her lip in thought. She knew that Joey would happily give her some free time if she'd ask but there was still something holding her back so she easily came up with another excuse. "I can't afford a bus ticket and I don't really want to let my parents pay for it."

"Baby, I have a car." Santana reminded her. Brittany again didn't say anything so she continued. "I'm not going to pressure you if you don't want to go but I think it'd be good for you."

"That's exactly what my mom said." Brittany mumbled, earning a smile from Santana. She sighed and decided to repeat her words from earlier, "I'll think about it."

Santana just nodded and changed the subject. "Have you had breakfast?"

Brittany shook her head and before she had the chance protest, Santana was already busy fixing her something to eat. Brittany smiled and just watched her in silence, admiring her ability to look so beautiful when she had just woken up.

After breakfast, Santana walked Brittany to the door. "Do you have everything?"

"Yes. Thanks for breakfast." Brittany said. Santana just smiled and leaned in to give her a kiss on the lips. Just as she was about to pull away, Brittany placed her hands on her hips to keep her in place and kissed her again. She smiled when her eyes met warm brown ones. "I'll see you later."

Santana returned the smile and waited until her girlfriend was out of sight before she closed the door.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: _Thanks to everyone who is reading this story. Enjoy the next chapter! :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 9.**

_"What is this about, Santana?" Mrs. Lopez asked, standing beside her husband. _

_Before Santana had the chance to say anything, Mr. Lopez looked at her excitedly and exclaimed, "I bet you got yourself a boyfriend, didn't you?"_

_Santana's eyes widened. Shock and happiness crawled across her mom's features and she ran up to Santana, kissing both of her cheeks. "Really? Is this true?"_

_"No, ma-"_

_"When do we get to meet this young man?" Mr. Lopez asked. _

_"Papi, I-"_

_"He must be so handsome," Mrs. Lopez sighed with a dreamy look on her face. "You must invite him over for dinner, mija!"_

_"Listen to me!" Santana cried out in frustration. They both looked at her, slightly surprised and she sank back into the couch, nervously twiddling her thumbs. She took a deep breath and said, "I don't have a boyfriend. That's not what I want to tell you."_

_Their faces fell and Santana felt her stomach drop. A few moments of silence passed before Mrs. Lopez spoke in a soothing voice, "Don't worry, Santana. I'm sure that you'll find a nice boy who-"_

_"No, mami." Santana shook her head. "I won't."_

_Mr. Lopez frowned at his daughter. "Don't be foolish, Santana, of course-" _

_"No, no I won't because-" Santana stopped to swallow the lump in her throat, tears welling up in her eyes. "Because I'm- I'm gay." She whispered the last word but everyone still heard it. _

_Silence. There was nothing but deafening silence. Santana couldn't control her tears and just let them slide down her cheek freely. She wanted nothing more than for someone to say something, anything, and suddenly her dad did,_

_"Don't say such ridiculous things!" Mr. Lopez spat, sudden venom dripping in his tone as he looked at her with anger burning in his eyes. "No daughter of mine will be gay. I won't allow it!" He was yelling by now and Santana flinched, lowering her eyes to the ground, trying not to look scared. "You are NOT gay, Santana. Do you hear me?" _

_"Papi, please." Santana pleaded . "Just... just hear me out okay?" She stood up on shaky legs and carefully walked in her dad's direction, leaving some distance between them. She took a deep, steadying breath, glancing at her mom who hadn't said a word. Santana couldn't tell whether she looked angry or disappointed. "Look, I know that you have issues with people like… well people like me but please just try to accept it because I'm gay and-…"_

_Before she could register what was going on, her dad backhanded her across the face, sending her spinning to the floor. Santana faintly head her mom cry out her name as pain erupted in her cheek, more tears spilling from her eyes as she heard those hateful words from her once proud father._

"_Silencio! Don't speak to me in that tone!" Mr. Lopez growled dangerously, pointing his finger in Santana's now reddened and tear streaked face. "You are not gay! You cannot be my daughter if you are gay! Go to your room and never speak of this again!"_

_Santana looked up at him in disbelief. "Papi, please…" _

"_NOW!" He screamed._

* * *

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked Santana with a nervous smile, glancing at her from her spot in the driver's seat. They were on their way to meet up with Noah, Mercedes and Sam and Santana had let Brittany drive her car. The brunette blinked a few times and looked at her with a confused expression on her face. Brittany's smile faltered. "What's wrong, babe?"

Santana swallowed thickly. "I'm fine."

Brittany frowned, seeing right through the lie. "Are you sure? You went all sad panda on me."

"I was just... thinking." Santana said quickly, not wanting Brittany to worry.

Brittany glanced at her again before turning her eyes back on the road. "About what?"

"Nothing." Santana shrugged. Brittany's frown deepened and Santana sighed, reaching out to place her hand on the blonde's knee. "Don't worry Britt, I was just remembering some stuff."

Brittany nodded unsurely. "Please don't think too hard, okay?" Without taking her eyes off the road, she placed her hand on top of Santana's and gave it a soft squeeze. "You make me nervous when you do that."

"I'll try." Santana told her.

Brittany gave her a small smile but didn't remove her hand. They pulled up in front of the restaurant and Brittany parked the car. She quickly got out and walked around the vehicle to open the door for Santana, helping her out. Santana smiled and smoothed the bottom of her dress down before taking Brittany's hand.

They made their way inside, about ten minutes late, and walked up to the hostess who greeted them with a friendly smile. "Good evening, ladies. How may I help you?"

"Hi, we're meeting our friends here." Brittany explained. "Evans is what the reservation should be under."

"Right this way." The man said before showing them to a table in the corner.

"That took you long enough." Noah said playfully when he caught sight of them. Brittany rolled her eyes at him and waited until he was standing before giving him a quick hug. After greeting Mercedes and Sam as well, she took a moment to scan the fairly busy restaurant. It was a lot fancier than she had thought and she couldn't help but worry about how expensive it was going to be. Her smile vanished completely when she noticed that there was dance floor but she shook her head to herself and forced her smile back in place. "It's nice to see you again, Santana."

Noah's voice snapped her back to reality and she looked at Santana who smiled at Noah. "I'm sorry that we're late. Britt couldn't decide on what to wear."

"As usual." Noah commented.

Brittany shot him a playful glare and was just about to take a seat when Santana squeezed her hand to get her attention. She looked at her girlfriend in confusion, only realizing what she meant when she nodded at Mercedes and Sam. Right. Brittany unlaced their fingers and wrapped an arm around Santana's waist. "Guys, this is my girlfriend Santana." She said with a proud smile.

After everyone had been introduced to each other, Santana and Brittany took a seat next to each other. They ordered their drinks and began to look through the menu while chatting lightly. Brittany felt herself begin to panic when she saw how high the prices were. She couldn't afford this, not with all the bills she still had to pay.

"So Santana," Mercedes started after she had finished looking through the menu. "How did you and Brittany meet?"

Santana had already been wondering when the interrogation would start. She smiled. "We met at Joey's. I was having lunch there with my best friend Quinn while Brittany was working. The moment I saw her I just knew that there was something special about her. It took a while but eventually I asked her out and well, she rejected me."

"Brittany!" Mercedes scolded the blonde, giving her a serious look.

"I was so shocked that I didn't know how to react." Brittany defended herself. "I stopped by her work the next day but she wasn't there so Quinn gave me the address of her apartment. I asked her if she still wanted to go on a date, even after the way I acted, and she said yes."

"She was so nervous." Santana smiled at the memory. "It was adorable."

"Aw, that is so cute." Mercedes cooed as Brittany blushed.

Sam nodded in agreement. "What do you do for a living, Santana?"

"I'm a writer."

The conversation carried on for a while. Sam and Mercedes asked Santana questions about herself and Santana came up with questions of her own to ask. Mercedes informed them that she'd started with the recording process of her album which was really exciting. Brittany tried to listen to what everyone was saying but she had a hard time focusing. She couldn't help but worry about how she was going to pay for her and Santana's meals. It would've been a good idea to check out the restaurant online beforehand but it was too late for that now.

The waitress took their orders and Santana frowned slightly when Brittany only ordered a salad, claiming that she wasn't hungry. She didn't comment on it though and turned her attention to Sam. "So, how long have you and Mercedes known each other?"

"We've known each other since high school." Sam said, smiling at his girlfriend. "I can share enough embarrassing stories about her to get us through dinner."

"Oh, this is going to be good." Noah smirked, sitting up a little straighter.

A while later, they had finished eating their dinner and Sam led Mercedes onto the dance floor while Noah excused himself to the bathroom, leaving Brittany and Santana alone. Santana scooted a little closer to her girlfriend so that their thighs were touching. "Do you want to dan-…" She stopped herself mid-sentence when Brittany shook her head. Santana studied her features for a second before asking, "What's wrong?"

Brittany bit her lip. "Nothing."

"You're worried about something." Santana stated, placing her hand on the blonde's lower back and rubbing small circles over the area. At Brittany's lack of response, she added, "Are you not feeling well? Do you want me to take you home?"

Brittany shook her head, her expression troubled. "It's not that. This restaurant is… expensive and I- I don't…" She stuttered, fumbling a little. "I want to pay for our meals but I don't- I don't think that I can afford it."

"Oh babe," Santana sighed, feeling slightly relieved that it wasn't something more serious. The look on Brittany's face was heartbreaking though, her eyes sad and downcast, embarrassment written all over her features. "It's okay." Santana said softly, pressing a kiss to a flushed cheek. "I don't mind paying."

"But I really wanted to do something nice for you, you know?" Brittany mumbled, glancing away from her. "I hate never being able to buy things for you."

"Just spending time with you is good enough for me." Santana said, taking Brittany's hand and giving it a gentle squeeze, urging her to look up. When blue eyes met hers, she leaned in and pressed a kiss to her girlfriend's lips to let her know that she had nothing to worry about. "I hate it when you're sad, Britt. What can I do to cheer you up?"

Brittany blushed a little before shyly saying, "Another kiss would be nice."

Santana smiled and captured her lips for a second time, this time kissing her more passionately, both of them momentarily forgetting where they were. Brittany slowly ran her fingers through Santana's hair and deepened the kiss, not being able to resist her girlfriend's full lips. Santana's body reacted immediately and she whimpered into Brittany's mouth.

"Christ, keep it in your pants, would you?" Noah's voice interrupted the moment. They broke apart, both slightly out of breath and Noah shook his head at them. "I can't with you two."

Brittany sank back into her seat and briefly let her eyes shift to the dance floor. Everyone looked so happy, moving to the music, something that she didn't deserve to do anymore. She clenched her jaw and forced herself to look away. Dancing was part of her past now. She had to accept that. Santana's hand returned to rubbing small circles on her lower back and she instantly felt herself start to relax a little.

* * *

At the end of the evening, they all said goodbye with the promise to hang out again soon. On the way back to Brittany's apartment, the two chatted about nothing in particular and the car soon came to a stop, much to Brittany's disappointment. She turned in her seat to face Santana who was sitting behind the wheel. "So…" She trailed off, not quite sure what she wanted to say. All she knew was that she didn't want Santana to leave but she also didn't want to be clingy.

Santana flashed her an amused smirk. "So?"

"Do you…" She paused and bit her lip in thought. "Never mind."

"Is it okay if I stay over?" Santana asked suddenly, sensing what Brittany wanted to ask. "I don't like the thought of sleeping alone now that I know what it's like to wake up next to you."

Brittany's eyes lit up and she nodded. "I'd like that."

When they got inside, Brittany lent Santana some comfortable clothes before they took separate turns to shower. The sight that greeted Brittany when she exited the bedroom made her smile. Her girlfriend was dancing in the kitchen, hips swaying and body moving to the soft sound of music drifting out into the kitchen from the living room. Brittany slowly walked closer to her, careful not to make any noise, and when Santana turned away from the counter, Brittany slipped one arm around her waist and captured her lips in a chaste kiss.

Santana blushed furiously. "Hi."

"What are you doing?" Brittany stepped closer to Santana and slipped her other arm around Santana's waist too, bringing her hands to the hem of her shirt and slightly lifting it up to run her fingers over her girlfriend's warm skin, smiling when she felt Santana shudder at the touch.

"I'm making us hot chocolate. With marshmallows." Santana replied, looking at the ingredients that were spread out across the counter and then back at Brittany, kissing her cheek and placing her hands on the blonde's shoulders. "For before bed."

"That's sweet." Brittany said, smiling at how adorable her girlfriend was being. "Nice dance moves, by the way."

"I wasn't dancing!"

Brittany grinned at her. "You so were."

"I was not!"

"Why are you embarrassed? It was cute."

"I'm not cute." Santana protested, a bright red flush covering her face and spreading down to her neck. Brittany just shot her an amused look. Santana looked at her for a few seconds and then sighed exaggeratingly, pulling the blonde closer. "Fine. Let's dance."

"W-what?" Brittany stammered, her eyebrows rising in surprise. Santana wrapped her arms around her neck and rested her head on her shoulder, swaying them from side to side to the slow song that was now playing. Brittany felt her heartbeat speed up and she exhaled shakily. "What are you doing?"

Santana lifted her head and found Brittany's eyes. "Dance with me."

"San," Brittany started to say something but Santana leaned in and kissed her softly. She rested their foreheads together and held Brittany's gaze for a long moment, searching her eyes. Some sort of unspoken agreement passed between the two of them and Santana started to move again, nuzzling her face in the curve of Brittany's neck. Brittany closed her eyes and tried to relax. She didn't know how something could feel so right and wrong at the same time. "Santana, maybe we should…"

"Shh." Santana silenced her, pressing her lips just below her ear. Brittany pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and took a moment to enjoy the feeling of holding Santana like this, inhaling the clean smell of her shampoo. Eventually, the song faded out but Santana didn't pull away. "Why don't you dance anymore, Britt?"

She felt Brittany tense up. "You know why."

"I don't. Tell me."

Brittany shuddered and clutched Santana's shirt tightly in her fisted hands, keeping her as close as possible. "I couldn't go on after my accident." She whispered. "I was out of it for a long time."

"That's not the real reason." Santana spoke calmly into the soft skin of Brittany's neck before placing a delicate kiss there. Brittany's heart constricted uncomfortably and she took a deep breath. Why could Santana read her so well? Santana slowly ran her hand up and down her back, soothingly. "Tell me."

Brittany felt her shoulders begin to shake with suppressed emotions. She didn't want to talk about this. "It doesn't matter." She said softly, hating the way her voice cracked and breaking away from Santana's embrace. "Can we please talk about something else?"

"It does matter." Santana countered, wanting Brittany to open up to her. "Talk to me, Brittany."

Brittany shook her head, turning away from her and mumbling something that Santana failed to understand.

"What was that?"

"Nothing."

"Tell me." Santana repeated her earlier words.

"Why are you pushing this?" Brittany asked angrily, crossing her arms over her chest.

Santana knew that she had to choose her next words carefully. "I want to help you but I can't do that if you won't talk to me. You don't have to tell me everything but I just want to know what's going on inside your head ."

Brittany was silent for a second. "You want to know what's going on inside my head?"

"Yes." Santana said softly.

"She's dead because of me!" Brittany finally snapped, whirling around to face Santana, her eyes hard and burning with anger. "That's all I can think about! Jess is dead because of me! She was on that plane because of me! She would have still been here if it wasn't for that stupid dance competition! How can I go on with something that took my best friend's life?"

"Britt-"

"She's gone and she's never coming back. She's gone and it's all my fault!" Santana's eyes widened when Brittany slammed her hands down on the counter. She wasn't used to seeing her girlfriend like this but at least she was talking, or rather, yelling. "She had so much to live for but now she's gone and it's just- it's just not fair!"

"Brittany, calm down." Santana tried to reach out for her girlfriend but the blonde shook her head and held up her hand, silently telling her to stay away.

"You wanted to hear this, right?" Brittany took a step backwards. "Now you know. Now you know that I can't stop reliving those final moments in my head over and over again. I can't stop seeing the fear and panic in Jess's eyes. She was trying to put on a brave face for me but I know that she was terrified. I can't stop wondering if she knew. If she knew that her life was about to be taken away from her as if it meant nothing. I can still see the blood, smell burning flesh, hear the screams… It's exhausting and I just want it to _stop_."

"Come here." Santana said firmly, closing the distance between them and enveloping her girlfriend in a tight hug. Brittany struggled weakly for a moment but then gave up and let her arms drop loosely by her sides in defeat, burying her face in Santana's shoulder. "You've got it all wrong." Santana spoke softly, her lips pressed to the shell of Brittany's ear. "What happened to Jess was an accident, you can't blame yourself when there was no one at fault. I never knew her but from what you've told me, I can safely say that she really loved you and wouldn't want you to feel this way. I know it's hard, it'll probably never be easy, but she'd want you to move on."

"But why her? Why not me?" Brittany whimpered in frustration, squeezing her eyes shut and adding the next part in a whisper, "It should've been me."

"Honey, you've got to stop doing this to yourself." Santana reached her hand up to cradle Brittany's head that was still pressed against her shoulder, gently scratching her nails across her scalp. "It was an accident. There was nothing that you could've done." Brittany didn't respond but Santana could feel the frantic beating of her heart when she pressed her lips to the side of her pale neck. "I know that you don't like to talk about this but you can't keep everything bottled up inside. You're only human. You can't block everything out."

"I'm fine." Brittany mumbled stubbornly.

"You're not fine, Britt." Santana sighed. "I think you need to discuss this with someone."

"I'm discussing it with you right now."

"That's not what I meant." Santana pulled back slightly to meet Brittany's eyes. "I think you need to see a professional about this, Brittany."

"No." Brittany shook her head with tears welling up in her eyes. "Everyone is always telling me that; Noah, Tina, my parents… Not you too, _please_."

"Okay." Santana reluctantly agreed, deciding to let it go for now. "But can you do something else for me?" Brittany looked at her nervously and gave her a small nod in reply. "You think that you don't deserve happiness but you do." Brittany tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and lowered her head, focusing her eyes on her feet. Santana sighed sadly and placed her finger under Brittany's chin, tilting her face back up. "I could see the longing look in your eyes when others were dancing at the restaurant. It spoke volumes. You gave up on what you love doing the most because you're punishing yourself for something that you had no control over. It's not right, Brittany."

"What are you trying to say, San?" Brittany asked softly.

"Dancing was your love and I want to bring it back to you." Santana explained, taking Brittany's hand in her own. "Maybe you won't reach the same level you were once at or maybe you will. It doesn't matter. I just want you to be happy. That's why I'm asking you to give it another chance, take some classes to get back into it, let go of the past. Don't give up on your dream."

"But I'm scared." Brittany admitted in a small voice, looking slightly embarrassed.

"I know, baby." Santana replied, pressing a kiss to the back of Brittany's hand. "But I believe in you."

Brittany sighed and took a moment to think everything over. "Okay." She finally said. "I'll try."

"That's all I'm asking from you." Santana said softly, pressing a sweet kiss to the corner of Brittany's mouth, holding the contact for a moment before pulling back and catching Brittany's gaze. Brittany dropped her hands to hold onto her waist and pulled her impossibly close, lightly brushing her nose against Santana's before pressing their lips together. Santana melted into the kiss and teasingly slid her tongue across Brittany's bottom lip, earning an eager moan from Brittany who parted her lips to allow her access.

They kissed for a few minutes before Santana pulled away with a smile, spinning Brittany around in her arms. "I'll never be able make us hot chocolate if you keep distracting me."

Brittany glanced over her shoulder and shot her a playful wink before walking away.

* * *

An hour later, they were lying in bed, Santana on her back with her arms wrapped tightly around Brittany, their legs tangled together and Brittany's head resting comfortably on Santana's chest. They were both still awake and just relishing each other's company.

"San?" Brittany spoke up quietly, almost as if she was afraid of disturbing the comfortable silence that had fallen over them. It was said so sweetly that Santana's heart warmed up and she couldn't help but smile. She made a noise of acknowledgement and Brittany continued, "I've thought about visiting my parents like I said I would."

"And?" Santana encouraged as she began to run her fingers through Brittany's soft hair.

Brittany was silent for a moment, enjoying the feeling of Santana's gentle touch. "And I've come to the conclusion that maybe it'd be nice to go home for a few days." She said, breathing in Santana's scent and nuzzling her nose against her girlfriend's collar bone. "Will you join me?"

Santana pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Sure, baby."

Brittany sighed happily and closed her eyes, cuddling even closer to Santana. Santana listened to Brittany's steady breathing for a few moments and assumed that she had fallen asleep when she whispered another adorable, "San?"

Santana smiled tenderly. "Yeah Britt?"

"How come you never talk about your parents?" Brittany asked softly. At her words, Santana halted the movements of her hand and Brittany slightly lifted her head to meet Santana's gaze. "I know that things are complicated but don't you… miss them?"

Santana shifted her gaze away from Brittany's and clenched her jaw, exhaling slowly before speaking in a low, even voice. "I'd rather not talk about them."

Brittany's brow furrowed. "You pushed me into talking about my feelings and now you're refusing to talk about yours?" Her frown deepened at Santana's lack of response and she pulled back further to see Santana's face more clearly. "Don't you think that's a little unfair?"

"Can we not do this right now?" Santana asked, frustrated. Her voice came out a little harsher than intended and she instantly felt guilty. Brittany's expression, however, remained unchanged, piercing blue eyes trying to read her, leaving her feeling slightly vulnerable. She rested her hand on Brittany's lower back and lightly pressed down. "Let's just go to sleep, okay? I'm tired."

Brittany sighed and lowered her head to Santana's chest again, pressing her right ear against the skin above her heart, shifting to get comfortable. She pressed a kiss to the underside of Santana's jaw and softly said, "I'm always here if you do want to talk. You know that, right?"

That was all Santana needed to hear. She tightened her arms around Brittany and nuzzled her nose into her hair. "I…" She began but then realized what she was about to say and panicked. "I know."

"Good." Brittany mumbled sleepily against the soft warmth of her skin.

Santana lay awake long after Brittany had fallen asleep. It was only when she knew that Brittany wasn't able to hear her that she was brave enough to say the words that she had been so desperate to say to her when she was still awake. She felt like it was too soon but that didn't change how she felt about Brittany. "I think I love you, Brittany."


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: _Thanks for all the reviews and follows :) I hope you enjoy this next chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 10.**

Santana nervously drummed her thumbs on the steering wheel as she drove. They had been on the road since yesterday and had stopped to stay at a motel overnight. Her heartbeat sped up a little when they neared the house Brittany grew up in. She couldn't help but suddenly feel worried. From what she had gathered, Brittany's parents were really protective of her so it was important for her to make a good first impression. As if sensing her thoughts, Brittany reached out and grabbed her hand, running her thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

"Just relax, San." She told her sweetly. "It'll be fine."

Santana swallowed and nodded silently. Despite her nerves, she was also really excited to meet Brittany's parents. It was the next step in their relationship. It had taken some planning but they had both gotten a few days off of work. Brittany's boss had definitely been surprised when Brittany asked him about it but instantly agreed to give her some time to focus on herself.

When they reached the right house, Santana turned off the car and took a deep breath. Brittany shot her an assuring smile before they both got out. She walked around the vehicle and came to a stop directly in front of her girlfriend, tilting her head questioningly, surprised by the amount of insecurity Santana's eyes suddenly showed. "Baby," She said softly, resting her hands on Santana's hips and placing a light kiss on her lips. "It's okay."

"I just don't want to screw this up." Santana admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"You won't." Came Brittany's simple reply. The words were said with so much certainty that Santana instantly believed her. She leaned forward and attached her lips to Brittany's again, moving one hand to the back of Brittany's neck and settling the other on her shoulder, making it a sweet, light kiss that Brittany deepened, guiding her steps until her back was pressed against the car.

Santana's hand traveled down Brittany's bicep and she wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist, pushing her tongue past the blonde's lips, eagerly exploring her mouth. Brittany slowly ran her hands up and down Santana's back and paused at her ass, squeezing gently, causing Santana to moan into her mouth.

At the sound of someone loudly clearing their throat, Santana jumped in surprise and broke the kiss, withdrawing her hands from Brittany immediately. Brittany shot her a confused look and she nodded in the direction of the house, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

She couldn't believe that this was happening.

Brittany's eyes brightened and she hurriedly walked up to the tall man that was standing by the door, smiling widely when he enveloped her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around before safely setting her down again. Santana would've smiled at how cute Brittany's giggle sounded if she wasn't frightened out of her mind.

"I missed you, bug." Brittany's dad said with a smile, brushing the hair away from Brittany's face, as if examining her. "I'm so glad you're here."

Before Brittany had the chance to say anything, her mom appeared next to them and she was pulled into another hug. The embrace was so tight that Brittany struggled to breathe. After a few minutes, she managed to pry herself loose and allowed her mom to look her over the same way her dad had done before. Her eyes landed on Santana who was still nervously shifting from foot to foot by the car and she quickly walked back to her.

With a quick peck on the cheek, Brittany grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her forward. "Mom, Dad," She started, squeezing Santana's hand. "I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Santana."

Their eyes turned to Santana and Santana gulped nervously. "I-It's nice to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Pierce." She said in a shaky voice, offering her hand. "Thanks for having me."

Brittany's mom ignored Santana's hand completely and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug instead, taking Santana by surprise. "I'm sorry but we're huggers in this family." The older woman chuckled as she pulled away. "It's great to finally meet you. Please call me Susan."

"And call me Martin." Brittany's dad added, giving her a timid nod in greeting. "Let me help you with your bags."

"I already started dinner." Susan informed them as she led them further inside the house. Santana let her eyes scan the place, carefully taking everything in. It was cozy, not too small, not too big. Various picture frames adorned the white colored walls, holding images of a younger Brittany or the Pierce family together. Santana smiled at how adorable Brittany looked, squeezed between her parents, all wearing bright smiles on their faces.

"Thanks, dad." Brittany's voice pulled her from her thoughts and she turned her head to see Martin put their bags down on the floor by the door.

"No problem, bug." Martin replied, ruffling Brittany's hair and laughing when she pouted and ducked her head away. He turned to look at Santana and Santana swallowed thickly, feeling incredibly small looking up at the man easily towering over her. Martin held her gaze for a moment and then shifted his eyes back to Brittany. "Why don't you girls get settled in before dinner is ready?"

Brittany nodded and led Santana to the door to grab their things before walking out of the living room. Santana followed Brittany up the stairs and into her old bedroom where they quickly set their heavy bags down. The room was exactly how Santana had expected. It was decorated with the light colors yellow and sky blue. There were some posters on the walls and lots of pictures of Brittany with her friends.

"It's weird to have you in my room." Brittany commented, taking a step in her direction.

Santana tilted her head slightly with a smile. "A good weird?"

"The best weird." Brittany grinned, grabbing her hand and pulling her closer. She lifted her free hand to cup Santana's cheek and gently pressed their lips together. Santana smiled into the kiss and rested her hand on Brittany's waist, pulling her in tighter until her body was forced to mold around hers.

Santana was so caught up in the kiss that she didn't notice that Brittany was guiding them backwards until her knees hit the bed and she toppled over onto it with a groan, forcing her to tear her lips away from Brittany's. She pulled Brittany on top of her and wrapped her arms around her waist with a grin, brushing the hair out of girlfriend's eyes before capturing her lips in another kiss.

Brittany tangled her fingers in Santana's hair and gently sucked on her bottom lip, unable to suppress a moan when their tongues brushed together. Santana moved her hand down Brittany's side and let it rest on her lower back for a moment before slipping it under her shirt. She felt Brittany's muscles tense under her touch and she paused, smiling when she felt Brittany relax almost instantly, before starting to rub random patterns over the scarred skin with her thumb.

Brittany detached her lips from Santana's and started leaving kisses down her jawline. Santana felt her stomach flutter and a soft moan escaped her throat when Brittany started to suck on her neck, lightly swiping her tongue over the spot. Their skin brushed together and Santana felt so good that she never wanted to stop. Brittany was always so gentle with her, touching her in all the right ways.

Without warning, Santana flipped them over so that she was on top of Brittany and brought their lips together again, kissing her with even more urgency and passion. Brittany locked her legs around Santana's hips to keep her as close as possible, her head spinning as she felt the tip of Santana's tongue part her lips. Santana hadn't intended to kiss Brittany this deeply but as their tongues clashed into a battle of dominance, she felt her arousal building up.

The sound of the bedroom door creaking open followed by the clearing of a throat made Santana's eyes go wide and she quickly scrambled off Brittany, causing her to fall to the ground with a loud thud. She gritted her teeth and clutched her head in pain, clumsily trying to pull herself into a seated position.

"Shit babe," Brittany whispered, climbing off the bed and kneeling next to her girlfriend. She gently helped her sit up and pried her hands away from her face, examining the damage and sighing in relief when there was no physical bruising. "Are you okay? Do I have to take you to the hospital?"

Santana cracked a small smile at this. "I'm fine, Britt."

Brittany bit her lip in thought and then leaned in to place a feather-light kiss on Santana's forehead. Santana's smile widened but it disappeared when she remembered what had caused her to fall off the bed. She nervously flickered her eyes up to look at Martin who was awkwardly standing in the door frame.

She couldn't believe that this was happening. Again.

"Uh, I just want to let you know that dinner is ready." Martin said, looking unsure of what to do. He stood there for another moment and then turned to walk away when he changed his mind at the last second and glanced back at Santana. "Are you sure that you're okay?"

Santana nodded sheepishly and he shot her a tight-lipped smile before disappearing out of sight. She groaned and let her head fall forward against Brittany's chest, hiding her face against the blonde's t-shirt. Brittany pouted in sympathy and gently smoothed her hair back.

"San?"

"I can't believe your dad walked in on us making out twice." Santana whined, puffing out her cheeks and shaking her head at herself. She pulled back to meet Brittany's eyes. "This is embarrassing. He didn't seem to like me very much already but now he probably hates me."

"What? Of course he doesn't hate you." Brittany assured her. When Santana just stared back at her, she cupped the brunette's chin and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "He's just being overly protective as always. Just give him some time to warm up to you."

Santana sighed. "Okay."

Brittany pulled herself upright and offered Santana her hand to pull her to her feet as well. Santana dusted her jeans off and took a deep breath in preparation before she followed Brittany out of the room and down the stairs. Brittany's parents were already seated at the table and Santana felt her cheeks turn red when she caught Martin's gaze. She quickly averted her eyes and sat down next to Brittany.

"It looks great, mom." Brittany said, looking at the plates of delicious smelling food in front of them.

"Wait until you taste it." Martin smiled at her. "She's been slaving away in the kitchen all afternoon."

Susan shot her husband a playful glare before picking up her cutlery. "Please, dive in."

Silence fell over them as they began to eat. Brittany glanced sideways at Santana and could instantly tell that her girlfriend was nervous. It warmed her heart to see how hard Santana was trying to make a good impression on her parents but she didn't want her to feel uncomfortable. Her hand found Santana's under the table and she stroked her thumb over her knuckles soothingly.

"So Santana, tell us more about yourself." Susan was the first one to speak up.

"Uh, well, my name is Santana." She mentally slapped herself as soon as the words left her mouth. A blush crept up her cheeks, all the way to her ears and down her neck. Brittany squeezed her hand encouragingly and she awkwardly cleared her throat before continuing. "I'm 25 years old. I've lived in the city my entire life. I write for Schuester's magazine. I like to read and listen to music in my free time. I wear shoe size 8…"

Brittany smiled to herself as Santana continued to rattle off facts about herself. There seemed to be nothing left of the confident Santana she knew. Her parents seemed to be listening to her intently though so Brittany just let her speak, occasionally squeezing her hand in silent reassurance.

"Tell us about your parents. What do they do for a living?" Martin asked after Santana was finished rambling.

Santana felt Brittany tighten her hold on her hand and a warm feeling spread through her body at the small but meaningful gesture. She took a sip from her water before answering the question. "My father is a dentist and my mother doesn't have a job." She dropped her eyes to her plate and hesitated for a moment before adding, "We're not very close."

"Oh I'm sorry to hear that." Susan said in a sympathetic voice. Santana thanked her quietly.

The conversation carried on for a while. Brittany's parents asked Santana questions and she did her best to answer them all. Brittany was happy to see that Santana seemed to become less nervous by the minute. After a while, Martin directed the topic away from Santana and focused his attention on Brittany.

"How have you been, bug?"

"I've been okay." Brittany told him with a small smile. She glanced at Santana and then looked back at her dad again. "I attended a dance class last week."

It had taken quite some convincing and encouragement from Santana but eventually Brittany had signed herself up for a class at a dance studio. She had been incredibly nervous for her first class after the accident but it turned out that she had nothing to worry about. Her teacher was incredibly helpful and let her set her own pace.

Her parents stared at her for a long moment, both seemingly surprised, until her mom finally said something. "That's- that's great!" She smiled widely, looking as if she was about to burst into tears from happiness. "I'm so proud of you, honey!"

"Are you sure that you're ready for this?" Martin asked, his eyes scanning her features intently.

Brittany nodded. "Don't worry, dad. I'm just starting with some basic classes to get back into it. I haven't danced in a long time so I don't want to overdo it. I'm sure that it'll take a while for me to get back in shape. "

"This is great news." Susan beamed at her daughter.

Brittany smiled shyly. "Thanks, mom."

They sat there for about an hour, eating and catching up. Brittany and Susan started cleaning up and Santana offered to help as well but Susan politely declined and told her to stay seated, leaving her alone with Martin. She immediately felt her nerves creep back in as an awkward tension filled the room.

"Okay, Santana, I'll just get right to it." Martin clasped his hands together in front of him, making Santana's eyes grow wide. "As you probably already know, Brittany has been through a lot of things that have made me become even more protective of her than I already was." Santana nodded quickly but knew better than to say anything. "You don't seem like a bad person. In fact, you seem to make Brittany very happy but I still want you to know this. I love my daughter very much and if you do anything to hurt her-…"

"I would never hurt her, Mr. Pierce. I-..."

"Don't interrupt me, Santana." Martin told her firmly. Santana quickly snapped her jaw shut, feeling a heated blush rise to her cheeks. She gave Martin a small nod in reply and he continued. "If you do anything to hurt Brittany, lie to her or break her heart, you don't want to know the consequences. Is that clear?"

Santana's throat felt dry so she swallowed before squeaking out a small, "Yes."

"Dad!" Brittany re-entered the room. Her eyes shifted between her dad and Santana and an annoyed expression spread across her features before she shot her dad a glare. "Please tell me that you weren't seriously giving San one of those 'if you hurt my daughter speeches'."

Martin shrugged. "I just wanted to clarify some things."

Brittany sighed and moved to stand behind Santana, resting her hands on her tense shoulders. "Try to have a little faith in Santana, dad. She's not going to hurt me. I trust her and I hardly trust anyone so please try to do the same thing." Martin held his daughter's gaze for a moment and then nodded once. Brittany gave him a small smile and squeezed Santana's shoulders. "Do you want to go to bed early? I'm kind of tired."

"Yeah, me too." Santana replied.

They said good night to Susan before making their way upstairs. Once they were in Brittany's room, Brittany stepped forward and took Santana in her arms. "I'm sorry about my dad." She whispered in Santana's ear before pressing a kiss to her temple. "I hope he didn't scare you away."

"Nothing could scare me away." Santana said, holding on tightly. "And don't apologize, I understand that he's just looking out for you. I can't really blame him."

Brittany didn't say anything and just pressed another kiss to her temple. They stood there for a little while longer until Brittany reluctantly released Santana from her embrace, stepping back and looking around the room thoughtfully. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

Santana smiled softly and nodded. "Sure."

She grabbed the remote of the TV as Brittany crawled into bed and propped some pillows up against the headboard so she could lean against them. Santana settled comfortably in between Brittany's legs and the blonde wrapped her arms around her waist. Santana sighed in contentment and started to flip through the channels, stopping at a movie they both hadn't seen before.

Brittany pressed a kiss to Santana's forehead as Santana rested her head on her shoulder. Santana watched the movie intently while Brittany just watched her girlfriend, smiling at her expressions, her fingers tracing random patterns on her arm. There was nothing that made Brittany happier than just being with Santana, simply holding her.

"Christ, this guy is an idiot." Santana commented, pulling Brittany from her thoughts.

She blinked in confusion. "Huh?"

Santana lifted her head off Brittany's chest and looked at her curiously. "What were you thinking about?" She asked softly.

"Nothing." Brittany mumbled, shyly glancing away. "Just about how happy you make me."

"You're so adorable when you blush, Britt." Santana chuckled, pressing a kiss to Brittany's cheek that turned an even brighter shade of red at her words. She grinned and playfully nudged Brittany's nose with her own, trying to make the blonde look at her. Bright blue eyes briefly locked with hers before they flickered down to her lips and back up again. Santana smirked knowingly and teasingly ghosted her lips over Brittany's soft ones. Brittany closed her eyes in anticipation and Santana couldn't help but smile at the innocence of the action. Deciding not to torture her girlfriend any longer, she slightly tilted her head and captured Brittany's lips with her own, lightly nibbling on her lower lip. Brittany sighed into the kiss and tenderly squeezed Santana's waist. Santana pulled away and tucked a strand of hair behind Brittany's ear, watching as slightly dazed blue eyes slowly fluttered open. "Just so you know, you make me really happy too."

Brittany smiled brightly and Santana felt that familiar flutter in her heart.

They didn't say anything for the rest of the movie and by the time it ended, they were both feeling incredibly sleepy. After brushing their teeth and changing into some sleeping clothes, they crawled under the covers and cuddled up against each other. It was a tight fit, considering the bed was a lot smaller than they were used to but neither of them cared.

"I'm glad you agreed to come here with me." Brittany said softly, kissing Santana's clothed shoulder and tightening her arms around her waist.

"Hopefully I'll be able to stop acting like such a nervous wreck around your parents." Santana smiled a little. Brittany hummed softly and nuzzled her nose further into the back of Santana's neck, her warm breath tickling her skin. Santana recognized the action as a sign that she was close to falling asleep and gently dragged her fingers up and down her arm. "Go to sleep, baby."

Brittany hummed again and pulled her a little closer, absorbing her warmth. It wasn't long before they both drifted off to sleep.

* * *

The next day, Brittany and Santana decided to go out for lunch together. They took a relaxing walk through town, hands clasped together, as Brittany pointed out the buildings, entertaining Santana with stories of her childhood. The air was warm and pleasant and Santana was genuinely enjoying herself.

They reached the restaurant and headed over to the booth in the corner. Once they had taken a seat, a waiter approached them and took their orders. They chatted lightly as they waited for their food, Brittany's hand still clutching Santana's across the table, not caring about who saw. The action made Santana smile and she didn't let go until their food arrived.

"Brittany?" A woman and a man suddenly stopped next to their table, effectively stopping their conversation.

Santana immediately noticed the way Brittany's back straightened as her body tensed up. She looked up in surprise and stammered out a small, "Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Duncan."

Mrs. Duncan smiled warmly and leaned down to give Brittany a quick hug. Santana watched the interaction with curiosity. Brittany didn't seem uncomfortable but definitely a little on edge, as if she didn't know how to act around these people. The woman pulled back and met Brittany's gaze. "What brings you here?"

"I'm visiting my parents." Brittany informed her before she nodded in Santana's direction. "This is my girlfriend, Santana."

"It's nice to meet you." Mrs. Duncan acknowledged Santana with a smile. Santana returned the smile but didn't say anything as she still had no idea who these people were. Brittany shifted in her seat, wringing her hands in her lap as the attention was focused on her again. "How have you been, dear?"

"I've been alright. What about you?"

"Oh you know, hanging in there." Mrs. Duncan shrugged her shoulders. Brittany looked down at the table and shifted in her seat again, chewing on her bottom lip. "I'm definitely surprised to see you here. If I'm being completely honest, I wasn't expecting to ever see your face again. It's been a long time."

Brittany glanced away guiltily, unsure of how to respond. Luckily for her, she didn't have to because Mr. Duncan spoke up. "We should really get going, honey. Your sister is expecting us in an hour."

"Okay. Well, it was nice speaking with you again, Brittany." Mrs. Duncan placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder and gave it a soft squeeze. "You know, Jess would like to know how you're doing too. You've never visited her grave."

Brittany just nodded.

"Take care of yourself, Brittany." Mr. Duncan gave her a small smile before he placed his hand on his wife's shoulder and started to direct her towards the exit. Brittany released a long, shaky breath and slumped further into her seat, closing her eyes for a moment.

"Are you okay?" Santana asked softly, reaching for Brittany's hand across the table. Brittany slowly opened her eyes and nodded. Santana gently ran her thumb across the back of her hand. "Were that Jess's parents?"

Brittany looked at her for a second before responding with a quiet, "Yes."

Santana got the feeling that she didn't want to say anything else about the matter so she decided to stay silent. Brittany appeared to be lost in thought and barely seemed to acknowledge her presence, her hand unresponsive to her squeezes. Santana just waited patiently and continued to eat her food, although there wasn't much left of her appetite.

"I've been meaning to visit her grave." Brittany suddenly broke the silence, her eyes still glued to the table. "I just hate seeing her name on a stone in the ground. It makes it real and sometimes it's easier to pretend that it's not real." She sighed sadly and finally looked up, meeting Santana's sympathetic gaze. "It's been two years, San. I feel terrible."

"It's never too late, sweetheart." Santana replied, raising Brittany's hands to her lips and kissing her palm. "She'd understand."

Brittany hesitated for a moment, her eyes nervously searching Santana's. "If I go, will you come with me? I don't want to go alone."

Santana nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Thirty minutes later they were on their way to the graveyard. They stopped by a small flower shop and Brittany bought a simple bouquet of sunflowers. She noticed the sparkle of curiosity in Santana's eyes and explained, "They're her favorite flowers."

Santana smiled but didn't say anything. She could tell that Brittany was nervous by how clammy her hand felt in her own. They moved slowly, getting closer to where Jess was buried. Santana followed quietly behind Brittany as she searched the rows of gravestones. After a short walk, they came to a stop in front of a grey gravestone that was labeled Jessica Duncan along with the dates of her birth and death.

"I-I don't know if I can do this, San." Brittany started as she stared at the grave. "I've never… talked to anyone like this before."

"Don't be nervous, baby." Santana said softly, placing her hand on Brittany's cheek and stroking her thumb over smooth, pale skin. "I know it might feel a little strange but talking to a loved one that has passed helps. It reminds you that even though they're gone, they'll never be forgotten."

Brittany leaned into her touch. "Will you stay with me?"

Santana nodded and leaned in to place a soft kiss on her lips. She then took a step back and watched as Brittany eyed the sunflowers for a moment before she knelt down in front of the stone and gently placed the bouquet on the soil. She took a deep breath and quietly said, "Hi Jess."

She was quiet for a long time after that. There were so many things that she wanted to say but no words seemed right. She ran her fingers over the words that were engraved in the stone as she tried to gather her thoughts. Finally, she started to speak in a soft voice. "I'm sorry I haven't visited you. I hope me being here right now counts for something."

It felt silly to speak to a stone. She glanced over her shoulder and Santana shot her an assuring smile, encouraging her to continue. Taking a deep breath, she turned back to the grave and tried again. "I miss you every second of every day, Jess. Noah isn't here right now but I know that he still thinks of you all the time too." She paused. It was hard to voice all her thoughts so she decided to talk about what mattered most to her. "Life has been hard since you left but don't worry, I met someone who finally makes me smile again. She means so much to me. I probably wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her."

Brittany looked at Santana again and Santana nodded in understanding, stepping closer and kneeling next to Brittany, placing her hand on her lower back. Brittany released a shaky breath and wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her jacket. "Jess, this is Santana."

"It's nice to meet you, Jess." Santana said softly, shuffling closer to Brittany and wrapping a strong arm around her waist. Brittany leaned into her and rested her head on her shoulder. A few moments passed in which neither of them said anything. Brittany was glad that she had agreed to come here. It felt like a relief to speak to Jess again after she had pushed it to the back of her mind for so long.

"Santana makes me really happy." Brittany's voice cracked a little and Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek. "She means the world to me and I feel so lucky to have met her. I'm sure you would've liked her too." She paused and sniffled a little as a few tears escaped her eyes. "You know that I'm not good with words but I just wanted to tell you that I love you and I'll never forget you and all the amazing memories that we share. You'll always be my best friend, Jess."

She looked at the gravestone for a little while longer before she nodded at Santana to let her know that she was ready to go. They slowly stood up and Santana wrapped an arm around Brittany's waist as they turned to leave. It was quiet around them except for Brittany's occasional sniffles. Santana could tell that she was trying not to cry and it broke her heart.

"I'm sorry." Brittany suddenly blurted out.

Santana stopped walking and looked at her, confusion in her eyes. "What for?"

"I'm sorry for dragging you into my problems." Brittany clarified quietly as her eyes glazed over with fresh tears. She looked genuinely upset with herself and Santana's heart skipped a beat out of shock, her lips parting slightly and her eyebrows furrowing. Brittany's eyes nervously glanced away from hers. "It feels like we haven't had the chance to just be us because there's always something new standing in our way."

Santana tried to say something but her throat refused to work properly. She licked her suddenly dry lips and swallowed before trying again. "Baby," She began, her voice coming out in a whisper. Her girlfriend was still not looking at her so she reached out to caress the blonde's cheek, gently wiping under her eyes. "I'll do whatever it is that I need to do to make you happy. I'll always be here for you and as cliché as it sounds, there's nowhere I'd rather be than right here by your side."

Brittany sucked in a shaky breath. "Really?"

Santana nodded without any hesitation and continued to wipe Brittany's tears away before leaning in and lightly kissing both her cheeks. Brittany's entire body sighed out at the touch and her lips formed into a small, appreciative smile. She gently grasped Santana's hand within hers and continued to walk. Squeezing Brittany's hand a bit, Santana walked beside her silently.

No words needed to be spoken.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: _Hello. :) As always thanks to everyone who is reading this story. I really appreciate all the follows, comments etc. Here's the next chapter. Just as a warning, it is quite intense.

* * *

**Chapter 11.**

_Brittany felt the ground rumble beneath her. Darkness gave way to flashes of lightening and her gasp of fear was drowned out by a deafening crash of thunder. Biting down on her bottom lip, Brittany covered her ears with her hands and squeezed her eyes shut. She didn't stop running, not once taking a break. Her breath caught painfully in her chest as her feet slammed against the pavement, splashing up waves of water. _

_She could feel the heat radiating off the flames as they continued to dance around her. Her steps felt heavy, as she was so sore, so exhausted. A sudden stabbing, excruciating agony shooting through her abdomen made her come to an abrupt stop. Brittany's blue eyes shot open, her breathing becoming shallower. She slowly looked down and her stomach lurched, almost causing her to throw up. There was blood everywhere. It was hard to tell which part of her clothes was soaked with blood and which part was only soaked from the rain._

"_Santana!" Brittany cried out desperately, her tears blending in with the rain as they slid down her pale cheeks. "Where are you?"_

_She hunched in on herself and wrapped her arms around her stomach. Her hands were freezing and trembling uncontrollably. The fire was getting closer and she knew that she had to run but her feet wouldn't cooperate. A groan escaped her throat as she dropped to her knees, losing all control over herself as she pounded her fists on the ground. _

"_Damn it, Santana!" She sobbed, feeling the skin of her hands split as they collided with the hard surface over and over again. Her movements became weaker until she gave up and curled into a fetal position, trying to protect herself from what was about to come. She could barely hear her own whimpers over the constant thunder. "San, please! I'm sorry…"_

_A sudden ear-piercing scream cut through the air and Brittany flinched. Her eyes darted around until they locked with familiar brown ones and she cried out in relief. Santana ran towards her when she tripped over something and landed on the ground face first. Brittany tried to call out a warning but the noise of the thunder drowned out any words she yelled._

_She watched in horror as the flames engulfed Santana from behind, burning the flesh from her bones. Brittany tried to get to her feet but more pains made her double over. The screams that chilled her to the core continued until everything suddenly went deadly silent around her. The thunder had stopped and the fire had died down. Brittany finally managed to pull herself upright and stumbled her way to where Santana was lying, tripping over dead bodies that littered the ground, having appeared out of nowhere. _

"_Santana!" She cried as she fell to her knees. Santana slowly lifted her head and Brittany gasped at the sight that was revealed. Her face had been all but sliced off, the flesh hanging by threads, and her eyes were empty and heartless. Brittany watched in shock as the face that she hardly recognized suddenly morphed into that of Jess'. In one quick movement, Brittany found herself pinned to the ground with Jess' hands wrapped tightly around her neck. She panted harshly, staring up into dark, angry eyes as a cold voice chanted the same words over and over again._

"_You deserve this! You deserve this! You deserve this! You-…" _

Santana shot up with a jolt at the sound of screaming. It took her a moment to realize that the sound was coming from Brittany who was drenched in sweat and wildly trashing around in her sleep. She had tears covering her face and was now whimpering broken, incomprehensible words as her body convulsed violently from time to time. Santana felt her heart leap in her throat and she quickly shook the blonde's shoulder, desperate to end the nightmare that was causing her so much pain.

"Brittany." She said, brushing away a strand of hair that was plastered against Brittany's sweaty face. Brittany grunted and struggled against her grip, attempting to roll away from her. Santana quickly held the blonde's arms down to keep her from hurting herself and tried again. "Brittany, wake up."

Santana felt a rush of relief when Brittany's blue eyes shot up but her relief was short lived when Brittany pushed her away with newfound strength and threw herself forward before emptying the contents of her stomach on the bed. Santana watched her girlfriend with wide eyes and reached out to place a hand on Brittany's shoulder but Brittany jumped in fright and fell out of bed in the process, hurriedly scrambling away until her back hit the wall.

It took a moment for Santana's mind to register what was happening. She quickly slipped out of bed as well and looked at Brittany who was now huddled in the corner, her hands covering her ears. This was exactly like the first time Santana had witnessed one of Brittany's panic attacks and her heart clenched painfully in her chest. The blonde was wheezing and her chest was moving quickly in time with her rapid breathing. Her entire body was shaking and she had her face buried in her knees.

With everything that was going on, Santana had momentarily forgotten that they were staying with Brittany's parents until they suddenly barged into the room, having heard the commotion. Santana watched as two pair of blue eyes took in the sight of their daughter before Susan knelt down in front Brittany's shaking form. Santana could instantly tell that this wasn't the first time Brittany's parents had been in this situation either and that thought made her heart feel heavy.

"Honey." Susan murmured, placing her hands on Brittany's knees and squeezing. Brittany's wheezing started to increase and she tried to shift away from her mom, showing no signs of hearing her. Susan was obviously struggling to stay calm herself. "You're okay, Brittany. It's just me; mom. Luister naar me, lieverd _(Listen to me, sweetie)_."

Santana felt tears well up in her own eyes as a tearstain started to form on Brittany's sweatpants where her face was still buried against her knees. The blonde started rocking back and forth a little faster while whining softly, her mind still stuck somewhere between reality and nightmare. Susan's eyes flickered between Santana and Martin as she was growing more desperate with each passing second.

Santana finally broke out of her stupor and crossed the room, kneeling down in front Brittany. She swallowed the lump in her throat and looked at Susan. "Let me try."

Susan nodded and backed up a little to give her some room.

"Brittany, please look at me." Santana pleaded, gently prying Brittany's hands off her ears, squeezing firmly when Brittany let out a whimper of protest. Brittany pulled her hands out of Santana's grasp and clutched onto her knees so tightly that her knuckles turned white. "You're safe, baby. Come back to me."

Brittany wasn't listening and Santana felt panic build up inside of her. She gently brushed the hair away from her girlfriend's forehead and massaged the back of her neck, leaning down to speak softly into her ear. "Listen to me, Brittany, try to focus on my voice." Brittany sucked in another painful breath and Santana winced along with her before trying again. "Shh, it's okay. Look at me, baby. It's Santana."

"Should I call an ambulance?" Martin asked shakily, looking incredibly concerned. "She's never been this… bad."

"I don't know." Santana replied, unsure. She focused her attention on Brittany again and pulled her closer until she was practically draped over her lap. Brittany's skin felt clammy when Santana ran her hands up and down her arms, trying to somehow get through to her. "I know you're scared, Britt, but please try to breathe."

Brittany coughed a little and slightly lifted her head, obviously trying to comply. Santana almost cried in relief because Brittany was at least starting to respond to her words. She gently stroked the back of her fingers down the side of Brittany's face in an attempt to soothe her. "Please open your eyes, Brittany. You're safe here. I promise."

After a long moment, Brittany slowly opened her eyes, revealing baby blues that reflected nothing but pain and fear. She was still gasping for air and tears were rolling freely down her cheeks. Saying that Santana's heart was breaking would be an understatement. "Look into my eyes, sweetheart." She coaxed gently, waiting until Brittany's eyes nervously flickered up to hers. "That's my girl. You're okay, I'm okay, everyone's okay."

Brittany blinked hard at those words, her glassy eyes trying to focus. "S-San?"

"I'm right here, Brittany." Santana told her softly, covering Brittany's hands with her own and trying to loosen the death grip Brittany had on her knees. Brittany startled and tried to pull her hands away, scooting closer to the wall even though there was hardly any space left. "It's okay, baby." Santana cooed, gently running her thumbs over the back of Brittany's hands. "You were having a nightmare but it's over now. You don't have to be afraid. We're at your parents' house, remember? Everything's fine."

Brittany's breathing finally started to slow down a little and her shoulders slumped a bit. Santana pulled her into her arms and began to hum softly in her ear, threading her fingers through her hair and kissing the top of her head. Brittany's entire body ached and she felt exhausted. Her clothes were damp with sweat and plastered to her skin. She buried her face into Santana's shoulder, clinging to her, too embarrassed to do anything else.

"D-don't leave m-me." She whispered, squeezing her eyes shut and focusing on her breathing, trying to block out the screams that were still faintly echoing in her head. "I-I'm sorry."

"Shh, you've got nothing to be sorry for." Santana shushed her, a few tears escaping her own eyes. She smiled softly when she felt Brittany weakly tug on her shirt, trying to pull her even closer, and she tightened her arms around the blonde. "Take it easy, sweetheart. I'm not going anywhere." They sat there like that for a while until Brittany calmed down a little and Santana slightly pulled back, taking her face into her hands. "Let's get you cleaned up, okay? You're soaked in sweat."

Brittany's head was pounding but she nodded anyway. Santana slowly helped the blonde to her feet, keeping an arm wrapped around her waist to keep her steady. Her eyes met Martin's and he nodded at her, silently trying to show her his appreciation. Santana returned the nod while Brittany kept her head lowered, obviously embarrassed about what happened.

"I'll clean the bed." Susan said softly, seemingly unsure of what to do but desperate to do _something_.

Santana thanked her quietly and slowly led Brittany into the bathroom. Brittany was still trembling so Santana quickly sat her down on the toilet seat and knelt down in front of her, placing her hands on her thighs. "I'm going to run you a bath. Is that alright?"

Brittany blinked a few times and nodded weakly. Santana stood up straight and placed a soft kiss on Brittany's forehead before moving away to fill the tub with water. A shiver ran through Brittany's body and she struggled to keep her eyes open. She was so cold and tired. "San?"

"I'm here, Britt." Santana was in front of Brittany again in a matter of seconds and Brittany breathed out a sigh of relief. Santana wiped the matted hair out of Brittany's eyes before moving down and gently caressing her girlfriend's cheek. "Let me help you undress."

Brittany bit her lip and held her breath in preparation, raising her arms to let Santana know that it was okay. Santana removed Brittany's shirt and Brittany immediately crossed her arms over her exposed chest, ducking her head down in embarrassement. Santana sighed sadly but didn't say anything. When she hooked her thumbs into the hem of Brittany's sweatpants, Brittany tensed slightly and squeezed her eyes shut. Santana blinked back the tears that abruptly sprang to her eyes and grabbed Brittany's hand, holding it tightly in her own. "It's okay, Brittany. Please trust me."

Brittany released a shaky breath and slowly opened her eyes. Santana waited for a small nod of confirmation before she tugged Brittany's pants down, revealing the scars on Brittany's thighs that she hadn't seen before. Brittany studied her reaction carefully but Santana's expression remained the same; soft and caring. Santana gently ran her hands over the marred skin, trying to get Brittany to relax. "I'm going to take off your underwear, okay?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and nodded but still trembled as Santana curled her fingers around the hem of her panties and slowly tugged them down her legs, waiting until she had stepped out of them before throwing them aside. Fresh tears welled up in Brittany's tired eyes. She had never felt so vulnerable in her life. A sob escaped her quivering lips before she could stop it. "I-I'm so s-sorry, San."

"Hey," Santana whispered quickly, reaching out to cup Brittany's cheek in her hand. "Don't apologize for anything, baby. None of this is your fault." She held Brittany's gaze for a moment but it seemed like Brittany wasn't even listening to her. Seeing her girlfriend like this hurt more than anything and it took everything in her not to break down and cry. "Do you hear me, Brittany? I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Just let me take care of you."

She slowly helped Brittany stand up and Brittany gripped onto the sink to keep herself upright. Her legs felt shaky and she just wanted to go back to sleep. Santana slipped an arm around her waist and guided her to sit on the edge of the bathtub before slowly helping her in. Brittany closed her eyes, letting the warm water comfort her aching body.

Santana knelt down beside the bathtub and rested her arms on the edge, her face twisted in worry. She watched her girlfriend for a while and then cupped some water into her hands, using it to wet Brittany's hair. Brittany shivered a little and opened her eyes, anxiety clearly visible in her big blue orbs. Santana smiled softly, trying to reassure her, and poured some shampoo into her hands before gently starting to rub it into Brittany's long locks. Brittany relaxed slightly at the feeling of Santana's fingers massaging her scalp and her head lulled to the side lazily. She was so, so tired.

Santana unhooked the shower head and started to rinse Brittany off, washing the shampoo out of her hair. After she was finished, she placed her hand on Brittany's cheek and ran her thumb over her pale skin to get her attention. "Are you ready to get out?"

Brittany nodded and Santana stood up to grab a large, fluffy towel. She helped Brittany step out of the tub and gently started to dry her off, feeling the blonde's hands shake as she hesitantly placed them on her shoulders to keep herself steady. Santana inhaled deeply and bit down on her bottom lip hard to keep her tears at bay. She wished that there was something that she could do to let Brittany know that there was no need to feel embarrassed or insecure around her.

"I'll be right back, okay? I'm going to grab some clothes." Santana said, wrapping the towel around Brittany and sitting her down on the toilet seat. Brittany nodded slowly and Santana shot her another worried look before leaving the bathroom.

Santana returned a moment later and knelt down in front of Brittany, holding out a fresh pair of underwear and sweatpants for her to step into. She didn't even bother to ask Brittany if she needed help or not. Taking care of her girlfriend made her feel better. Once Brittany was dressed, Santana handed her a toothbrush and toothpaste. "Brush."

Brittany complied and began to brush her teeth, eager to wash the disgusting taste of sick out of her mouth. Afterwards, she took a few big gulps of water from the faucet before wiping her face with a hand towel. Santana watched her girlfriend silently. She didn't look close to fainting anymore but still incredibly pale. When Brittany slowly turned to Santana, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around the taller girl. She didn't say anything and just held her, knowing there wasn't really anything she could say to make Brittany feel better.

After several moments, Santana pressed a kiss to Brittany's temple before speaking softly into her ear. "Come on, baby. Let's go back to bed."

Brittany nodded and allowed Santana to lead her back into her room. The bed had been remade and the window was open to let some fresh air in but Brittany's parents weren't there. They crawled into bed and Brittany lay down on her side while Santana positioned herself as the big spoon. She could feel the tension in Brittany's body when she pressed a kiss to the back of her neck. "It's okay. Try to get some sleep, Britt. I've got you."

Brittany relaxed into Santana's embrace and a few seconds later Santana realized that her exhausted girlfriend had fallen back asleep. Santana tightened her arms around her waist and let out a heavy sigh, a sudden rush over emotions washing over her. A soft knock sounded before the door slowly creaked open, light spilling slowly into the dark room. Susan quietly made her way over to the bed and hovered over them, a concerned expression on her face. "Is she okay?"

Santana was silent for a moment and then answered the question truthfully. "I don't know."

Susan sighed sadly and reached out to gently stroke her hand over Brittany's face, lightly caressing her cheek. Brittany stirred a little, looking slightly troubled with her brow furrowed. Susan watched her daughter sleep for a moment and then stood up straight again. "Martin and I will be just down the hall if you need anything."

Santana nodded with a small smile and watched as Susan slowly walked out of the room, closing the door behind her. She nuzzled her nose in the back of Brittany's neck, inhaling her scent, and rested her hand on Brittany's chest. It was reassuring to feel the steady beating of Brittany's heart and she allowed her eyelids to flutter shut.

* * *

Brittany groggily rubbed her face and waited for her blurry vision to come into focus. The first thing that she noticed was the familiar feeling of Santana's arms wrapped around her. Memories of last night pushed through her pounding headache and she suddenly felt sick from embarrassment. She carefully untangled herself from Santana's arms and sat up, leaning back against the headboard, her body stiff with panic.

Santana mumbled something unintelligible and rolled closer, resting her head on Brittany's lap and pressing her face into her stomach. Despite everything, Brittany couldn't help but smile softly. She brought her hand to Santana's head and slowly began to brush her fingers through her long, dark hair. It was her fault that Santana was so tired. She had kept everyone up last night. Brittany sighed and closed her eyes. She felt like crying but simply didn't have the energy to do so.

"Britt?" Santana whispered before slowly opening her eyes. Brittany quickly retracted her hand and rested it on the bed instead. With a tired groan, Santana lifted her head to meet Brittany's gaze. "Hi."

"Hi." Brittany echoed, nervously fidgeting with her fingers

"How are you feeling?" Santana asked as she slowly pulled herself upright and mirrored Brittany's position against the headboard.

Brittany shrugged. "I'm good."

Santana raised her eyebrows and looked at her skeptically. She covered Brittany's hand with her own to stop her nervous movements. "Do you want to talk about what happened last night?" She asked softly.

Brittany's eyes briefly flickered up to Santana's and then back down to her lap. "I'm sorry that you had to see me like that."

"Britt, I meant it when I said that I'm always going to be here for you. Don't apologize for something you had no control over." Santana said, rubbing small circles on the back of Brittany's hand with her thumb. Brittany just sighed and continued to pointedly stare at her lap. "Look at me." Santana waited until blue eyes reluctantly met hers. "I'm not going anywhere. No matter what happens."

"It feels like I've been nothing but a burden to you." Brittany mumbled.

Santana clenched her jaw and cupped Brittany's chin with her free hand. "Don't you dare ever say that again, Brittany Susan Pierce. You are _not _a burden and you never will be." She said firmly, staring directly into her eyes. "Have I done anything to make you feel that way?"

"No, but…"

"No buts." Santana interrupted her. "To me you're nothing short of amazing and don't you ever forget it."

Brittany sighed but didn't protest. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

Santana's brow furrowed in confusion. "What did I say?"

"You…" Brittany seemed unsure, her eyes searching Santana's face, looking for something. Santana nodded in encouragement and Brittany blushed a deep shade of crimson before saying, "You said that you loved me. Did you mean it?"

Santana tensed slightly. She couldn't remember saying that but that didn't make it any less true.

"Yes. I love you, Britt. It's okay if you d-" Santana was cut off by Brittany who wrapped her arms around her neck and connected their lips in a soft kiss. After pulling herself together, Santana kissed her back just as gently. When the two parted a few minutes later, Brittany smiled, a blush still on her face, and looked at Santana shyly.

"I love you too, Santana."

Santana smiled widely and leaned in to place another kiss on her lips. "Come on, let's go get some breakfast."

* * *

Brittany slipped her hand into Santana's as they walked down the stairs. She could faintly hear the voices of her parents and when they entered the kitchen, they were both leaning against the counter with a serious expression on their face. Brittany could tell that they were both tired and guilt once again overwhelmed her. Their conversation fell silent and they both looked up.

"Good morning, girls." Susan greeted them softly. Concern was evident in her eyes when she looked at Brittany. "How are you feeling, honey?"

"I'm fine." Brittany said, forcing a small smile on her face.

Martin crossed his arms over his chest and looked at her for a moment before saying, "Look Brittany, about last night…"

Brittany clenched her jaw and exhaled angrily. She already knew what he was going to say. She didn't want to have this conversation again. "Dad, don't." She interrupted him before he had the chance to say anything else. For some reason, tears started to well up in her eyes. "I don't want to talk about it right now."

Martin pinched the bridge of his nose. "You need help, Brittany. I've been trying, everyone has been trying, but it's clearly not enough." He paused to take a deep breath. "It's been two years, bug. Your nightmares aren't getting any better and they're obviously deeply effecting you. You need to talk to someone. This is beyond us."

"I _don't _need a shrink." Brittany snapped, pulling her hand out of Santana's so she could clench it into a fist.

"Yes, you do. You need to talk to someone who can help you."

"No!"

"Britt…"

"I won't go! I'm not crazy!" Brittany stared at him with hard eyes, her voice getting sharper with each word. She recognized the stubborn set of his jaw, it was the same expression she had used so often herself, and she mimicked it without thought. "Seriously, I'm not."

"I'm not saying that you're crazy." Martin said in a surprisingly calm voice. "I'm saying that there is help out there for you and I think you should get it. Your mom and I love you so much, Brittany, and we're worried about you."

"No." Brittany growled as hot, angry tears started to fall from her eyes. "I'm tired of people telling me what to do!"

"Baby, please don't cry." Santana pleaded as she reached up to wipe Brittany's tears away with the pads of her thumbs. "There's no shame in admitting that you need help, Britt."

"I'm not crazy, Santana." Brittany said again, stubbornly shaking her head. Santana went to wipe another tear away but Brittany grabbed her hand and looked at her with angry, tear filled eyes. "I don't need a shrink."

"Brittany…"

"Just leave me alone." Brittany hissed, letting go of Santana's hand and spinning around on her heels. She tried to make a run for the door but Santana quickly grabbed her wrist before she could get anywhere and suddenly threw her arms around the blonde from behind, pulling their bodies flush together.

"Brittany." Santana spoke softly into her ear, not quite sure how this conversation had gone downhill this face. "Britt, just listen to me."

"Why? I don't need you to tell me how fucked up I am!" Brittany yelled, making Santana frown. She didn't think she had ever heard Brittany swear before and it made her realize how serious the situation was. Brittany managed to free herself from Santana's arm and whirled around the face her. "I don't need a damn shrink! I'm not crazy!"

"I know you're not crazy!" Santana yelled back, frustration getting the best of her. "Confiding in a therapist has nothing to do with your mental health!"

Brittany turned her face away so she didn't have to look at Santana. She tried to squirm her wrist out of Santana's grasp but Santana held on tight. "Let me go." She pleaded, her voice cracking. "I'm fine. I can handle it."

"You're not fine, Britt." Santana said softly, finally releasing Brittany's wrist and reaching up to place her hands on either side of the blonde's face. "And that doesn't make you crazy. You're far from crazy. You just need help and there's nothing wrong with that."

Brittany sagged against Santana, as if all the fight had drained out of her. Santana wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her into a tight hug. "I'm sorry." Brittany whispered, burying her face in Santana's shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Shh." Santana shushed her gently. "Just try one session, Britt. If you feel like it doesn't help you, we can forget about it."

Brittany's expression softened and she pulled back slightly to look at Santana with tired eyes. "Fine." She whispered, letting her head fall to Santana's shoulder again. "Just one."

"Thank you." Santana exhaled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"What would you like for breakfast?" An incredibly relieved Susan spoke up after a few moments of silence. "I was thinking pancakes."

Brittany gave her a small smile. "That sounds great, mom."

"I'll make them, honey. You have a seat." Martin told his wife. "Can you help me, Santana?"

Santana nodded somewhat nervously. "Sure."

After Susan and Brittany had left the kitchen, Martin and Santana grabbed all the ingredients they needed to make the pancakes. They started to prepare them in silence, Santana carefully following Martin's instructions. She couldn't help but feel awkward around him. He didn't seem to like her very much already so she stayed silent out of fear of saying the wrong things.

"I want to thank you for taking such good care of my daughter."

Santana was taken aback by Martin's sudden words. She licked her lips and chose her next words carefully. "You don't have to thank me, Mr. Pierce." She said softly, not even daring to glance at him and see his reaction. "I love Brittany and I'll always be here for her."

Martin continued to stare at the pan, flipping the pancakes as a subtle smile formed on his lips. "You know, Brittany fell into a state of depression after the accident. She wouldn't sleep, eat or even talk for weeks." Santana's chest tightened at the mental image his words brought to her mind. "My little girl was slipping away right before my eyes and I had no idea how to help her. It was terrifying to see her like that."

Santana swallowed the lump in her throat. "I don't know what to say, Mr. Pierce."

"I haven't seen her smile like this in a very long time and it makes me so happy." Martin continued, turning off the stove and putting the last pancake on the plate. "You're the reason for that smile."

Santana didn't know what to say. Martin turned to face her, his expression much softer than usual.

"I apologize for being so hard on you, Santana. You didn't deserve that." He admitted softly. "I just don't want Brittany to get hurt. It would kill me to see the light disappear from her eyes again." He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I can tell that you truly love my daughter, you have proved that by now, and I trust you to look after her."

"I will." Santana said quickly.

Martin smiled a little. "We started off on the wrong foot and that's entirely my fault. I was hoping we could start over."

Santana nodded. "I'd like that, Mr. Pierce."

"Thank you." Martin said, relieved. "And please stop calling me Mr. Pierce. My name is Martin."

"Okay, Martin." Santana said with a smile.

They carried the plates over to where Susan and Brittany were sitting and set them down on the table. Santana took a seat next to Brittany and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. Brittany smiled and placed her hand on Santana's thigh before leaning in to whisper in her ear. "Is everything okay?"

Santana covered Brittany's hand with her own and smiled at her. "It will be."


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: _Thanks for all the reviews. :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 12.**

Today was the day of Brittany's first therapy session. She was feeling a little nervous because she didn't know what to expect but Santana had reassured her that it was going to be okay. The car came to a stop and Brittany turned in her seat to face her girlfriend. "You'll be here when I'm done, right?"

Santana nodded. "I promise."

Brittany took a deep breath, opened the car door and got out. She hesitated for a moment but then started to walk towards the building in front of her. When she reached the floor where her new doctor's office was located, she approached the receptionist desk cautiously. "Hi, I'm Brittany Pierce. I have an appointment with Dr. Hill."

The woman behind the desk smiled at her. "Have a seat. He will be with you shortly."

Brittany nodded and sat down in one of the chairs. Not long after, a man walked in and approached her. "You must be Ms. Pierce." He said, offering his hand. "I'm Dr. Hill. It's nice to meet you."

"It's nice to meet you too." Brittany replied, accepting his and shaking it. "You can call me Brittany."

"Please follow me." Dr. Hill smiled. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"No, thank you." Brittany politely declined his offer as she followed him into his office. He grabbed a file off the desk before taking a seat in a large chair, gesturing for her to take a seat as well. Brittany sat down on the couch across from him, placing her hands in her lap as she nervously scanned the room. It was huge and neatly organized.

"Just relax, Brittany." Dr. Hill said in a gentle voice, noticing how tense Brittany was. "I'm not here to make you feel uncomfortable. I'm here to help you."

Brittany nodded and tried to relax.

"So, Brittany. Why don't you tell me a little bit about yourself to get started?"

"Well, I'm a waitress and I work at Joey's." Brittany told him matter-of-factly, not really knowing what else to say. She shifted uncomfortably before adding, "It's a diner."

Dr. Hill nodded; his expression soft. "And what brings you here today?"

Brittany stared at the therapist for a moment, struggling to find the right words. "Uh, I- I have panic attacks sometimes." She admitted softly. "I had a pretty bad one recently and my family is worried."

"When did these panic attacks start?" Dr. Hill asked as he wrote something down on his notepad.

Brittany looked down and nervously rubbed her hands together. "They started two years ago." She told him reluctantly. "I- I was in a plane crash."

"Do you think you can tell me a bit more about this?" Dr. Hill pried, tilting his head and looking at her intently.

Brittany took a deep breath and nervously began to pick at her fingernails. "I don't really know what to say. The pilot lost control of the plane during a thunderstorm and it crashed." She paused and glanced up at Dr. Hill who nodded encouragingly. "I somehow made it out alive."

"These are all facts, Brittany." Dr. Hill stated calmly, folding his hands together. "I want to know what happened from your point of view."

Brittany sighed and glanced away from his eyes, hesitating for a long time before speaking again. "I remember a lot of screaming. There were flames everywhere." She swallowed and took a calming breath, staring hard at the floor. "I didn't feel anything at first but then the pain hit me like a ton of bricks. It was the worst pain anyone could ever feel. I- I could smell burning flesh but I don't know if it was my own or someone else's."

"What else?"

Brittany clenched her jaw and shifted in her seat again. "I don't- There's nothing else."

Dr. Hill observed the young woman sitting across from him for a moment. Her eyes were distant, void of emotion, and he realized that he wasn't going to get more out of her today. "Alright, let's talk about your panic attacks again." He steered the conversation in a different direction. "Are you open to taking medication?"

"I would prefer to avoid that if there are other options."

Dr. Hill nodded. "I'm confident that therapy will help. It's important that you form a routine and stick to it, make regular appointments." He scribbled something down on a piece of paper before looking up again. "I _am_ going to prescribe some anxiety medication for you." Brittany opened her mouth to protest but he quickly continued. "You only have to take them when you're having trouble breathing. The medication will control the severity of the panic attack. Don't take more than two at once."

Brittany took the piece of paper from him. "Okay, thank you."

* * *

An hour later, Brittany exited the building and walked to Santana's car that was parked on the same spot as before. She opened the passenger door and got in. "Hey." Santana greeted her with a smile, looking hopeful and slightly nervous. "How did it go?"

"Okay, I guess." Brittany shrugged. "I have another appointment for next week."

"That's good." Santana exhaled in relief. She nodded at the piece of paper in Brittany's hand. "What's that?"

"Dr. Hill gave me a prescription for some anxiety medication that I have to take when I feel like I need them." Brittany explained. "Can we stop by the pharmacy on the way back?"

"Sure, baby." Santana said, pulling out of the parking lot.

The car ride back to Brittany's apartment passed in a comfortable silence with the exception of the soft music playing on the radio. Santana stopped by the pharmacy as agreed on and Brittany quickly made her inside to pick up her prescription. When she got back into the car, she rested her forehead against the window and stared outside, exhausted from the day already. Santana glanced at her girlfriend worriedly and reached out to place a hand on her knee. "Are you okay?"

Brittany nodded and covered Santana's hand with her own. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired. It's hard to talk about… things."

Santana squeezed her hand but didn't say anything. When they arrived at Brittany's apartment a few minutes later, Brittany curled up on the couch while Santana sat down at the table with her laptop to do some work.

An hour had passed when Santana decided to call it a day. She walked into the living room and smiled softly when she saw that Brittany was fast asleep. Kneeling down beside the couch, Santana brushed the hair away from Brittany's face and gently traced her thumb down the blonde's jawline before leaning in to place a soft kiss on her slightly parted lips. Brittany stirred before her eyelids slowly fluttered open, revealing sleepy blue eyes. "Is it time to get up already?"

Santana chuckled and tucked another strand of hair behind her ear. "No, baby." She said sweetly. "I just wanted to ask you what you want for dinner." Brittany just stared up at her, obviously still half asleep, and she smiled. "Your shift starts in three hours, right?"

Brittany glanced at the clock and groaned. "Yes."

"Well, why don't I order us some food while you sleep a little longer?" Santana suggested. "I'll drop you off at work on my way home."

Brittany smiled. "Thanks, San."

Santana watched in amusement as Brittany rolled over onto her other side with a dramatic sigh, burying her face into the cushions of the couch. She smiled widely and stood up, grabbing a blanket and draping it over Brittany's body. It wasn't very surprising that Brittany's first therapy session had taken a lot out of her emotionally and Santana wanted to be there for her as best as she could.

The food arrived about an hour later and Santana joined Brittany on the couch. Halfway through the meal, Santana's phone started ringing and she mumbled an apology to Brittany before answering the call with a slightly annoyed, "Hello?"

"Hi, Santana. It's Will Schuester."

Santana's eyes widened when she realized that she'd been rude to her boss. "Oh, hi." She said in an extra cheery voice, earning a questioning look from Brittany. Santana set her food down on the table so that she could focus her attention fully on the conversation. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you." Will replied. "I'm calling you because you've recently written some outstanding articles and I must say that I'm very impressed, Santana."

Santana's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Oh, uh… thank you."

"I'm sorry to inform you on such short notice but there's a cultural festival coming up in L.A. in just a couple of days and I want you to represent Schuester's Magazine and attend some events. Your flight and hotel have already been booked and I got you a VIP ticket. You're leaving the day after tomorrow."

Santana was speechless for a moment before she nearly squealed with joy. "That's amazing!"

Will chuckled. "I will email you the details later."

"Thank you so much." Santana said with a wide smile. Her eyes met Brittany's curious blue ones and that's when she realized something. Her smile slowly disappeared. "Where is the festival again?"

"It's taking place in Los Angeles. Is that a problem?"

Santana chewed on her bottom lip as she contemplated the question. This was an opportunity that she simply couldn't say no to. "No." She finally said. "It's not a problem."

"Okay, great. Have a nice evening, Santana."

"You too." Santana said before ending the call. She shoved her phone into her pocket and looked at her girlfriend who was waiting for an explanation. She couldn't help but smile widely as she said, "My boss wants me to represent Schuester's Magazine at a cultural festival."

Brittany quickly set her food aside and lunged for Santana, cupping her cheeks and assaulting her face with kisses. "I'm so happy for you." She mumbled against Santana's lips before capturing them with her own. Santana smiled into the kiss and slowly ran her hands up and down Brittany's sides, squeezing her waist in affection. Brittany pulled back and grinned at her. "I'm so proud of you, San."

Santana felt her heart swell with love all over again. "Thanks, Britt."

"Where is the festival and when are you leaving?" Brittany asked curiously, tilting her head in an adorable way that momentarily distracted Santana.

"I'm leaving the day after tomorrow. Will is sending me the details of my flight later." She hesitated slightly before adding, "It's in L.A."

Santana watched the blood drain from Brittany's face. The blonde's hands instantly began to tremble slightly but she quickly tucked them between her thighs to hide it. Santana still noticed though. Brittany took a moment to compose herself before she spoke again. "Oh.. I- That's…" She trailed off, breathing in deeply and forcing a smile on her face. "I'm happy for you."

"It's okay to admit that you're scared, Britt." Santana said softly.

"I'm not scared." Brittany stubbornly shook her head. "It's just that… you'll be on a plane… traveling to L.A..." She sighed, frustrated with herself, and looked down at her lap. "This isn't about me, San. Your career is important and I know that you'll do amazing. Don't worry about me and my stupid fear of planes."

"It's not a stupid fear, Britt." Santana argued, moving closer to Brittany and rubbing her hand up and down the blonde's arm soothingly. "It's completely understandable. Do you want me to stay home? I can call Will back right now and-"

"No." Brittany said quickly. "I'm not going to ruin this for you."

Santana studied Brittany's features intently. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely." Brittany said with a small smile. She cupped Santana's cheek in her hand and lightly brushed her thumb over Santana's lips before leaning in to kiss her softly. She rested their foreheads together and gazed into brown eyes. "I love you, Santana."

Santana smiled tenderly. "I love you too."

* * *

The next day, Santana invited Brittany over to stay at her place so that they could spend some more time together before she left. Santana was planning on cooking her a nice romantic dinner. Brittany's panic attack had scared the hell out of her and she couldn't help but be worried about her girlfriend, even though she would only be gone for a couple of days.

Santana hated shopping for groceries, especially when it was busy. Luckily for her there weren't many people in the supermarket today so she easily found all the things she needed. She had just rounded a corner when a surprised voice stopped her dead in her tracks.

"Santana?"

It was a dreadfully familiar voice. She felt the hairs on her arms stand up as she slowly turned around to see her mother standing there. Santana watched as the emotions on her face changed from startled to surprised, from surprised to curious, and finally relaxed into a blank expression. She took a step in Santana's direction and Santana automatically took a step backwards.

"How are you?"

Santana scoffed. "Like you care."

"Of course I care." Maribel said. "Despite the bad choices you've made, you're still my daughter."

Santana just looked at her in disbelief.

"Look, I don't want to fight with you, Santana." Maribel sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I wish you'd just get over this ridiculous phase already. The sooner you do that, the sooner you can get married to a nice young man and live a normal life."

"Are you…" Santana cut herself off mid-sentence and took a calming breath. She had heard this so many times already. It wasn't worth getting angry over anymore. "You know what? I don't have time for this. I have a beautiful girlfriend, a great job and amazing friends. I'm happy and I really don't care what you think."

"You're happy that you're living in sin?" Maribel narrowed her eyes accusingly. "I hope all the pain you've caused our family is worth it."

Santana shook her head and clenched her jaw in disbelief, her eyes burning with repressed tears. She didn't know why her mother's words still had so much impact on her. "The pain _I've _caused?" She repeated in a strained voice.

"You and your selfish actions tore our family apart, Santana." Maribel hissed angrily. "I have to explain to everyone how our daughter abandoned us to pursue a disgusting lifestyle. You're an embarrassment."

Santana's bottom lip quivered and the first tear rolled down her cheek. She hated herself for letting her mother's words get to her, again. A lump grew in her throat as her stomach twisted into a knot. Without another word, she roughly shoved past her mother and stormed towards the exit, leaving her cart behind in the aisle.

"Of course, run away!" She heard her mother call after her. "Run instead of facing up to your mistakes and fixing them!"

Santana ignored her. She was livid. Hot, angry tears were pouring down her cheeks by the time she reached her car. She quickly got in and banged her hands on the steering wheel, screaming at the top of her lungs.

Santana took a few deep breaths to calm herself down enough to drive safely and pulled out of the parking lot. By the time she got home, all she could do was collapse on the couch and cry over the one thing she had sworn to never cry over again. She had always told herself that her parents just needed some time and that they'd accept her eventually.

It was safe to say that she had never felt more stupid in her entire life than she did at that moment.

Somewhere along the line she drifted off to sleep, waking up hours later to the sound of knocking. She climbed off the couch and dragged herself over to the door, rubbing at her eyes. "Santana, why haven't you been answering your phone?" Brittany rushed out as soon as she came face to face with her girlfriend. Her brow furrowed in concern when she saw how red and puffy Santana's eyes were. She had obviously been crying. "Hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." Santana mumbled, holding the door open and waiting for Brittany to step inside before closing it.

Brittany took off her coat, kicked off her shoes and put her bag down on the floor before following Santana into the living room. She joined Santana on the couch and placed her hand on her lower back, dipping her head down to try and catch her gaze. "Are you going to tell me what happened?"

Santana stubbornly stared ahead. She didn't want to dump her problems on Brittany.

"Babe," Brittany sighed, rubbing small circles on Santana's back. She knew that Santana was a very proud person who valued her strength above anything, never wanting to show her vulnerable side to anyone. Not even her. "Please talk to me. Maybe I can help."

Santana took a deep breath and slightly turned her head to meet Brittany's soft blue eyes. "I ran into someone at the supermarket." She said softly, her heart squeezing painfully as her mother's words ran through her mind again. Brittany patiently waited for her to continue, her hand still rubbing the same patterns on her back. Santana glanced down at her lap again. "I ran into my mom and she said some things that upset me a little."

"Oh." Brittany breathed out, realization washing over her features. She gently brushed the hair away from Santana's face and cupped her chin, forcing eye-contact. "I'm sorry, honey. What did she say?"

"It doesn't matter." Santana said, her voice barely above a whisper. She closed her eyes for a brief moment, causing a tear to fall down her cheek.

Brittany felt her heart break into a million pieces. She had never seen Santana cry before and she wanted so desperately to make her hurt go away. Moving closer to her girlfriend, she wrapped her arm around her waist and pulled her into her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "What's going on, baby?"

Santana pressed the heels of her hands to her eyes, as if to push the tears back. "I'm sorry that I ruined our night." She whimpered. "I was going to cook you a romantic dinner but I ran out of the supermarket without buying anything!"

"Shh, you didn't ruin anything." Brittany said gently, prying Santana's hands away from her face and wiping her tears away with the pads of her thumbs. "It's really sweet that you wanted to cook me a romantic dinner but in the end what matters most to me is just spending time with you. Please don't feel bad about this, San. I'm not that hungry anyway."

A small smile appeared on Santana's face and Brittany's heart warmed up at the sight of it. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Santana's mouth and then to her lips. "Come on," She said after pulling away. "I'll fix us something simple to eat and then we're going to bed early. You look exhausted."

"Yes, ma'am." Santana playfully answered as she stood up to follow Brittany into the kitchen.

Santana sat down on a stool by the counter while Brittany opened the refrigerator door. "Let's see what we've got here." She murmured thoughtfully. Santana folded her hands under her chin and just waited. "Well, there's cheese so I can make grilled cheese sandwiches?"

"Sounds good."

Brittany gathered everything she needed and went to work. Santana just watched her as she skillfully moved around the kitchen. It brought a smile to her face to see her girlfriend slide across the wooden flooring in her socks, whistling a random tune and bobbing her head in time with a beat only she could hear. She looked relaxed and Santana loved watching her like this.

A few minutes later, Brittany placed a plate of food in front of Santana and placed her own next to it before turning around to get them both a glass of water. Brittany's feet were barely audible on the floor as she walked around the counter to take a seat next to Santana who flashed her an appreciative smile.

Santana picked up her sandwich and took a small bite out of it, letting out a moan of delight. "This is amazing, Britt!" Brittany giggled and playfully bumped Santana's shoulder with her own. "No, I'm being serious. This is the best food I've ever tasted."

"Santana," Brittany rolled her eyes. "It's a grilled cheese sandwich."

"So?"

Brittany shook her head in amusement but didn't say anything. She was happy that Santana seemed a little happier than before. They continued to eat in a comfortable silence, both just simply enjoying each other's company. When they were finished, Santana went to stand up but Brittany stopped her by placing her hand on her arm.

"You've got a little…" Brittany trailed off and pointed to the corner of her own mouth.

Santana settled back in her seat and smirked at Brittany. "What?" She looked at her, tilting her head slightly. Brittany smiled and leaned in, kissing her softly. Santana felt Brittany's soft tongue slip over the spot on her lip she had pointed at earlier and she laughed into her mouth, making Brittany smile into the kiss. Santana wrapped her arms around Brittany's neck and pulled her closer, deepening the kiss.

* * *

"Thank you." Santana said as she crawled into bed a while later, snuggling up against Brittany.

Brittany wrapped her arms around the brunette and pressed a kiss to her forehead. "For what?"

"For tonight." Santana explained as she started to place soft kisses down Brittany's neck, pausing at her pulse point and nipping lightly on the sensitive skin. "You always know how to cheer me up."

"Hmm." Brittany hummed distractedly, craning her neck to give Santana more access. "There's no need to thank me. You know I'm always here for you." Instead of replying, Santana rolled further on top of her and slowly ran her hand down her clothed stomach. Brittany's eyes automatically fluttered shut and she let out a soft, "San."

Santana smiled and lifted her head to capture Brittany's lips with her own, kissing her with passion. She trailed her tongue over Brittany's bottom lip before gliding it inside, causing Brittany to whimper softly into her mouth. Brittany slid her hand up the back of Santana's neck and tangled her fingers into her hair, pulling her closer and deepening the kiss even more. Santana moaned as she explored the familiar warmth of her girlfriend's mouth, feeling a jolt of arousal surge through her body.

She bit down on Brittany's bottom lip and sucked on it, earning a whimper from Brittany who rested her hands just below Santana's ribs. Santana slowly slipped her hand under Brittany's shirt and lightly ran her fingers over the bumpy texture of her skin, feeling Brittany's muscles jerk and react to her touch. Brittany tensed when Santana placed her hand on her thigh and a sudden wave of panic hit her when she realized where this was going.

"San," She mumbled, trying to catch the attention of her girlfriend who was now placing kisses along her jawline. When Santana didn't respond, she grabbed the brunette's wrist and pushed her hand off her thigh. "Santana stop."

Santana's head immediately shot up at this and she looked at Brittany in confusion. "What's wrong?"

"Let's just go to sleep." Brittany said softly, looking away from her and staring at the wall instead.

Santana sighed sadly when she realized what was happening and placed her hand on Brittany's cheek that was now colored red from embarrassment. "Britt, sweetheart, please look at me." Brittany bit her lip and stubbornly kept her eyes focused on the wall. "Okay." Santana mumbled unhappily. "It's alright if you can't look at me but please listen." She lightly caressed Brittany's cheek with her thumb and paused for a second, making sure that she had Brittany's full attention, before continuing. "You don't ever have to hide from me, Britt. I've already seen you and I'm still here. Do you know why that is?" She questioned, smiling softly when Brittany's eyes hesitantly met hers. "It's because you're the most beautiful girl I've ever met. I know that you don't believe me when I say that but it's true."

Brittany looked away again and started to squirm underneath Santana's weight. "Please get off me."

Santana sighed and rolled off her, landing on her back and staring up at the ceiling. "I don't know what I have to do to make you believe me, Brittany."

"I…" Brittany started, searching for the right words. "I do believe you, San. Only because I know that you wouldn't lie to me." Santana frowned and glanced at Brittany sideways, patiently waiting for her to explain. Brittany was silent for a long time and then suddenly rolled over onto her side so that her back was turned to Santana. "It's me who I'm hiding from. I don't want to see myself when I look like this."

Brittany's words broke Santana's heart in pieces. She could literally feel it shatter in her chest. It took a moment for her brain to start working again and she rolled over onto her side as well, wrapping her arms around Brittany tightly. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to form words but nothing seemed right, her mouth moving soundlessly. Brittany sighed heavily and grabbed Santana's hand, lacing their fingers together.

"I love you, Santana."

Santana was glad that Brittany couldn't see her face because this gave her the chance to quickly wipe away the lone tear that had escaped her eye. She pressed a soft kiss behind Brittany's ear and softly whispered, "I love you too, Brittany."

* * *

"Brittany!"

Brittany shot up in bed, covered in sweat with her heart pounding in her chest. Santana sat up and wrapped her arms around her shaking girlfriend. Brittany leaned back into her, squeezing her eyes shut and trying to catch her breath. Once she had calmed down a little, Santana brushed the hair out of her face and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, just a bad dream." Brittany told her softly. "What time is it?"

"Time for you to get up." Santana informed the blonde, watching her worriedly. She rubbed her hand up and down Brittany's back in an attempt to comfort her. "You slept through your alarm. It woke me up."

"I'm sorry." Brittany apologized groggily.

"It's okay, babe." Santana reassured her gently, pressing another kiss to her temple before climbing out of bed. She stretched a little before grabbing a sweater and pulling it over her head. "You take a shower and I'll fix you some breakfast."

"But…" Brittany started to say something but Santana cut her off.

"No protests." She said firmly as she walked over to Brittany who was sitting on the edge of the bed and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I'm making my girl breakfast. Now go and get your butt in the shower."

Brittany tried to glare at Santana but found it impossible with the way she was smiling at her. She sighed and pulled herself into a standing position before slowly dragging herself into the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, Brittany was sitting in the kitchen with a plate of half eaten breakfast in front of her. Santana watched Brittany silently as she distractedly pushed the food around her plate. After a while, she couldn't take it anymore and stood up, walking around the table and wrapping her arms around Brittany from behind. "What's going on?"

"Everything's fine." Brittany mumbled.

Santana frowned skeptically and placed her hand on Brittany's chest. "Britt, your heart is racing."

Brittany sighed softly and pushed her plate away. "I just have a bad feeling about your trip." Her eyes fluttered shut when Santana started to massage her shoulders, some of the tension instantly leaving her body. "Don't worry, it's probably just in my head."

"I'm sure everything will be fine." Santana replied, unsure of what else to say. "Please promise me that you'll call Noah if you're starting to get anxious and feel like you might panic. I don't want you to be by yourself in case anything happens."

Brittany opened her eyes and shrugged Santana's hands off, picking up her plate and bringing it to the sink. "I can take care of myself, okay?" She said with her back turned to Santana. "I'm sorry that I scared you at my parents' house but there's no need to worry so much."

"I can't help it." Santana admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. "Please just promise me that you'll call Noah, Britt. I know how proud you can be sometimes."

"Fine." Brittany agreed, slight annoyance noticeable in her voice. She disappeared into the bedroom and reappeared with her bag a few moments later. "I have to go to work." She announced as she moved to stand directly in front of Santana who was now seated. "Quinn is dropping you off at the airport, right?"

Santana nodded and placed her hands on Brittany's hips, pulling her closer. Brittany got the message and leaned down to give her a soft kiss on the lips. Pulling away, Santana smiled up at Brittany, her thumbs rubbing small circles over the blonde's hipbones. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too." Brittany replied, placing another sweet kiss on her lips. "Please call me when you've landed, okay?"

"I will." Santana reassured her.

Brittany smiled and reluctantly stepped away from her. She quickly put on her coat and picked up her bag before walking towards the door. Glancing over her shoulder, she winked at Santana and blew her a kiss. "Bye, beautiful."

Playing along, Santana caught the kiss and held it closely to her chest. "Bye, baby."


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: _Thanks for the reviews. Enjoy! :)

* * *

**Chapter 13. **

Brittany sighed as she walked into the back room where each employee had a small locker. It had been a long day and she had spent most time worrying about Santana. She checked her phone and to her relief she had a voicemail from her girlfriend informing her that she had landed safely. Brittany quickly called her back and she answered on the first ring.

"Hey!"

"Hi, babe." Brittany replied, happy to hear Santana's voice. "How was your flight?"

"It was good." Santana said through a yawn. "I was squashed between two people but Will probably booked late. I'm a little tired though so I'm relaxing at the hotel right now." She paused for a second before adding, "I miss you already."

Brittany leaned against her locker and smiled softly, even though Santana couldn't see it. "Yeah, me too."

"What are you up to?"

"I just finished my shift and I have dance class later tonight." Brittany told her. "Are you excited for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, definitely. I can't really do any work yet until I've gone to the events so I can't wait." Santana said brightly. Brittany hummed in agreement but didn't say anything. A few seconds of silence passed before Santana spoke again. "So, how are you?"

It was an innocent question but Brittany could hear the seriousness in Santana's voice. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. "I'm fine, San. I told you not to worry."

"I'm just making sure." Santana said and Brittany could picture her shrugging her shoulders. "I texted Noah, by the way. Just in case you let your pride stand in the way again."

"What?" Brittany asked, annoyance seeping into her voice. "Why would you do that? How did you even get his number?"

"I got it from Tina." Santana told her calmly. "Please don't be mad at me, Britt. I'm just looking out for you."

Brittany realized that Santana meant well but that didn't stop the anger that bubbled up inside of her. "I can't believe you, Santana. I told you that I'll be fine on my own." She paused and shook her head in disbelief, slamming her locker shut in frustration. "Stop treating me like a child!"

"I'm not treating you like a child." Santana argued, raising her voice as well. "I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I can take care of myself." Brittany said, emphasizing each word. For some reason she felt the need to prove to Santana that she could handle things on her own. "I've been taking care of myself for years, Santana. I'm coping perfectly fine without you. I don't need you." As soon as the words left her mouth, she regretted them. She had been too caught up in her anger to even realize what she had said until her ears were met with silence. "San…"

"Fine." Santana said softly, hurt lacing her voice. "That's good to know."

Before Brittany had the chance to say anything, she heard the annoying beeping tone indicating that Santana had ended the phone call. Brittany let her head fall back against the cold metal of her locker and released a frustrated sigh. She was beyond upset with herself. It had never been her intention to hurt Santana. She took a deep breath before calling Santana's number back, closing her eyes as she tried to think of the right words to say.

"This is the voicemail of Santana Lopez. Leave a message after the beep and maybe I'll call you back."

Brittany sighed and pressed the end button. She really wanted to apologize to Santana but it seemed like Santana needed her space right now. After a long moment of hesitation, she turned around and quickly grabbed her bag before exiting the room. She said goodbye to Marley and left the diner.

A few hours later, she came home sweaty from dance class and dropped her stuff by the door. She quickly fished her phone out of her pocket but was disappointed to see that she had no messages or missed calls from Santana. She scrolled through her contacts and called Santana's number. It went straight to voicemail. Panic squeezed her heart and her hands started to shake slightly.

"Santana is fine." She muttered to herself, squeezing her eyes shut. "She's just mad at you."

She opened her eyes and walked over to the sink in the kitchen. Setting her phone aside, she opened the tap and cupped some water into her hands, splashing it onto her face. She took a few deep breaths and was relieved when her panic slowly began to subside. She stood there for another moment and then made her way into the bathroom to take a quick shower before bed.

* * *

Brittany woke up to the loud sound of her alarm going off. She quickly grabbed her phone but there were still no messages from Santana. She sighed and got out of bed to get ready for work. Santana had been in L.A. for two days now and was supposed to come back today. She still hadn't replied to any of Brittany's messages and Brittany had never felt so guilty in her life. Her appetite was lacking so she decided to skip breakfast. On her way to Joey's, she checked her phone again but was once again disappointed.

The next hours passed slowly. Brittany watched the minutes pass on the clock, willing time to speed up. She couldn't concentrate on work. All her focus was on Santana who was still ignoring her. She kept replaying their phone call in her head, getting madder at herself each time. She hadn't meant what she'd said and she wished that she could take it back.

Lunch break came around and Brittany walked to her locker to retrieve her phone. Biting her lip, she hesitated for a moment before scrolling through her contacts and stopping at Quinn's name. Santana had given Quinn's number to her in case of an emergency. She felt guilt overwhelm her again being reminded of her girlfriend's sweetness. She took a deep breath and pressed the call button.

"Hello?"

"Have you heard from Santana?" Brittany rushed out.

There was a pause before Quinn's confused voice sounded again, "Who is this?"

"I'm sorry." Brittany apologized, feeling her cheeks heat up with embarrassment. "It's Brittany. I got your number from Santana."

"Oh, I see. To answer your question, no I haven't heard from Santana yet. She is supposed to call me when she has landed since it's only a ten minute drive to the airport anyway so I can come pick her up. I guess her flight is delayed. Why?"

Brittany felt her heart rate speed up. "I tried calling her but she isn't picking up and I'm worried."

"I'm sure she's fine." Quinn said after a pause. "I'll try calling her in a little while and then I'll call you back, okay?"

"Thank you."

Brittany ended the call and shoved her phone back into her bag. She closed her locker and rested her forehead against the door. Her hands were shaking and she could feel tears forming in her eyes. This couldn't be happening. Not again. She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to focus on her breathing. In and out.

"Brittany?" A familiar voice startled her. She turned around to face Marley who was watching her with concern in her eyes. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah." Brittany said softly, her voice sounding shaky and weak. Marley narrowed her eyes, disbelief evident on her face, and took a step closer to her. Brittany inhaled deeply, focusing on expanding her lungs and taking in as much oxygen as she could. Finally, she spoke again. "No, I don't think I am."

"What's wrong?"

"Santana was supposed to be back from L.A. already but she's not." Brittany explained. "She's not answering her phone and I'm really worried."

"Well, you shouldn't worry too much. Her flight is probably just delayed." Marley tried to reassure Brittany but it seemingly wasn't working. She placed her hand on Brittany's arm and could feel the limb tremble under her touch. "You don't look well, Britt. Why don't you take the rest of the day off? I can cover your shift."

Brittany wanted to protest but didn't have the energy to do so. "Are you sure?"

Marley nodded. "Go home, honey. Try not to stress yourself out too much."

Brittany thanked her and leaned in to give her a quick hug. After they parted, Brittany removed her apron and opened her locker to grab her stuff. She slipped on her coat and shoved her shaking hands into her pockets as she made her way outside. When she finally arrived home a little while later, she slumped down on the couch and closed her eyes for a moment. Being ignored was the worst feeling in the world. Her phone started vibrating in her hand and she quickly answered it.

"And?" She asked before Quinn had the chance to say anything. "Have you heard from her yet?"

"No but I checked the weather reports and there have been extreme rainstorms all around California since this morning." Brittany felt her heart drop to her stomach as she listened to Quinn's words. "I called the airport and due to the weather conditions a lot of flights have been cancelled or delayed. I couldn't get any information on Santana's flight because the woman on the phone acted like a complete bitch. Like I get that it's chaos at the airport right now but that was uncalled for!"

"Oh God." Brittany whimpered, drawing her knees to her chest. "Quinn, what if her flight took off?"

"Don't think like that, Brittany." Quinn told her. "We would've been informed already if that was the case. Just try to stay calm and I'll call you if I hear anything else, okay?"

"Thanks, Quinn."

Brittany ended the call and wrapped her arms around her knees, still clutching her phone in one of her shaking hands. The stress was becoming too much and she could feel herself begin to panic. She squeezed her eyes shut and forced herself to try and steady her breathing and focus on something other than the panic racing through her veins.

It wasn't working.

Her chest was beginning to feel tight and her palms were sweating. She kept hearing Santana's voice in her head. Her girlfriend had sounded so hurt and knowing that she had been the one to cause her that pain made her feel like the worst person in the world. Brittany's heart pounded an uneasy, rapid rhythm in her chest as her panic increased. She forced her heavy eyelids open and shakily dialed the familiar number of her best friend before pressing the phone to her ear.

"Yo Britt!"

Brittany tried to speak but no words came out. She swallowed a few times and finally managed to get out a soft, "Noah?"

"Hey, what's wrong?" Noah asked, sounding more alert now.

"Can you come over?" Brittany asked shakily.

"Of course." Noah said and Brittany heard some shuffling. "I'll be there in 5 minutes."

True to his word, Noah walked into her apartment a few minutes later, using his own key. He rushed to Brittany's side, his eyes glimmering with concern, and quickly pulled her into a hug. Brittany's body was rigid with tension and every breath she took seemed to cause physical pain. Noah pulled back and placed his hand on his best friend's cheek, trying to get her attention. "What happened?"

Brittany's eyes were unfocused; as if she was seeing through him. He lightly patted her cheek and tried again. "Brittany, look at me." Brittany's eyes darted around before they settled on his, blinking away the blurriness. "I'm here, baby girl. Please try to calm down and take deep breaths."

Brittany's breathing slowly returned to normal as she felt herself returning to reality. She gripped Noah's wrist and looked at him with pleading eyes. "Santana…"

"Santana?" Noah repeated questioningly, his eyebrows scrunching together in confusion. "Where is she? Wasn't she supposed to get back today?"

Brittany frantically nodded her head. "There are storms all over California so there's complete chaos at LAX. Santana was supposed to call Quinn after she had landed but she never did and now she's not answering her phone and I'm scared!"

"Okay, calm down." Noah said, rubbing her back. "She's probably stuck at LAX because her flight has been cancelled."

"But why isn't she answering her phone?" Brittany asked, feeling panic build up inside of her again. "I can't calm down when my girlfriend is missing!"

"You need to be strong right now, Brittany. Don't work yourself up like this because I don't want you to have a panic attack." Noah told her firmly. She sighed and nodded once, guiltily glancing away. She hated making people worry about her. That's why she had agreed to see a therapist. Noah had been beyond happy when she had told him about her first session. Her friend gently squeezed her knee to get her attention again. "Why don't you have shower, get dressed in some comfy clothes, while I fix you something to eat?"

Brittany shook her head. "I have to be here in case Quinn calls."

"I can answer your phone." Noah said, gently prying Brittany's phone out of her hand. "I'll also try to call the airport again to see if there's any news, deal?"

"Deal." Brittany reluctantly agreed.

Ten minutes later, she walked back into the room looking a lot more freshened up than before. She was dressed in a pair of sweatpants, socks and a t-shirt that she had once borrowed from Santana. Noah shot her a warm smile and gestured for her to sit down at the table. Once she was seated, he set a plate of food in front of her. "There you go."

"Thanks." Brittany said softly. "Since when can you cook?"

"Microwaved meals get boring after a while." Noah replied with a shrug as he sat down next to her.

Brittany half smiled and gathered some food onto her fork. "Did you call the airport?"

"Yeah but I didn't get through." Noah sighed, causing Brittany to look up at him with panic quickly returning to her eyes. "The phone lines are probably messed up or something."

"Dammit." Brittany muttered under her breath as she dropped her fork back onto the plate. She propped her elbow up on the table and leaned her forehead into her hand. "I can't just sit around and do nothing. Maybe we should drive to the airport. I'm sure they have more information there."

She went to stand up but Noah stopped her by gently pushing her back down. "Britt, the best thing to do right now is wait. I'm sure that Santana's fine, her phone battery is probably dead. It would've been on the news by now if there had been a plane crash."

Brittany felt a shiver run down her spine at his words. "I'm not hungry anymore, sorry."

"That's okay." Noah said as he grabbed her plate and dumped the contents onto his. "How about we watch a movie to pass the time?"

"Sure." Brittany mumbled half-heartedly.

After Noah had finished eating, they moved to the living room and turned on the TV. Brittany sat down on the couch and waited until Noah had picked out a movie. He took a seat next to her and she rested her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her waist. She sighed and tried to focus on the people moving on the screen but it wasn't long before her attention wandered off to Santana. She had been so mean to her girlfriend during their last conversation and she would never forgive herself if something had happened to her.

Noah wasn't sure when they had fallen asleep, all he knew was that he was woken up by the sound of knocking. He carefully unwrapped his arm from Brittany's waist and shifted her so that she was lying flat on her back. When he opened the door, a very concerned looking Tina stormed inside. "Is Britt okay?"

"Hello to you too." Noah said as he closed the door. "And yes, Brittany is fine. She's sleeping. Why?"

"Marley told me that she left work early." Tina explained in a much softer voice. "What's going on and why does no one ever tell me anything?"

Noah sighed and briefly updated Tina on the day's events. By the time he was finished speaking, Tina had grown silent and was merely nodding in understanding. They were interrupted by the sound of mumbling and quickly walked into the living room. Brittany was thrashing around on the couch and obviously in the grips of a nightmare. Noah quickly knelt down by her side and gently tapped her on the cheek. Dodging a punch to the stomach, he placed his hands on Brittany's shoulders and shook her until her eyes flew open. She was gasping for air, looking more exhausted than ever.

"Get her anxiety medication, Tina." Noah said as he gathered Brittany in his arms.

"What?"

"Get her anxiety medication." Noah repeated. "It's probably in the bathroom."

Tina returned quickly and shoved two pills in Noah's hand along with a glass of water. She watched as Noah coaxed Brittany's mouth open and made her swallow the medication. The blonde calmed down a few minutes later and fell back asleep. Noah released a sigh of relief. He grabbed a blanket and draped it over his best friend's body.

"Do you really think that Santana is alright?" Tina asked quietly.

Noah nodded. "Like I told Brittany, it would've been reported by now if there had been an accident. Santana's flight was probably cancelled and she's stuck at the airport."

"But why hasn't she called anyone?"

"I'm sure there's a reason for that." Noah replied confidently.

Tina nodded silently. She grabbed the remote and turned on the news. There were weather reports on almost every channel. Apparently some areas in California were even being evacuated because of the rainstorms. Her eyes met Noah and she could see the worry in them. She sighed and took a seat on the arm rest of the couch as Brittany slept peacefully.

* * *

Brittany was startled awake a few hours later by her phone ringing. She groaned and answered the call with a groggy, "Hello?"

"Britt?"

Brittany bolted upright with a gasp, earning a confused look from her friends who were apparently still there. "Santana!"

"Oh my god, Britt!" Santana practically sobbed into the phone. "I swear I've been trying to call you all day but the battery of my phone died and it's complete chaos at the airport! Nobody would let me borrow their damn phone and the useless people who work here are running around like a bunch of chickens with their heads cut off so I finally just stole one! I'm so sorry…"

"Baby, breathe." Brittany soothed, tears of relief rolling down her cheeks. "I'm so glad to hear your voice! I was so worried. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Santana reassured her. "Luckily, the weather is finally dying down a little so I'm catching the first plane out of here. I promise!'

Brittany sighed and slumped against the couch cushions. "I'm so glad that you're okay, San. I was so scared… I-I thought that…"

"I know, honey. I'm so sorry."

"No, you're not the one who should be apologizing." Brittany sniffled miserably. "Santana, you have no idea how sorry I am about what I said to you. I swear I didn't mean it."

"Shh, let's talk about this when I get home." Santana's voice was so sweet that it only made Brittany feel guiltier. "The guy whose phone I stole just noticed that it's gone and- shit! He's walking in my direction. I have to go, okay? I promise that I'll be home soon."

"Okay. Please be safe."

"I will. Can you please call Quinn for me? Tell her that I'll catch a cab home. I don't know how late I'll be there."

"Of course." Brittany replied as she wiped some of her tears away with her free hand. "God, I was so scared. I don't know what I would've done if…"

"I know, Britt." Santana said softly. "Don't think about that. I'm okay."

Brittany sniffled again. "I love you so much, Santana."

"I love you too, Brittany." Santana said and Brittany closed her eyes. She had never been more happy to hear those words. "I have to go, baby. I'll see you soon."

"Bye, San."

"Bye."

Brittany hung up the phone and released a sigh of relief, wiping at the tears that had escaped her eyes. She took a moment to compose herself before she quickly dialed Quinn's number and informed the blonde on what had happened. When she ended the call, she put her phone away and looked at her friends who were staring at her in expectance.

"Santana is okay."

They both sighed in relief and Noah walked over to her to give her a quick hug. It was already late at night so Brittany told them that they should go home and get some sleep. When she made her way into her bedroom a little while later, she curled up under the covers with a pillow clutched to her chest, staring at the clock on the bedside table and waiting as the minutes slowly passed.

Brittany lay awake for hours until sleep finally overcame her.

* * *

Santana called her the next morning to let her know that she had landed safely. When Brittany asked her if she could see her, Santana told her that she was going home to get some sleep first. Her voice sounded tired and strained and Brittany realized that she was probably still upset with her. Brittany understood and Santana promised that she'd come over later during the day.

When there was a knock on Brittany's door a few hours later, she almost stumbled over her own feet in her rush to get there. As soon as she came face to face with Santana, she threw her arms around the shorter girl and pulled her into a tight hug. She felt Santana wrap her arms around her waist and she sighed happily, pressing a kiss to Santana's neck and inhaling her scent.

"I'm so, so glad that you're okay." Brittany whispered.

Santana tightened her arms around Brittany's waist but didn't say anything. They pulled away and blue eyes met brown ones. Brittany noticed that Santana looked tired and she frowned in concern, gently brushing some strands of hair behind her girlfriend's ear. "You look exhausted, San. You took a nap, right?"

Santana nodded. "It's just been a long few days."

Brittany pouted in sympathy and gestured for Santana to come inside. They made their way over to the couch and sat down next to each other. Brittany felt her heart drop when she saw that Santana still had her coat on. That probably meant that she wasn't planning on staying long. She sighed and nervously fiddled with her hands.

"So…" Brittany trailed off, not quite sure of what to say. Santana just looked at her in expectance and she cleared her throat before trying again, "I'm sorry for what I said, Santana. I didn't mean it. I was just scared but too proud to admit it and I took it out on you. I know it's not an excuse but I hope you can forgive me."

Santana pursed her lips in thought before she spoke. "You really hurt me when you said that, Britt. I was just trying to help."

"I know." Brittany said softly, guiltily glancing down at her hands. "It was never my intention to hurt you but I did and for that I'm sorry. The truth is that I do need you, more than you'll ever know. I love you, Santana." She hesitantly lifted her head to meet Santana's eyes. "Do you still love me?"

Santana rolled her eyes and moved closer to Brittany until their thighs were touching. "Of course I still love you, Britt. That's not going to change because of one hurtful comment."

Brittany brought her hand to Santana's cheek and gently stroked her thumb over the soft skin as she leaned in to bring their lips together in a sweet kiss. "I was stupid." She mumbled before pressing another light kiss to Santana's lips. "And I'm sorry." She kissed Santana's nose this time and Santana smiled a bit. Brittany grinned. "There's the smile I love."

Santana turned her head to press her lips against Brittany's warm palm. "I forgive you but I'm still mad at you."

"I know." Brittany said softly. She brushed some hair away from Santana's face and connected their lips again, this time deepening the kiss. Santana felt Brittany's tongue slide over hers and immediately melted into the touch with a groan, wrapping her arms around Brittany's waist and closing her eyes. Brittany detached her lips from Santana's and pulled her closer so that there wasn't any space left between their bodies. She placed soft kisses down Santana's jawline and nipped lightly on her neck before speaking softly into her ear, "Please don't leave."

"Who says I'm leaving?" Santana asked, running her fingers through Brittany's hair.

"You're still wearing your coat." Brittany pointed out.

"Oh." Santana mumbled, pulling away and slipping the item of clothing off her shoulders. "Better?"

Brittany nodded and gave her another peck on the lips before slightly pulling away. Santana sighed in contentment when Brittany gently started to massage her shoulders and she shifted her body in an attempt to get more comfortable. "Come here." Brittany directed Santana to sit between her legs as she leaned back against the arm of the couch, giving her better access to her back. "Is this okay?"

"It's perfect." Santana said with her eyes closed.

Brittany smiled and worked carefully on loosening the knots in Santana's muscles for a few minutes until she was heavily leaning back against her, completely relaxed. She pressed a kiss to Santana's temple and slowly started to comb her fingers through her dark locks. Brittany realized that Santana must've been more tired than she had thought because the brunette was fast asleep in a matter of seconds. She slipped out from underneath Santana and gently picked her up bridal style, careful not to wake her up, before carrying her into the bedroom and laying her down on the bed. Luckily, she was wearing comfortable clothes so Brittany didn't have to change her into something else. Brittany spooned Santana from behind and pulled the covers over them. She sighed happily and nuzzled her nose in Santana's hair.

Santana stirred and turned around in her arms. She tucked her head under Brittany's chin, buried her face in the curve of her neck and placed a soft kiss on pale skin. "Did everything go okay while I was gone?" She asked quietly.

Brittany knew what she was referring to. "Yeah, I called Noah and he came over." She said, feeling a little embarrassed. Santana pulled back to look at her. "I almost panicked but he made sure I took my medication."

Santana gave her a soft kiss on the lips. "I'm proud of you, Britt."

"Why? I needed someone to take care of me, again." Brittany murmured bitterly, averting her eyes away from Santana's.

"Hey," Santana whispered, placing her hand on Brittany's cheek to make her look at her. Blue eyes met hers and she smiled softly. "There's nothing wrong with needing help sometimes. You can't do everything alone, no matter how strong you are."

She waited for Brittany to nod before cuddling into the blonde's chest again. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana and dropped a kiss on her forehead. "I want to hear all about your trip." She told her girlfriend. Santana opened her mouth to speak but yawned instead. Brittany let out a soft laugh. "But it can wait until later."

"'Kay." Santana mumbled adorably.

Brittany smiled. "I can't believe you stole someone's phone."

"I had to reach you somehow." Santana said groggily, looking at her through sleepy eyes. "I gave it back to him."

Brittany laughed softly and shook her head in amusement. "Go to sleep, babe."

Santana nodded and closed her eyes, shifting to get comfortable in Brittany's warm embrace. It wasn't long before they both drifted off to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N:_ Hi :)

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.

* * *

**Chapter 14.**

Santana squinted her eyes against the sun as she leaned against her car. Brittany had been attending her therapy sessions faithfully for a while now and Santana was coming to pick her up. She smiled when she caught sight of Brittany and lifted her hand in a wave. When Brittany reached her, the blonde greeted her with a chaste kiss on the lips before pulling back. "Hi."

"Hey, babe." Santana replied as she held the door open and waited until Brittany had slid into the passenger seat. She walked around the car and took a seat behind the wheel. "How did it go?"

"Fine." Brittany said simply. She never shared much about her sessions and Santana didn't want to push her. "Where do you want to go get lunch?"

"I know a place." Santana said as she started the car.

A little while later, they walked into a small seafood restaurant where they asked for a table for two. The hostess smiled at them and grabbed two menus from a stack, motioning for them to follow. She led them to a secluded booth in the corner where they sat down and handed them their menus. "A waiter will be right with you."

The hostess walked away and Brittany opened her menu. "Let's see… a salad maybe?"

"You can order whatever you want, Britt." Santana said with a small smile. "I'm paying. No protests."

Brittany pursed her lips and scanned the menu again. "Even shrimp?"

Santana looked at her in amusement. "Yes."

After they had ordered their food and made small talk for a bit, Brittany steered the conversation to a more serious topic. "I heard that they're holding auditions for a dance part in a musical." Santana perked up at this and she nodded, silently asking her to continue. "It's a small production in a theatre that barely holds a hundred guests but it's something."

"Are you going to audition?" Santana asked, reaching across the table for Brittany's hand.

Brittany took a sip from her water before answering. "I don't know. I want to but there will probably be a lot of other dancers that are way better than me."

"Don't be so quick to put yourself down. You have as much chance to get the part as everyone else, honey." Santana sighed, running her thumb over her knuckles gently. "And even if you don't get it, you can at least say that you tried and it'll be a new learning experience."

Brittany nodded. "You're right. It's just that I haven't auditioned for anything since the accident and I don't want to mess it up."

"I understand." Santana said sympathetically. "But you've been working so hard these last couple of months. I believe in you. You're an amazing dancer and anyone who disagrees is just wrong."

Brittany smiled shyly. "Thanks, San."

Santana squeezed her hand. "When is the audition?"

"Next Friday." Brittany informed her, feeling her nerves kick back in. "I'll have to ask Joey for a day off."

"I'm sure that'll be fine." Santana assured her.

"Yeah, Joey is pretty awesome." Brittany smiled briefly but then turned serious again. "I'll probably won't get to see you much this week because I'll need all my free time to prepare for the audition."

"That's alright." Santana shrugged. "I'll miss you but it'll be worth it."

They spent the rest of lunch discussing other things before Santana smoothly handed her credit card to the waiter, but not without having to reassure Brittany again. Brittany was still pouting a bit when they left the restaurant. Santana smiled at her and took her hand as they began to walk back towards the car.

They pulled up in front of Brittany's apartment complex a few minutes later and Santana leaned over to press a light kiss to Brittany's lips. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay." Brittany smiled before capturing Santana's lips with her own again. She grabbed Santana's coat and pulled her even closer to deepen the kiss. After they pulled away, Brittany smiled shyly and tucked a strand of hair behind Santana's ear. "Thanks for lunch."

"You're welcome." Santana said softly. "I'll see you Friday then? After your audition."

Brittany nodded happily and pecked her on the lips once more before she unbuckled her seatbelt and got out of the car. She glanced over her shoulder and smiled brightly. "Bye, beautiful."

Santana returned the smile and watched as Brittany made her way towards the building. Once she was safely inside, Santana pulled out of the parking space and began to drive home.

* * *

The rest of the week flew by and before Brittany knew it, it was the day of her audition. She was so nervous that it felt like she could pass out at any moment. Santana had sent her a sweet text message earlier that had managed to calm her down a little bit but now that she was standing outside of the building where the auditions would take place, her nerves returned in full force.

She took a deep breath and slowly pushed the door open. There was a woman sitting behind the front desk who made her fill out some forms. She was then directed to a waiting area where other dancers had already gathered. Brittany awkwardly looked around before she took a seat on the floor in the corner of the room and started to stretch her muscles.

A while later, a man entered the room. "Good morning everyone. My name is Mr. Young and I'm in charge of the auditions today." He continued to inform them on some other things about the musical until he clasped his hands together. "Alright, who's first?"

As the auditions began, Brittany returned to her spot in the corner. The more names were called, the more nervous Brittany was beginning to feel. After a while she couldn't take in anymore and started to pace back and forth, unable to stay still. She nervously twisted her fingers together. It felt like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the room. Her legs were shaking, her stomach was turning and her head was spinning.

Her name was suddenly called out and her eyes widened. Brittany took a deep breath and slowly walked on stage. Her hands were sweating and her heartbeat was so loud that she could hear it in her ears. Mr. Young spoke some words from where he was sitting in the audience together with his assistant but Brittany was barely able to hear him. She blinked but the lights were far too bright and her throat felt rough.

The music that she had picked out suddenly started to play. She tried to remember her steps but her mind was completely blank and her feet remained planted firmly on the floor. Her eyes frantically darted around as she tried to get her body to cooperate. Mr. Young looked at her curiously and she suddenly felt embarrassment and shame coloring her face. She swallowed and let out a shaky breath before squeaking out a small, "I'm sorry."

She then spun around on her heels and darted out the door. The tears that she had desperately been holding in spilled down her cheeks as soon as she was standing outside the building. She took a deep breath to steady herself. Her head was pounding with such intensity that it was hard to keep her eyes open. She had never been so angry with herself. This had been her chance and she had messed it up.

Brittany didn't know how much time had passed before she finally began to walk home.

* * *

Santana headed straight to Brittany's apartment when she left work that day. She couldn't wait to hear all about Brittany's audition. She was proud of her girlfriend no matter what. It was a huge step for Brittany to even consider dancing for a living again. When she knocked on Brittany's door, it took Brittany longer to answer than usual.

"Hi." Brittany greeted her timidly, stepping aside so that Santana could enter.

Santana's smile faltered. She closed the door behind her and stepped forward to take Brittany into her arms. She felt Brittany tense up for a second before she hugged her back. Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek. "How was your audition?"

Santana felt Brittany's muscles tense up again before she abruptly pulled away. "It…" She trailed off and shook her head. "I wasn't… I didn't get the part."

"Oh." Santana breathed out, running a her hand through her hair. Brittany sighed and started to walk towards the kitchen. It took a moment for Santana's mind to catch up and she quickly followed her girlfriend who had started to rinse out some glasses. "Britt, what did they tell you exactly?"

"Does it matter?" Brittany asked, her shoulders drooping dejectedly. "I wasn't good enough and got rejected."

Santana bit her lip and moved closer to Brittany, leaning against the counter and crossing her arms over her chest. "Please don't give up, baby." She said softly. "This isn't the end of the world. There will be more auditions and opportunities. Promise me that you'll keep trying."

"Yeah." Brittany mumbled, distracted.

Santana grabbed one of Brittany's hand to still her movements and gave it a gentle squeeze until Brittany turned towards her. She cupped Brittany's cheek with her other hand and gazed into her eyes. "I'm serious, Brittany. Promise me."

Brittany hesitated for a moment and then nodded. "I promise."

Santana gently stroked her thumb along Brittany's jawline before leaning in to give her a soft kiss on the lips. Brittany kissed her back but something felt off, as if her mind was somewhere else. Pulling back, Brittany gave her a small smile but it didn't quite reach her eyes. Before she had the chance to say anything, Brittany was already pushing her out of the kitchen. "Go have a seat, San. I'll make us something to eat."

Santana mumbled some words of protest but complied anyway.

A little while later, Brittany carried two plates of food into the living room. She set them down on the coffee table and sat down next to Santana who smiled at her. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetie." Brittany returned the smile as she picked up her fork. "I know I'm not much of a cook compared to you but I hope you'll like it."

"My mom taught me a lot of recipes so I can't take too much credit." Santana told her with a shrug.

Brittany hesitated for a moment, not wanting to upset Santana, before asking, "Were you and your mom close when you were younger?"

Santana nodded slowly. "My dad often worked long hours so it was just the two of us most of the time."

"Have you considered talking to her again? Maybe she just…" Brittany trailed off when Santana's face darkened. She instantly realized that she had crossed a line.

"Yeah because things went _fantastic _when I last spoke with her." Santana muttered sarcastically, pushing her food around her plate. "Let's change the subject. I don't want to talk about this."

"You never want to talk about this." Brittany said quietly.

"No, I don't." Santana snapped angrily, turning her head to glare at Brittany. "My parents aren't part of my life anymore and I intend on keeping it that way. Jesus Christ, Brittany, stop pushing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about. You of all people should understand what that's like!"

Brittany swallowed the lump in her suddenly dry throat and glanced down at her hands. "I'm sorry."

Santana's demeanor softened at the sound of Brittany's small voice. She sighed and dropped her fork on her plate, scooting closer to Brittany and placing her hand on the blonde's lower back. "No, I'm sorry." She said softly. "I know that you just want to help. It's just that talking or even thinking about my parents really upsets me and I don't want ruin our night."

Brittany wanted to say something else but eventually came to the conclusion that it was best to let it go for now. "I understand."

* * *

Tying her hair into a messy ponytail, Santana walked into the bedroom where Brittany was already lying in bed. Santana crawled under the covers and rolled onto her side, slipping an arm around her girlfriend's waist. Brittany tore her eyes away from the ceiling and looked at her. "Hi."

"Hi." Santana echoed with a small smile, toying with the hem of Brittany's shirt. "What were you thinking about?"

"Nothing important." Brittany said softly.

Santana nudged Brittany's cheek with her nose and then placed a kiss on the same spot. "Tell me."

Brittany sighed and glanced away from her. "Just about today."

"Your audition?" Santana guessed.

Brittany nodded.

"What happened, honey?" Santana asked gently, propping herself up on one elbow so that her face was hovering over Brittany's. "Is there something that you're not telling me?"

Brittany's teeth found her bottom lip and chewed at it subtly to try and stop the quivering. Her eyes flickered away from Santana's face, unable to look into her girlfriend's brown orbs as she whispered a simple, "No."

"Are you sure?" Santana asked.

She saw a flicker of hesitation cross Brittany's face before she nodded once. "Yes."

"Okay." Santana said, even though she wasn't entirely convinced. Before she had the chance to say anything else, Brittany's hands were cupping her cheeks and she was pulled into a kiss. She sighed into Brittany's mouth and threaded her fingers into Brittany's long, soft hair. Brittany slowly dragged her tongue along Santana's bottom lip and Santana moaned, happily granting her entrance. The tip of Brittany's tongue grazed hers and she felt that familiar spark. They both groaned as their tongues continued to dance together passionately, their breathing becoming heavier, their legs tangling together.

Brittany let her hands roam all over Santana's body, making her shiver. Brittany's confidence gave Santana the confidence to take the next step. Using her knee, she pushed Brittany's legs open so that her thigh came in contact with the blonde's clothed center. Brittany's breath hitched and she pulled away from Santana's lips, her mouth falling open slightly as her fingers dug into Santana's shoulders. Santana moved her lips to Brittany's neck and sucked on the pale skin, hard enough to earn a soft moan of pleasure but not hard enough to leave a mark. She slid her hand under Brittany's shirt and ran it up her stomach, stopping just before she reached her breasts. Santana could feel that Brittany's hands were trembling when she placed them on either side of her head, directing her face up in order to capture her lips in another soft kiss.

Santana applied more pressure with her thigh while her hand traveled down to the waistband of Brittany's sweatpants. That was when Brittany tensed. She caught hold of Santana's hand and broke the kiss. Her girlfriend pulled back and eyed her intently. "Are you okay?"

Brittany closed her eyes and let out a shaky breath. "I'm sorry, San."

"Don't be." Santana whispered. Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist and pulled her down so that the brunette was lying on top of her, wanting to hold her as close as possible. Santana buried her face in Brittany's neck. "It's okay, Britt."

"It's not." Even though it sounded very faint, Santana heard the sob in Brittany's voice and her heart clenched tightly in her chest. She attempted to pull away to look at Brittany but Brittany shook her head and tightened her arms around her waist. She realized that Brittany was definitely crying when she felt the blonde's tears on her skin. "I-I keep d-disappointing you and it's not f-fair."

"You're not disappointing me." Santana spoke softly into her ear. Brittany just shook her head again and began to cry a little harder. "Baby, what's going on?"

"I don't want you to l-leave me." Brittany mumbled brokenly into her shoulder.

Santana's brow furrowed in shock. She gently ran her fingers through Brittany's hair and pressed a kiss to the warm skin of her neck. "Why would you think that?" She asked, her voice wavering slightly as her own emotions got the best of her. "I'm not going anywhere."

Brittany sniffled. "What if you get tired of waiting?"

"That's not going to happen." Santana said firmly. "I love you and I don't mind waiting. I would never pressure you into doing something you're not ready for."

"I haven't been with anyone since the accident." Brittany admitted quietly. Santana pressed a kiss to her cheek in silent reassurance, encouraging her to keep talking. "I want to make love to you, San, but I can't even look at myself without being disgusted. I want our first time together to be perfect. I don't want to zone out halfway through because I have to block out the image of my own body. It wouldn't be fair to you."

Santana exhaled slowly, trying to hold back the tears that were burning in her eyes. "I wish you could see how beautiful you are."

Brittany slowly ran her hand up Santana's back and pressed a kiss to her temple. "I just want to hold you all night." She breathed out. "Can I please just hold you?"

Santana nodded and snuggled even closer to Brittany, resting her head on her chest. Brittany sighed in relief and squeezed her tightly, gently rubbing the area between her shoulder blades. She listened to Santana's steady breathing and it wasn't until she was certain that her girlfriend had drifted off into peaceful sleep that she was able to close her own eyes.

* * *

Brittany let out a yawn as she slowly woke up. She tried to stretch out her arms but realized that she couldn't move. Her lips formed into a smile when she opened her eyes to find Santana still curled around her. The brunette had one arm draped over her waist, her head was resting on her chest and their legs were tangled together. Her breaths tickled Brittany's skin and Brittany could tell that she was still fast asleep.

Brittany brought one hand up to Santana's cheek and gently caressed the soft skin. Santana stirred in her sleep but didn't wake up. Brittany let her fingers lightly trace the outline of Santana's jaw before she stopped to scratch at a sensitive spot just behind Santana's ear. Santana let out a mumble of protest and pressed her face further into Brittany's chest.

"I know you're awake." Brittany smirked, poking Santana's sides, making her squirm.

"Sleep." Santana murmured, rolling off Brittany and onto her stomach, burying her face in her pillow.

Brittany rolled over as well and climbed half on top of Santana. She brushed her girlfriend's hair aside and teasingly ghosted her lips over the warm skin of her neck. When Santana showed no signs of responding, Brittany ran her hands down Santana's sides and began to tickle her. Santana squealed and started to wiggle underneath her, trying to escape.

"Britt!" She whined, attempting to hide a smile but failing miserably. "It's too early for this!"

Brittany grinned and finally climbed off her. "Fine, sleepyhead. I'll go make breakfast." She slipped a sweatshirt over her head and started to walk towards the door. "Hopefully you'll show up and if not, I guess I'll have to eat it by myself. Sad and lonely."

Santana groaned and blindly threw a pillow at Brittany that she dodged easily.

Ten minutes later, Brittany was standing by the stove in the kitchen when two arms slipped around her waist from behind. She smiled widely and tilted her head to the side to press a kiss to Santana's cheek. "How nice of you to join me."

Santana, who appeared to still be half-asleep, rested her chin on Brittany's shoulder. "What are you making?"

"Pancakes." Brittany replied. Santana hummed and closed her eyes, leaning heavily against Brittany. The blonde lifted her hand to run her fingers through Santana's messy hair and lightly scraped her nails across her scalp. "You can go back to bed if you're this tired, sweetie."

"I'm not tired." Santana said as she forced her eyes open, earning an amused look from Brittany. "I agreed to meet up with Quinn later so it was time for me to get up anyway. She's picking me up."

A few minutes later, they were seated at the table with a plate of food in front of them. Santana took a sip of her orange juice before she broke the comfortable silence that had fallen over them. "What are your plans for today?"

"I think I'm going to practice my dancing for a bit before I head off to work." Brittany replied softly, glancing down at her plate. She had changed her shifts with one of her co-workers so she would be starting late today.

Santana sensed the change in mood and was silent for a few seconds before asking, "Does this mean that you're not giving up?"

"I promised, didn't I?" Brittany mumbled half-heartedly, not looking up.

Santana didn't know what to say so she decided to remain silent. She couldn't help but think that there was something that Brittany wasn't telling her. She had always been able to read Brittany like an open book and something just didn't feel right. She hoped that Brittany would tell her eventually.

After breakfast, Santana took a quick shower and got dressed. When she walked back into the living room, Brittany was sitting on the couch with her legs crossed and a book in her hands. Santana took a moment to admire the sight before she quietly crossed the distance between them. Brittany was so engrossed in her reading that she didn't acknowledge Santana's presence until Santana reached out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She looked up and smiled before focusing her attention on her book again.

"What are you reading?" Santana asked as she sat down next to her.

"Harry Potter."

"Again?"

Brittany just made a small noise of confirmation and Santana couldn't help but smile. She shuffled a little closer to Brittany until their arms were touching. "I'll just sit here then. Sad and lonely."

Brittany sent her a playful glare and stretched out her legs, patting her thighs. Santana shifted until she was lying down and rested her head on Brittany's lap. Brittany leaned down and kissed the tip of Santana's nose before she resumed her reading. Santana sighed contentedly and closed her eyes as Brittany began to comb her fingers through her hair so soothingly that she felt herself begin to drift off almost instantly.

"How late is Quinn coming to pick you up?" Brittany's voice pulled her back into reality.

Santana blinked a few times and glanced at the clock, groaning when she saw the time. "Any minute now."

Not long after, there was a knock on the door and Santana reluctantly pulled herself upright. She got to her feet and quickly walked to the door. "Hey, Q." She said when she came face to face with her best friend. "Come on in, I still have to put on my shoes."

Quinn rolled her eyes and stepped inside, closing the door behind her. She smiled at Brittany who looked up from her book. "Hey, Britt. How are you?"

"I'm fine." Brittany returned the smile. "And you?"

"Me too. Santana told me that you had an audition yesterday, how did it go?"

Brittany's face fell and she looked away. "I didn't get the part."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

"There will be plenty of other opportunities." Santana commented as she quickly tied the laces of her black Converses. "Britt's an amazing dancer and I'm sure that she'll eventually find something that'll work out. I guess this just wasn't meant to be."

Brittany kept her head lowered and nervously chewed on her bottom lip as Santana continued to brag about her dance skills. She didn't want to tell Santana that she hadn't auditioned because she had frozen out of fear. She wouldn't be able to handle the disappointed look on her girlfriend's face.

Embarrassment overwhelmed her once more.

"Well, we'll be heading out then." Santana's voice snapped Brittany out of thoughts. The brunette walked over to her girlfriend and leaned down to give her a quick kiss on the lips. "Have a nice day."

"You too." Brittany smiled up at her. "Bye Quinn!"

"Bye Brittany."

Once the two had left, Brittany continued to read her book for a little while longer before she put it away and made her way into the bedroom to change into some work-out clothes. She didn't really feel like dancing right now but she was determined not to let Santana down even more.

* * *

Brittany tied an apron around her waist and brushed her hair behind her ears. As always on Saturday nights, it was busy in the diner. She tidied up the counter with a rag and then grabbed a notepad to begin taking up orders. She was already exhausted and her shift hadn't even really started yet.

In the next couple of hours, things were pretty chaotic so Brittany was beyond relieved when things finally quieted down a little. She leaned heavily against the counter as she drank some water. Time seemed to pass slower and slower each day she worked at the diner. Sometimes she was just so tired of doing to same thing over and over again.

"Earth to Brittany." Tina waved a hand in her face. Brittany blinked slowly and shot her a confused look. "I was asking you about yesterday."

"What about it?" Brittany asked, even though she already knew the answer.

"How did your audition go?"

Brittany sighed in frustration and turned her head away. She really wished that she hadn't told so many people about her audition. "Not good." She mumbled, rearranging some salt shakers. "I wasn't the one they picked."

"Why not?"

"Can everyone stop asking me about my damn audition?" Brittany snapped before she could stop herself. "There were people who were better than me so I didn't get the part. Why is that so hard to understand?"

Tina didn't even bat an eye at Brittany's harsh tone. Instead, she crossed her arms over her chest and studied her friend's features intently. "Are you going to tell me what really happened?" She finally asked. Brittany opened her mouth to protest but Tina didn't give her the chance. "I know you, Britt. I can tell when you're hiding something."

Brittany licked her lips and tried to speak in a steady voice. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Come on, Britt." Tina coaxed, lightly nudging Brittany's shoulder with her own. "It's just me you're talking to. Tell me what happened." A long moment of silence passed and Tina sighed. "Britt…"

"I froze." Brittany's voice was so soft that Tina wouldn't have heard it if she hadn't been paying close attention. "I walked out on stage and I don't know what happened but I couldn't do it. Everything hit me at once and I guess that I was overwhelmed or something. I sprinted out the door before I even did one dance step."

Tina took a step closer to her and tried to catch her gaze. "Now why was that so hard to admit?"

"It's embarrassing!" Brittany exclaimed, pulling a face. "I just stood there gaping at the judges like an idiot. I felt so stupid afterwards."

"Britt, things like that happen." Tina said softly. Brittany just scoffed and shook her head. "It's been two years since you've last auditioned for anything and it obviously brought back a lot of memories. It's completely understandable that you got overwhelmed. It's nothing to feel embarrassed about."

Brittany's features softened. "I just didn't want to disappoint anyone."

"Santana?"

"Yeah." Brittany sighed. "I haven't told her."

"You should." Tina said simply. "She would understand."

Brittany bit her lip. "I guess."

Tina gave her shoulder a soft squeeze but didn't say anything else.

When Brittany's shift came to an end, it was already late at night and she figured that Santana would be asleep by now. She sent her girlfriend a good night text and started to make her way home. She was so tired that she fell asleep the second her head hit her pillow.

* * *

Brittany had been acting distant for the last couple of days. She had been quiet and lost in thought, nothing like her usual self. Every time Santana tried to talk to her, Brittany would tell her that she was fine but Santana knew that she wasn't. There was obviously something bothering the blonde and Santana was going to find out what that was.

It was late at night when Santana arrived at Brittany's apartment. She knew that Brittany would be home from work by now. After a short moment of hesitation, she knocked on the door and heard approaching footsteps a few seconds later.

"San?" Brittany sounded surprised to see her there. "Did I forget that you were coming over?"

"Can I come in?" Santana asked, avoiding the question.

"Sure." Brittany said, her eyebrows pinching together in confusion, before she stepped aside to let Santana in. Santana followed Brittany into the living room and watched as she sat down on the couch. "Not that I'm not happy to see you but what are you doing here? It's kind of late."

"What's going on?" Santana asked firmly.

"Nothing. Everything is fi-"

"Don't lie to me, Britt." Santana cut her off, getting a little frustrated. "You're hiding something and I want to know what it is." Brittany guiltily glanced away from her and pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Santana's features softened and she walked closer to her. "You've been acting strange since you're audition. Please just tell me what's wrong so I can fix it."

"You can't fix it." Brittany mumbled, resting her chin on her knees and staring ahead.

Santana was relieved that Brittany was at least admitting that there was something wrong. She took a seat next to her girlfriend and placed a hand on her shoulder. "What happened?" She asked softly, looking at the side of Brittany's face intently. "Are you upset about your audition? I told you that there will be plenty of other opportunities. This was only your first try after being out of it for years."

"I messed up." Brittany said in a monotone voice.

"I'm sure that you were great." Santana tried to console her. "There were just other dancers who were better candidates for the part. That doesn't me-"

"I didn't audition." Brittany was the one to cut off Santana this time, words spilling out of her mouth before she had the chance to stop them. "I froze and ran off stage."

_Oh. _

Santana was silent for a few long moments as she tried to find the right words. "Why didn't you just tell me that?" She finally asked, slowly running her hand up and down Brittany's arms. Brittany tugged her bottom lip between her teeth and continued to stare ahead with a blank expression on her face. "Britt?"

"I didn't want you to be disappointed in me." Brittany admitted quietly, nervously fiddling with her fingers. "You're so smart and talented and I'm just a waitress. I wanted to do something to make you proud but I had to go and fuck it up by acting like an idiot."

"Britt…" Santana whispered, unsure of where to even begin. She wrapped her arm around Brittany's waist and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "I'm already so proud of you. I've never met anyone who's as strong as you are and I feel so lucky to be your girlfriend. Stop being so hard on yourself."

"I'm just so embarrassed." Brittany mumbled.

"It could've happened to the best of us." Santana said softly. "I know that it sucks but you have to let it go so you can focus on everything that's still to come." Brittany nodded but Santana wasn't entirely convinced. "You do still want to dance, right? I don't want you to feel pressured. I just want you to be happy."

"I do." Brittany assured her, making eye-contact for the first time in what felt like hours.

Santana smiled softly and placed a soft kiss on her lips before asking, "Why didn't you tell me, Britt?"

"It's not as if you ever talk to me about anything." Brittany said, her voice suddenly sounding cold.

Santana sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, inhaling slowly. She looked into Brittany's blue orbs and was taken aback by how much exhaustion and even a little anger she saw in them. "Let's not do this again, Britt." She said softly. "I don't know what you want me to say."

"I know that your parents hurt you really badly but I don't know how to be there for you because you refuse to open up to me." Brittany's eyes glazed over with sadness before she shook her head. "It took me a while but I eventually shared all my feelings with you and it hurts that you won't do the same thing. It makes me feel like you don't trust me."

"That's not it, Britt." Santana replied, squeezing the blonde's waist. "I honestly don't know what to tell you."

Brittany pressed her lips into a tight line and nodded slowly. She silently unwrapped Santana's arm from around her and stood up. Santana frowned in confusion and curiously looked up at her. Brittany smiled sadly and leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'm going to bed." Santana nodded and went to stand up but Brittany gently placed her hand on her shoulder to keep her in place. "I'll call you in the morning."

Without another word, Brittany turned around and left the room. Santana watched her girlfriend's retreating form with sad eyes. Brittany hadn't seemed angry but the fact that she hadn't invited her to stay over confirmed that she was definitely upset with her. Santana sighed and rubbed her hand over her face. She realized how much it hurt Brittany every time she pushed her away and it made her feel incredibly guilty. There were so many things that she wanted to share with Brittany but she just didn't know how to put her thoughts into words.

She sat there for a few moments longer before she reluctantly left Brittany's apartment.


End file.
